DEAR ABBY: I read that there is a suicide somewhere in the world every 40 seconds. Numbers rise at holiday time. Feeling like a child whose nose is pressed against a window, seeing others from the outside as they enjoy the warmth of the moment, can lead to thoughts of abandonment and despair. That's why I have a mission -- I set an extra place at my table.

I can attest that it works. One year I announced in church that my home would be open to anyone who didn't have a family. A woman came forward and accepted my invitation. We spent the day getting to know each other and bonded in friendship.

Please encourage your readers to set an extra place at their holiday table. My brother committed suicide. I move forward in his honor. -- FULL OF GRATITUDE IN PHOENIX

DEAR FULL OF GRATITUDE: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your brother. I'm pleased to help spread the word. Isolation can be a killer, and inclusion can be a lifesaver. Bless you for what you are doing. I hope other readers will consider it and follow your example.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma I don't know how to maneuver through. I have been working as an intern at a company for about 18 months. During the summer, I completed a test I needed to become fully licensed in my field.

However, I'm still working in my current position at intern wages, although I have repeatedly requested a meeting with my employer to talk money. He continues to say he doesn't have time, and we will discuss it later. He even agreed to a time on a certain day but failed to show up for the meeting. When I emailed him the amount I want, he replied, "We'll talk about it later." Should I continue to press the issue? Call him? Email? Or just look for other work? -- CONCERNED ABOUT MONEY

DEAR CONCERNED: You have done enough. Pushing your employer further won't help. The ball is now in his court. Start quietly looking for another job -- one in which your skills will be appropriately compensated.

DEAR ABBY: How can I tactfully tell an elementary school teacher in whose class I assist that she uses poor grammar and words that aren't words (i.e., "I boughten this yesterday," or, "Her and me went to the soccer game.")? I am fond of this teacher but feel she's doing a disservice to her pupils. Other than that she's a devoted, energetic teacher. It is really difficult to bite my tongue. -- TACTFUL IN THE EAST

DEAR TACTFUL: Children model their behavior after the example the adults around them provide. That a teacher would consistently do what she's doing in a classroom setting is shocking. How could she have become a licensed educator with such poor English skills?

Politically speaking, I don't think that as her subordinate you should take it upon yourself to correct the woman. I do think this is something you should discuss with the school principal.

DEAR ABBY: My stepson "Arnold" recently moved out, and I found a notebook he left behind that I thought I'd use. Inside was a journal entry he had made last year about someone he loved. The problem is, it's directed to another man.

I want to believe that's not true, but the writing and everything else checks out. I wish I had never seen it. We're a Christian family and have conservative views. Arnold never dated much, but we thought it was because he was so focused on his education. None of us would have ever expected this. There were no signs whatsoever.

I feel such a burden right now. I know why he wouldn't tell his parents. His dad would be devastated. I never keep anything from my husband, and I feel terrible not being able to share this. But I don't want to reveal what I saw if my stepson isn't ready. What should I do? Should I ask Arnold about it? How can I take this burden off my shoulders? -- STRESSED IN THE WEST

DEAR STRESSED: I am a firm believer in communication. Return the notebook to Arnold, and when you do, use it as an opportunity to open a conversation with him about it. I do not think you should unburden yourself to your husband. The person to "out" Arnold should be Arnold.

DEAR ABBY: At what age is it inappropriate for an uncle to cuddle his niece? She's in fifth grade. I don't do anything except put my arm around her while sitting on the couch. She still likes it, but when should I stop this activity with her? -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WONDERING: I don't regard an uncle putting his arm around his niece to show affection as "cuddling." However, the age when the displays of affection should be curtailed is when the girl is physically mature enough that it makes either her or her uncle uncomfortable.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have three teenagers -- 18, 16 and 14. My wife cooks for them every day or buys them fast food. I always eat leftovers, which the fridge is full of. Our children refuse to eat leftovers or cook for themselves, and they insist on having a freshly cooked meal every day.

Occasionally, my wife needs to work late and asks me to buy fast food for the children. I respond that I'll gladly cook for them or buy them fast food, but first they have to finish the leftovers in the fridge. My wife gets upset and accuses me of not caring about our children. Who is right? -- LEFTOVERS IN THE EAST

DEAR LEFTOVERS: I have a news flash for you. At the ages of 18, 16 and 14, your kids are no longer children; they are teenagers approaching adulthood. Rather than act like pushovers, you and your wife should be teaching them how to cook -- a skill they'll need if they are going to live healthy lives in the future.

Yes, they should finish the leftovers. Leftovers are usually better the second time around because the flavors have had more time to meld. No, they shouldn't be having fast food instead. If you and your wife care about your progeny, start assigning each of them an evening in which they prepare at least one dish, while you make sure they know how to do it. Stop arguing and start parenting!

DEAR ABBY: My fiance dumped me three months ago. We were together 4 1/2 years and engaged for almost a year. He started dating someone else the day after he broke up with me. He said it was because we had nothing in common anymore, and he no longer liked talking to me or touching me. We were engaged! He waited all that time to decide he no longer loves me?

How do I deal with my heartbreak and build myself back up again? And why in the world would he be dating someone new a day later? I don't want him back. As far as I'm concerned, he's a jerk, and I'll be better off without him. I just want to know how to deal with the confusion I have. -- HEARTBROKEN AND CONFUSED

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Things don't always turn out the way we plan. I know you are hurting, and I am sorry. Start handling your heartbreak by being grateful you didn't devote even more time to a person who would treat you this way.

And to answer your question about how he could begin dating someone a day after he broke up with you, it's because he had his eye on her before ending the romance with you. If you think he has caught the brass ring this time around, think again. Few "frying pan into the fire" relationships are lasting ones. Consider this a new beginning and start living your life.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

The question now that really vexes

Is where we're gonna place our "X"es

Voting, folks, should not upset ya --

Be glad we're livin' where they let ya!

Readers, please use your voices. Go out and vote today! -- ABBY