DEAR ABBY: I'm hoping you can help me with this situation. I have been married for 13 years but never told my family that I got married. I now want to divorce my husband, but I don't know how to approach it because he holds it over my head. Please help. I have fallen in love with someone else and I need to divorce my current husband and move on, but I don't know how to tell my family. -- STUCK IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR STUCK: Obviously, you and your family aren't close. What is he holding over your head? The fact that you were married? Your family can't miss something they have never had -- in this instance, a relationship with the spouse you hid from them. So although they may be disappointed that you withheld the information, don't expect them to grieve his "loss."
You didn't mention how long you've been involved with this other man, but you should not rush into another marriage. Perhaps this mess will teach you how important it is to live openly and honestly and not sweep things -- like a husband -- under the rug.