DEAR ABBY: My 38-year-old daughter is being married this summer. This is her first marriage, and we are planning the wedding. She has never planned a big event like this before, and every suggestion I make gets us into a fight. I know it's upsetting her terribly, and it's upsetting me as well.
We have always been close. I understand it's her wedding, but I would like some input since my husband and I are paying for it, and there are certain traditions I would like continued. Also, every time I suggest inviting someone, her reaction is, "... I don't know. They're your friends, not mine." Well, I would like my friends to share this moment in my daughter's life. What's the solution here? -- FIGHTING IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR FIGHTING: You may be a "traditional" mother, but customs have changed since you were a bride. Among them is the fact that women your daughter's age usually pay for their own weddings, which entitles them to run their own show. I think the solution to your problem may involve suggesting that to your daughter. If you are footing the bill for the "show," you should absolutely have some say about the production, and your daughter should be mature enough to accept it -- along with the check -- or finance it herself.