DEAR ABBY: My 3-year-old grandson hurts animals. He's intelligent and articulate. He understands many concepts about all kinds of things. Frankly, I'm scared. It's because he is so intelligent and high-functioning. I feel he should have more empathy than he does.

He has been doing this off and on for the last couple of years. My daughter, my husband and I have been discouraging it the whole time. He gets timeouts, stern talks and toys taken away. It doesn't work. My daughter has started swatting his bottom or his leg hoping he will understand it is unacceptable. She isn't comfortable hitting him and neither am I. My grandson knows better. I know he does.

My daughter called me this afternoon, upset because he hurt their dog again. Must we get rid of these pets? No one wants to do that. When is it too much? How can we make it stop? -- AGHAST IN ALABAMA

DEAR AGHAST: It is already "too much." Your grandson's behavior isn't normal. Because he seems unable to appropriately interact with these helpless animals, he shouldn't be allowed to be around them without constant supervision. For the dog's own safety, another home should be found for it before it's hurt again.

Your grandson may be acting out of anger, because he has been physically or sexually abused himself or has witnessed domestic violence. This is why it's extremely important he be seen by a licensed mental health professional, who can advise his parents -- and you -- about how this should be handled. Without intervention, the boy's behavior could escalate, and he could seriously injure another child.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 64-year-old woman; my sister is 68. A few months ago, she was shopping and saw a man who looked EXACTLY like our father. (Dad passed away in 2008.) A conversation ensued, and he subsequently came to visit her at her home. He's 69. She snapped a picture of him and sent it to me, and the resemblance is uncanny. He was born in the same state as our father, was adopted and never knew his birth parents. We never had a brother; it was always just the two of us and our parents. She wants me to meet him.

He's married and doesn't want to tell his family about us. I would be happy to meet him, brother or not, but I need to know the truth before getting involved. It would be too weird for me to just wonder. He seems reluctant to take the DNA test. My sister and I are in the AncestryDNA system already, so it would be easy for us all to confirm. What should I do? -- GETTING INVOLVED

DEAR GETTING INVOLVED: Because this man doesn't want his family to know he may have siblings, is reluctant to take the test and you would prefer not to meet him unless you know his status, do nothing. The next move should be his.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance is in a group chat with a dozen of his friends. They are all professional men in their 30s with families. They regularly send each other pornographic images. This includes the group "icon," which appears to be a solicited picture of a woman's behind with the group name written on it with permanent marker. My fiance claims the image is "photoshopped" and that he doesn't look at the pictures. This disturbs me.

I think my fiance should tell his friends not to send these images and to change the group icon. My fiance disagrees. He says it hurts no one and it's OK to do in a private chat. I don't think it's so private since this is on the phones they use in public and it's in a group chat. It also hurts women by distilling their worth to looks.

Hasn't the #MeToo movement and ongoing shift in our culture shown it is sometimes men's responsibility to end this "boys' club" culture? I want my fiance to talk to his friends since they all live apart, but I want to convince him he should take a stand against this degrading attitude toward women's images. -- TIRED OF BEHINDS

DEAR TIRED: Your fiance is not going to change his friends' behavior by doing what you are pushing him to do. I have it on good authority that this is not uncommon behavior among "guys" these days, the equivalent of old-time barber shop talk, reading men's magazines and looking at Playmate calendars -- all of which have been transported to the digital platform. The members of the chat may talk about sports, cars and tech gadgets as well as about women -- typical things men discuss when they're together. Unless they are using their phones to solicit extracurricular sex, I don't think you should be censoring their use of them.

DEAR ABBY: Our 25-year-old granddaughter is engaged to be married to another woman very soon. Her parents told us she is gay a few years ago. She's very independent and will soon have her medical degree. She has been away at college. When she's home she visits us, but we have never been able to talk about it with her.

She knows we don't condone something we believe is wrong. We are torn between going along or continuing to ignore the issue. Can you help? -- NOT IN FAVOR IN KENTUCKY

DEAR NOT IN FAVOR: If you feel you can change your granddaughter's sexual orientation by telling her you disapprove of her being gay, forget it. It won't work and may drive a permanent wedge between you. It might be helpful if you talk to her and let her explain that her sexual orientation isn't something she "chose" -- it's part of who she is: an intelligent, caring, accomplished individual who is dedicating her life to helping others. While it may be hard for you, keep an open mind and listen to what she has to say.

DEAR ABBY: The wife of "Headed for the Open Road" (June 25) will never forgive herself if she doesn't accompany her newly retired husband on his open-road adventures. After working for 40 years and retiring from my third job, my life partner and I went everywhere and did everything together. Three and a half months after my retirement, he passed away suddenly.

I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn't experienced our frozen Jeep in Yellowstone or the eerie silence on the edge of the Hoh Rain Forest in western Washington state. That wife needs to get off her duff and have the adventures of a lifetime -- unless, of course, she doesn't want to get closer to her husband. That would be a shame. -- RICK T. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RICK: Thanks for writing and sharing your experiences. Many other passionate travelers responded, offering guidance to "Headed" in making his dreams of adventure a reality. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Maybe the problem is the idea of a road trip, not the notion of travel. Perhaps he should suggest they go on a cruise or vacation in a nice resort somewhere. She might warm up more to travel if it sounded like a vacation rather than a long drive. And cruises are great -- no daily packing/unpacking, opportunities to "dress up" (if you want), dancing, nightly entertainment, moonlit walks, not to mention days in exotic ports around the world. By the way, my husband and I -- retirees in our 70s -- have just returned from a five-week road trip in France. Far more appealing than seeing Mt. Rushmore again! -- TRAVELER, WITH A CAPITAL "T"

DEAR ABBY: The husband could rent an RV to travel. His wife doesn't want to be cooped up, and an RV would have a living room, couch, TV/DVD, an onboard toilet, separate bedroom and a small kitchen. In other words, it would be like she's still at home, only moving. The couple could even arrange other transportation at their destinations. -- TOM Z. IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were married 10 years when we discussed the destinations on our travel bucket lists. Mine included a road trip to Utah to see the canyons; he wanted a cruise to the war memorials in Hawaii. Neither of us was interested in the other's trip, so he took his adult daughter on the cruise, and three girlfriends and I took the road trip. We both had wonderful times, took tons of photos to share, and came back with lots to talk about. My motto is, don't put off something you really want to do. -- CLAIRE G. OUT WEST

DEAR ABBY: Maybe they could take shorter trips if her objection is the car travel. Or they could fly to a destination, rent a car and see the sights. They could even take a train trip across the country. That wife should be grateful they are both physically able to travel and spend precious time together. -- WISH I COULD IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: My oldest grandson was my traveling companion. When he was 5, we took a long bus trip, and the other times I drove. He was a better traveler than I was. We had marvelous adventures and built wonderful memories. These usually were trips from California to Montana, North Dakota or Minnesota to visit other family members, but we were flexible with our time and would take side jaunts when we came upon a site that looked interesting. Perhaps "Headed" could do this on a rotating basis with his grandchildren. -- KAY F. BEHIND THE WHEEL

DEAR ABBY: As a minister, I have advised women like "Headed's" wife. I said, "Eventually one of you will get sick. If it's him, you may spend years caring for him, regretting that you never took the trip. And if you're the one whose health fails, he will put you in a nursing home and take the trip!" Most of them relented, took the trip and enjoyed it. One couple lived another 15 years and told me repeatedly they appreciated my advice. -- REV. JIM IN PHOENIX