DEAR ABBY: My fiance is in a group chat with a dozen of his friends. They are all professional men in their 30s with families. They regularly send each other pornographic images. This includes the group "icon," which appears to be a solicited picture of a woman's behind with the group name written on it with permanent marker. My fiance claims the image is "photoshopped" and that he doesn't look at the pictures. This disturbs me.

I think my fiance should tell his friends not to send these images and to change the group icon. My fiance disagrees. He says it hurts no one and it's OK to do in a private chat. I don't think it's so private since this is on the phones they use in public and it's in a group chat. It also hurts women by distilling their worth to looks.

Hasn't the #MeToo movement and ongoing shift in our culture shown it is sometimes men's responsibility to end this "boys' club" culture? I want my fiance to talk to his friends since they all live apart, but I want to convince him he should take a stand against this degrading attitude toward women's images. -- TIRED OF BEHINDS

DEAR TIRED: Your fiance is not going to change his friends' behavior by doing what you are pushing him to do. I have it on good authority that this is not uncommon behavior among "guys" these days, the equivalent of old-time barber shop talk, reading men's magazines and looking at Playmate calendars -- all of which have been transported to the digital platform. The members of the chat may talk about sports, cars and tech gadgets as well as about women -- typical things men discuss when they're together. Unless they are using their phones to solicit extracurricular sex, I don't think you should be censoring their use of them.

DEAR ABBY: Our 25-year-old granddaughter is engaged to be married to another woman very soon. Her parents told us she is gay a few years ago. She's very independent and will soon have her medical degree. She has been away at college. When she's home she visits us, but we have never been able to talk about it with her.

She knows we don't condone something we believe is wrong. We are torn between going along or continuing to ignore the issue. Can you help? -- NOT IN FAVOR IN KENTUCKY

DEAR NOT IN FAVOR: If you feel you can change your granddaughter's sexual orientation by telling her you disapprove of her being gay, forget it. It won't work and may drive a permanent wedge between you. It might be helpful if you talk to her and let her explain that her sexual orientation isn't something she "chose" -- it's part of who she is: an intelligent, caring, accomplished individual who is dedicating her life to helping others. While it may be hard for you, keep an open mind and listen to what she has to say.

DEAR ABBY: The wife of "Headed for the Open Road" (June 25) will never forgive herself if she doesn't accompany her newly retired husband on his open-road adventures. After working for 40 years and retiring from my third job, my life partner and I went everywhere and did everything together. Three and a half months after my retirement, he passed away suddenly.

I would never have forgiven myself if I hadn't experienced our frozen Jeep in Yellowstone or the eerie silence on the edge of the Hoh Rain Forest in western Washington state. That wife needs to get off her duff and have the adventures of a lifetime -- unless, of course, she doesn't want to get closer to her husband. That would be a shame. -- RICK T. IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RICK: Thanks for writing and sharing your experiences. Many other passionate travelers responded, offering guidance to "Headed" in making his dreams of adventure a reality. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Maybe the problem is the idea of a road trip, not the notion of travel. Perhaps he should suggest they go on a cruise or vacation in a nice resort somewhere. She might warm up more to travel if it sounded like a vacation rather than a long drive. And cruises are great -- no daily packing/unpacking, opportunities to "dress up" (if you want), dancing, nightly entertainment, moonlit walks, not to mention days in exotic ports around the world. By the way, my husband and I -- retirees in our 70s -- have just returned from a five-week road trip in France. Far more appealing than seeing Mt. Rushmore again! -- TRAVELER, WITH A CAPITAL "T"

DEAR ABBY: The husband could rent an RV to travel. His wife doesn't want to be cooped up, and an RV would have a living room, couch, TV/DVD, an onboard toilet, separate bedroom and a small kitchen. In other words, it would be like she's still at home, only moving. The couple could even arrange other transportation at their destinations. -- TOM Z. IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were married 10 years when we discussed the destinations on our travel bucket lists. Mine included a road trip to Utah to see the canyons; he wanted a cruise to the war memorials in Hawaii. Neither of us was interested in the other's trip, so he took his adult daughter on the cruise, and three girlfriends and I took the road trip. We both had wonderful times, took tons of photos to share, and came back with lots to talk about. My motto is, don't put off something you really want to do. -- CLAIRE G. OUT WEST

DEAR ABBY: Maybe they could take shorter trips if her objection is the car travel. Or they could fly to a destination, rent a car and see the sights. They could even take a train trip across the country. That wife should be grateful they are both physically able to travel and spend precious time together. -- WISH I COULD IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: My oldest grandson was my traveling companion. When he was 5, we took a long bus trip, and the other times I drove. He was a better traveler than I was. We had marvelous adventures and built wonderful memories. These usually were trips from California to Montana, North Dakota or Minnesota to visit other family members, but we were flexible with our time and would take side jaunts when we came upon a site that looked interesting. Perhaps "Headed" could do this on a rotating basis with his grandchildren. -- KAY F. BEHIND THE WHEEL

DEAR ABBY: As a minister, I have advised women like "Headed's" wife. I said, "Eventually one of you will get sick. If it's him, you may spend years caring for him, regretting that you never took the trip. And if you're the one whose health fails, he will put you in a nursing home and take the trip!" Most of them relented, took the trip and enjoyed it. One couple lived another 15 years and told me repeatedly they appreciated my advice. -- REV. JIM IN PHOENIX

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a very special man who is five years younger. We met on an online dating site and have been seeing each other for several years. We are well suited for each other and very much in love. We have now decided to live together, with the possibility of marriage if it won't jeopardize our retirement incomes.

My dilemma is I have breast implants. I had the surgery 20 years ago when I was newly widowed and about to start dating again. I never told any of the men I dated, and I don't believe anyone suspected. My breasts look and feel natural and they have enhanced my love life tremendously.

Now that this relationship is serious, I wonder if I need to tell my guy. If he leaves after I tell him, then I guess he wasn't The One. I'd prefer not to say anything. I've had the implants so long, I feel they are part of me, not something foreign in my body. I am afraid he may have an altered opinion of my body after I tell him. Please advise. -- OLD, BUT NOT DEAD

DEAR O.B.N.D.: If you really believe he'd leave you after several years together because you told him you have breast implants, then he really isn't the man for you. I think you should level with him, because if one of the implants should need an "adjustment" or replacement, he will find out then and may resent the fact that you hadn't told him. If you two are happy together -- and it appears you are -- I seriously doubt it will create a wedge between you. Telling him would be better than feeling guilty that you didn't.

DEAR ABBY: I was at a sold-out performance recently, seated next to a family with two young daughters. The youngest daughter had on LED light-up shoes that would flash and blink whenever she stomped her feet.

She quietly watched the first half of the show, but got restless during the second half and began stomping her feet to watch the lights, which was extremely distracting in the dark venue. I gently asked if she would please stop and thanked her when she obliged, just as I would have done if she were my own daughter.

A few minutes later, the family got up and left. On the way out, her father said to me, "About my daughter's shoes? She's (expletive) 4!" in a tone that suggested I should have kept quiet and let her continue doing it. Was I wrong to ask her to stop? The show began at 9:15 p.m. and, while not inappropriate, wasn't geared toward entertaining kids. I'm not surprised she got bored, but her light-up shoes were ruining my experience, and her parents were doing nothing about it. How could I have handled the situation better? -- DISTRACTED IN THE EAST

DEAR DISTRACTED: You did nothing wrong. You couldn't have handled the situation better than you did. The child's father was out of line for using vulgarity, which was uncalled for. Rather than leave the performance, all the parents had to do was keep reinforcing the idea of being considerate to the other audience members -- a lesson that would serve their daughter well in the future.