DEAR ABBY: My son has taken it upon himself to get romantically involved with two different married women. He's newly divorced after a long marriage and hates the idea of being alone. He says he loves them both, but realizes there's no future with either one, so he's trying to extricate himself from the jam he's gotten into. The problem is, the women refuse to let go, and it's causing all sorts of problems. Any ideas? -- DAD IN THE MIDDLE IN NEW YORK

DEAR DAD: If you are smart, you'll stay out of this mess. Hasn't it occurred to you that if your son was truly unhappy with the situation, he -- not you -- would have sought help for his problem?

He doesn't love either of those women; he loves what he's getting from them -- attention, companionship, sex. Because they are married, he doesn't have to worry about them wanting a commitment from him as a single woman might. If he really wanted to stop these dolls from "stalking" him, he would threaten to make their husbands aware of what's been going on, and that would be the end of it.

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer. My two older sisters are away in college, and my dad works all the time. How should I balance taking care of Mom, doing schoolwork and playing field hockey? I wish I could give each task my full attention, but I'm not going to be home much because of school. -- JUGGLING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR JUGGLING: I am sure your mother's diagnosis has caused stress for every member of your family, including those who are away, and for that I am sorry. You are so young, and I can only imagine the stress you are feeling.

If you were discussing this with your mother, I am sure she would tell you -- as I am -- how important it is that you keep up with your schoolwork and activities. You cannot assume the entire responsibility for her care by yourself. Who will help her during her treatments, and how much time you should realistically devote, is something both your parents should help you to determine. None of you will really know how much assistance she'll require until the process is started, so be flexible and take things a step at a time.

DEAR ABBY: My mom owns two successful women's clothing stores near my hometown that she's had for more than 10 years. The problem is, she named them after me, and I hate it!

I've tried talking to her about it many times, but every time I bring it up she gets sarcastic, says things like, "This is a fun conversation," and doesn't let me get a word out. I have tried talking to the rest of my family about it, but they don't consider it a big deal and tell me I'm being ridiculous. I have run out of ideas about what to do, so if you could give me some advice, it would really help. -- ANGRY DAUGHTER

DEAR ANGRY DAUGHTER: Many daughters would consider what your mother did to be a compliment. However, because it bothers you so much, consider going by your middle name. And, if that doesn't satisfy you, and you feel strongly enough about this, go to court and legally change your name to another one you like when you reach adulthood.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with "Mason" for almost two years. I moved in with him a few months back, and things have been very good between us. I know he's The One, and I'd marry him right now if he'd ask.

My problem is his roommate, "Ryan." Mason has hinted about a proposal in the near future, which is something I used to want until recently, when I brought up a concern of mine about his roommate.

Ryan has lived with Mason for more than 10 years. Ryan is a grown, healthy man who hasn't had a regular job during the entire 10 years he's lived with my boyfriend. Mason says he depends on Ryan's $500 monthly rent payment to keep up with the lifestyle he's used to having. I want to go further in our relationship without a third person, but when I brought it up, I was made out to be the bad guy and accused of not liking Ryan -- which I consider a red flag.

Would it be unfair to break up with Mason because he's so fond of -- and dependent upon -- his longtime friend/roommate and the $500 rent? I don't want to give him an ultimatum. I adore him and wish he was as fond of me as he is his roommate. I want us to depend on each other and experience life like a normal couple without a third party. We both work, and I'm starting to resent Ryan, who I feel has no intention of moving on. Should I move out and walk away because I find it weird? -- "BAD GUY" GIRLFRIEND

DEAR B.G.G.: Before moving out and walking away, have another discussion with Mason. Ask him if he envisions a future with all three of you in it, and what that means. And while you're at it, ask him why he feels he needs Ryan's $500 since both of you are working and there should be no reduction in his lifestyle if Ryan moves out. In fact, there should be an improvement if you split all the bills. If Mason still can't agree to part with Ryan, then move out and walk away because he's already taken.

DEAR ABBY: My mother has dementia. My sister came to visit. The day after she left to return to Georgia, I noticed a picture was missing from the wall. When I called and asked her about it, she said it was "her inheritance" and Mom had given it to her "a long time ago." I think it was stealing. Mom has no idea it's gone. What do you think? -- THROWN IN MICHIGAN

DEAR THROWN: If it wasn't theft, your sister would have discussed it with you before she took the picture rather than "disappear" the item. However, in the interest of family harmony, it's important to carefully pick your battles.

I wish you had mentioned who will be in charge of your mother's estate after her death. Because you live closer to her, I assume it will be you. If it's a family lawyer, in the interest of a fair division of the assets, that person should be notified so the picture can be properly appraised.

DEAR ABBY: Homecoming is next month, and we are not allowed to take outside dates. My girlfriend goes to a different school and doesn't want me taking anyone else. My school is very small (only 60 kids in the whole high school) and not asking a girl to the dance is frowned upon. It's the custom to ask one of your classmates to homecoming.

My girlfriend grew up in a bigger school where homecoming is much more important. She's convinced I'm going to be someone else's Prince Charming for the night. What she can't understand is that it's nothing like that where I go. Taking someone to the dance at my school isn't romantic -- it's a gentlemanly thing to do. You pick any girl who hasn't been asked and go with her.

I'd like to ask someone -- as friends only -- to the homecoming dance, but my girlfriend gets incredibly upset when I talk about it. Please tell me what to do. -- ONLY A DANCE IN TEXAS

DEAR ONLY A DANCE: Your girlfriend needs to be less controlling and more understanding. You have already explained that not taking someone to the homecoming dance is frowned upon in your community. So what if you are "someone else's Prince Charming" for one evening? Your girlfriend can't attend, so why not be a good sport and let you make someone happy for one night? What you should do is go to the dance and, if your girlfriend still doesn't understand, ask your mother to explain it to her "woman to woman."

DEAR ABBY: I live in a duplex, and my neighbor has a cat I'll call "Sox" that's positive for feline immunodeficiency virus (FIV). I'm a cat lover with a kitty of my own.

To prevent the spread of infection, FIV cats are never supposed to be allowed outside, but my neighbor lets Sox come and go as he pleases. Abby, he comes to our house and uses our cat door to access our cat food and water bowl. I know Sox is at times left without food and water, so I'm reluctant to restrict his access to our food, but my cat has picked up respiratory infections because Sox contaminated the bowl. I also have to get my cat tested for FIV during his annual exams, at an added cost of $60.

My question: Would it be fair of me to request that my neighbor pay for some or all of the extra expenses associated with treatment and testing due to the FIV exposure? I have asked if she could offer Sox my brand of kibble at her house so he'll be less interested in coming to our house unless he really needs food or water. She refused. I'm not sure if I'm asking too much, or if I should expect her to work with me to help offset the costs of her free-roaming, FIV-infected kitty. -- FELINE CARE

DEAR FELINE: Under the circumstances, I don't think it's unfair to ask your irresponsible neighbor to cooperate with you on this. However, if she wouldn't spring for something as simple as the kibble, don't hold your breath.

The solution to your problem is to make Sox's access to your home impossible by securing the cat door. And if her cat is mingling with and possibly infecting other cats in the neighborhood, call Animal Control and report it.