DEAR ABBY: I have a friend I'll call Rose who likes to brag about how cheap she is. Sometimes when we're talking, she will interrupt me and ask, "How do you like my pants? I got them for a dollar at a yard sale." Or she'll say, "I got them for free."

Rose likes to draw attention to herself every time she wears something new by asking how I like it. Then she will tell me where she got it and how much it cost. I couldn't be less interested, and I'm tired of hearing about her tacky, cheap clothes.

We go to a water aerobics class together, and she will interrupt the class to ask how they like her "sexy" bathing suit. Abby, Rose is in her 70s and not sexy. I like her as a friend, but I am about ready to tell her to shut up! I don't want to be mean. How can I get across that I don't want to hear about her clothes? -- TIRED OF THE DISCOUNT FASHION SHOW

DEAR TIRED: If you say nothing, "Second Hand Rose" will continue her line of chatter. Try this: Say, "Rose, honey, you know how much I like you, but I wish you would stop talking about your wardrobe with me. You are interesting on so many other levels, and I'm just not into fashion." Then cross your fingers and hope your friend gets the message.

DEAR ABBY: Our friend's adult daughter has been dating a guy my friend does not approve of for about three years. The daughter moved in with him, and afterward one evening, told my husband and me. We are friends of her mom, but we agreed to say nothing because we didn't want to get in the middle, and it wasn't our news to tell.

The daughter recently told her mother (our friend) that she and the guy are living together and that we knew. Now her mom is no longer talking to us or to her daughter. Is there a way we could have handled it differently? Is there any way I can repair the situation? -- MISSING OUR BESTIE

DEAR MISSING: Your friend's daughter may be an adult chronologically, but she doesn't act like one. She should not have kept her living arrangement from her mother and shouldn't have asked you to keep the secret. Then she compounded it by betraying you.

In hindsight, you should have told the daughter immediately that the way to keep a secret is to tell no one, especially a close friend of her mother's, and encouraged her to level with her mom. And as to how to repair the breach -- all you can do is continue apologizing and hope that eventually your friend's fury will dissipate.

DEAR ABBY: I have a delicate problem with my boss at work. He seems to have a problem with constantly touching his crotch area (scratching, holding or laying a hand on it). I am not sure if it is a nervous thing or a problem. How should I address this without making matters worse for either myself or him? -- SARAH IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR SARAH: I wish you had mentioned whether other employees also see him do this. If they do and any of them are male, it might be less embarrassing for your boss if that employee would mention to him that others are noticing. However, if you are the only employee who sees him, then the most tactful way to handle it would be to keep your gaze resolutely above his beltline.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl. I'm a fun person to be with, and I love spending time with my friends and family. But one thing sometimes ruins it. I have a bit of a temper and some anger problems. I'm wondering if you have anything that could help me control my temper and be nicer to people? I get into disagreements with people I care about because of my attitude. Can you give me some guidance? -- TESTY TEEN IN WISCONSIN

DEAR TEEN: If you think you are the only person with anger issues, you are mistaken. We are living in increasingly stressful times that have affected most of us in one way or another.

It takes self-control -- and maturity -- to react calmly instead of spouting off angrily. Before you can deal with your anger problem you need to be able to pinpoint what makes you lose control. The problem with a hair-trigger temper is that those who fly off the handle sometimes shoot themselves in the foot.

While anger is a normal emotion we all experience at one time or another, most people start learning to control it during childhood. Uncontrolled anger is destructive because it drives others away, making it impossible to maintain healthy, successful relationships. The trick is learning to express anger in constructive rather than destructive ways. My booklet "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It" offers suggestions on how to recognize you are angry before you lose control and how to channel it appropriately. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus a check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. I hope it will be helpful for you. It takes maturity to identify and verbalize negative emotions rather than lash out at others. Being able to calmly say, "I'm having a bad day today," or, "When you say (or do) that, it makes me angry" will earn you the respect of others. And it is the key to defusing anger before you lose control.

DEAR ABBY: I just finished building my dream home. My dilemma is, now that I have a wonderful home gym, my in-laws want to use it. I feel selfish saying no. But I'm a very private and somewhat introverted person, and I really like my space. I'm afraid if I agree, it may become inconvenient for me when I want to use it. Where do I draw the line?

Am I being selfish? If not, how do I refuse without disrupting the family dynamics? I have a feeling it wouldn't sit well, and so far, I've been coming up with excuses to avoid the situation. Please help. -- RUNNING OUT OF EXCUSES

DEAR RUNNING OUT: A tactful solution might be to "remind" your in-laws that you want the gym to be available for your private use when you need it, and suggest some hours or days when there wouldn't be a conflict. And hold a good thought. Interest in working out in gyms is notoriously short-lived, so your problem may disappear in quick time.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married more than 20 years. Once in a while, he'll stop being affectionate and ceases talking to me. Obviously, he is upset. He holds it together for our children, but I get the serious cold shoulder.

He won't tell me why he is unhappy. He simply expects me to give him "space." This is difficult because I assume it's something I have done, and I want to make it right. After several days, he'll start coming around and talking to me again, and he expects me to jump right back into our usual behavior. But by this time I feel abandoned and resentful.

It generally takes me some time to warm back up to him, which doesn't make him very happy since he doesn't see anything wrong with his needing space. I realize that's true, but should I be expected to put aside my hurt feelings overnight? How can I deal with these difficult days so I won't feel so alone and get upset with him? And what should I do when he expects me to bounce right back? -- TIED IN KNOTS IN TEXAS

DEAR TIED IN KNOTS: You're in a long marriage. Has your husband always behaved this way? Talk to him about it at a time when he's himself and not in one of his silent phases.

As you should be aware by now, not all men are good at expressing their feelings. Rather than become upset with him, ask if he is upset with you. If the answer is no, believe him and give him his space. It would be considerate (and mature) of him, however, to warn you when he's upset about something that has nothing to do with you, without prompting.

DEAR ABBY: Is there an organization that matches seniors who would love to be grandmothers with families that need grandparents for their child/children?

I'm a 70-year-old recent widow who has no grandchildren to love, take places, play games with or just be with. I would think in every city there are children with no seniors in their lives, seniors who could make great grandparents. It would be a win-win for both the child and the senior. It could also be a blessing for a single mother or father to have someone to help out with emergency child care or just have some extra "family" in their hometown. -- UNFULFILLED GRANDMA IN MINNESOTA

DEAR UNFULFILLED: Unless the parents get to know you well, it isn't likely they would entrust their children to your care. However, this doesn't mean you cannot volunteer your time to help children in need. One organization is Big Brothers Big Sisters of America (bbbs.org), which offers opportunities to mentor. Another that might appeal to you is Foster Grandparents, which is sponsored by the Corporation for National and Community Service.

You could also call the hospitals in your area and ask if they need someone to come in on a regular basis to hold and rock premature infants and newborns. If you contact CASA for Children (casaforchildren.org), you could become a court-appointed advocate for abused and neglected children and teens, which may provide the emotional satisfaction you need and fill the void you are feeling.