DEAR ABBY: Ever since high school, our adult daughter has had mood swings. My wife and I thought she'd grow out of it as she matured, but she hasn't. At her request we sent her to a university far away, and we were proud that she earned her bachelor's degree. We thought independent living would do the trick, but her personality and behavior toward us didn't change.

She's an only child, and we spoiled her -- bought her cars and paid for college. I asked her to try for scholarships to help us out, but she didn't. She married and had two wonderful kids, but her mood swings persist. When I mentioned she see a counselor or therapist as a way to get some third-party advice and sort things out, she hit the ceiling and told me I was the one who needs therapy. Then she brought up my flaws and my past drinking problem. Granted, I have made mistakes, and I'm not perfect, but I've learned and grown.

After 10 years she divorced her husband. She got custody of the kids and the house. Her divorce cost us a great deal of money. Her authoritative and moody behavior is affecting our grandchildren.

I love my daughter very much and always have. If you were in my shoes, Abby, what would you do for a more healthy and loving relationship for all involved? -- STILL HER DAD IN FLORIDA

DEAR DAD: I would look back and examine all the things I did to foster her behavior. An example would be paying for her divorce. Then I would stop doing them and not resume until she agreed to consult a psychotherapist about her mood swings. Don't do it for her or for yourself. Do it for the sake of your grandchildren.

DEAR ABBY: Before I met my boyfriend of eight months, I planned a 10-day Japan vacation for next year with my best guy friend, "J." We have been friends for eight years, and have never had any romantic interest in each other. Both of us want to visit Japan because it's on our bucket list.

J and I were both single when we started making plans. Then I met my boyfriend. My boyfriend knew from the beginning that this trip was going to happen next year. Because the date wasn't "set in stone" or paid for until recently, my boyfriend thinks I should have called it off. He says I'm making the trip and my friend a higher priority than him, and his feelings are hurt. He said if I was going with a female friend he wouldn't care.

I still want to take the trip. I feel canceling would be betraying my friend J. Am I being a bad girlfriend? -- TRIPPED UP IN THE EAST

DEAR TRIPPED UP: A "bad" girlfriend? No. An independent one, yes. You say your boyfriend has known about this from the beginning, so this wasn't a surprise to him. If he was more secure about himself and your relationship, he would know that J isn't a threat. Not only should you take the trip, you should also use the time away to decide if you want a life partner as insecure as your boyfriend appears to be.

DEAR ABBY: I read that there is a suicide somewhere in the world every 40 seconds. Numbers rise at holiday time. Feeling like a child whose nose is pressed against a window, seeing others from the outside as they enjoy the warmth of the moment, can lead to thoughts of abandonment and despair. That's why I have a mission -- I set an extra place at my table.

I can attest that it works. One year I announced in church that my home would be open to anyone who didn't have a family. A woman came forward and accepted my invitation. We spent the day getting to know each other and bonded in friendship.

Please encourage your readers to set an extra place at their holiday table. My brother committed suicide. I move forward in his honor. -- FULL OF GRATITUDE IN PHOENIX

DEAR FULL OF GRATITUDE: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your brother. I'm pleased to help spread the word. Isolation can be a killer, and inclusion can be a lifesaver. Bless you for what you are doing. I hope other readers will consider it and follow your example.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma I don't know how to maneuver through. I have been working as an intern at a company for about 18 months. During the summer, I completed a test I needed to become fully licensed in my field.

However, I'm still working in my current position at intern wages, although I have repeatedly requested a meeting with my employer to talk money. He continues to say he doesn't have time, and we will discuss it later. He even agreed to a time on a certain day but failed to show up for the meeting. When I emailed him the amount I want, he replied, "We'll talk about it later." Should I continue to press the issue? Call him? Email? Or just look for other work? -- CONCERNED ABOUT MONEY

DEAR CONCERNED: You have done enough. Pushing your employer further won't help. The ball is now in his court. Start quietly looking for another job -- one in which your skills will be appropriately compensated.

DEAR ABBY: How can I tactfully tell an elementary school teacher in whose class I assist that she uses poor grammar and words that aren't words (i.e., "I boughten this yesterday," or, "Her and me went to the soccer game.")? I am fond of this teacher but feel she's doing a disservice to her pupils. Other than that she's a devoted, energetic teacher. It is really difficult to bite my tongue. -- TACTFUL IN THE EAST

DEAR TACTFUL: Children model their behavior after the example the adults around them provide. That a teacher would consistently do what she's doing in a classroom setting is shocking. How could she have become a licensed educator with such poor English skills?

Politically speaking, I don't think that as her subordinate you should take it upon yourself to correct the woman. I do think this is something you should discuss with the school principal.

DEAR ABBY: My stepson "Arnold" recently moved out, and I found a notebook he left behind that I thought I'd use. Inside was a journal entry he had made last year about someone he loved. The problem is, it's directed to another man.

I want to believe that's not true, but the writing and everything else checks out. I wish I had never seen it. We're a Christian family and have conservative views. Arnold never dated much, but we thought it was because he was so focused on his education. None of us would have ever expected this. There were no signs whatsoever.

I feel such a burden right now. I know why he wouldn't tell his parents. His dad would be devastated. I never keep anything from my husband, and I feel terrible not being able to share this. But I don't want to reveal what I saw if my stepson isn't ready. What should I do? Should I ask Arnold about it? How can I take this burden off my shoulders? -- STRESSED IN THE WEST

DEAR STRESSED: I am a firm believer in communication. Return the notebook to Arnold, and when you do, use it as an opportunity to open a conversation with him about it. I do not think you should unburden yourself to your husband. The person to "out" Arnold should be Arnold.

DEAR ABBY: I reconnected with a guy from high school five months ago. We started hanging out and eventually decided to start dating. The first month or so was great, but right away he started becoming very possessive and jealous.

It has been four months, and he is constantly accusing me of being sneaky and cheating. Abby, all I do is work and go home. I don't have a social life anymore because he doesn't trust me to go anywhere alone. I can't even talk on the phone to one of my girlfriends without him asking me a million and one questions. My friends and family tell me I need to do what's best for me and leave him, but I'm not sure if I'm scared to leave him because I'll be alone, or if I'm just scared of him. -- ON THE EDGE IN OHIO

DEAR ON THE EDGE: Your "guy from high school" is doing his best to isolate you. This is one of the warning signs of an abuser. If you are afraid to leave him because you don't want to be alone, please consider how alone you are feeling right now.

If you are afraid he will hurt you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233 for suggestions on how to leave safely. If you need moral support when you deliver the message, have family members or several friends with you when you do it. Then block him from your social media and cellphone. And if he threatens you in any way, file a police report. The only thing you should NOT do is nothing.

DEAR ABBY: At what age is it inappropriate for an uncle to cuddle his niece? She's in fifth grade. I don't do anything except put my arm around her while sitting on the couch. She still likes it, but when should I stop this activity with her? -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WONDERING: I don't regard an uncle putting his arm around his niece to show affection as "cuddling." However, the age when the displays of affection should be curtailed is when the girl is physically mature enough that it makes either her or her uncle uncomfortable.