DEAR ABBY: I am a child care provider working with infants. Two of us work in the nursery and share responsibilities.

One baby has become extremely attached to me, to the point that I can't take a break or go to lunch without him screaming until I return. I feel guilty taking lunch breaks or even a vacation because I know that whoever substitutes for me will have to deal with the crying.

Other teachers have tried to bond with him to make it easier on everyone, but it doesn't work. It has reached the point that I'm exhausted at the end of the day from the stress of having to be near him all day. Any suggestions? -- MOTHERING IN MISSOURI

DEAR MOTHERING: Yes. You are a caring person who is doing more than your share of trying to make the baby feel secure, so stop feeling guilty. I consulted Faisal Chawla, M.D., a pediatrician in Los Angeles, who explained that separation anxiety normally occurs at around 6 to 9 months, so age may be a factor. The baby may be experiencing separation anxiety from you as others might get it when a parent drops them off at day care. It should not cause you distress since this is expected behavior.

Dr. Chawla kindly offered suggestions for coping with separation anxiety:

Establish a goodbye ritual/routine that's consistent and quick. Comfort the infant and let him/her know you will be back after your break (just as parents would tell their little one they will be back after work). Some parents do a peek-a-boo ritual, which can reduce crying goodbyes to ones with much less drama.

Leave after you say your goodbye and don't come back repeatedly. Coming back is positive reinforcement for the crying ("If I cry harder, they will come back!").

DEAR ABBY: My husband had an annoying habit of staring at me. After dinner, if I went into the kitchen while he was still at the dinner table, he would turn his chair around to stare at me. When he walked into a room I was in, he would stop and stare at me.

When I finally got sick of it and told him to cut it out, his response was, "Can't you stand scrutiny?" I said it has nothing to do with scrutiny. It's a form of trying to control me, or even mental abuse.

He has stopped it for the most part. But he reverts back every once in a while. I still have to mention it at times. What do you think of this? What do you think it means? -- ANNOYED IN THE EAST

DEAR ANNOYED: Unless you have left something out of your letter, I don't consider what he was doing to be emotional abuse. Until you spoke up, he may not have realized he was making you uncomfortable.

What I think it means is that your husband thinks you are the most beautiful woman in the world, and he's the luckiest man on the planet. Now he knows it makes you uncomfortable, he's making an effort to stop, but old habits are hard to break and he occasionally backslides.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 38 years. We both had long professional careers and saved diligently for our retirement. Our children are on their own and doing well with their careers.

My husband retired six years ago. His daily routine is visiting his mother (every day) in an assisted living facility. It is an expensive place, and they take great care of her. I have just retired. I waited to do it until I was 67, thinking we could start to travel (not move).

My husband has now informed me he doesn't want to go on any two- to three-week vacations because of his mother. He says he needs to see her every day. Abby, the woman is 98 and going strong! There's nothing wrong with her except for some forgetfulness.

I don't understand why he feels he "needs" to see her every day. When I try to question him, he gets angry and upset. He makes me feel like I'm the mean one. This is ruining our marriage. I'm not sure what I can do (if anything) to fix it. Help! -- RANKED SECOND IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR RANKED SECOND: When a man marries, his wife is supposed to take precedence over his mother. However, because your husband "needs" to do this, you cannot be perceived as standing in his way, which will cause further resentment. His motive may be devotion. It could also be a feeling he could have been a better son in years past.

I find it hard to believe no one else could check in on your mother-in-law for the two weeks your husband would be away. (It could be one of your children, a sibling, another relative or a trusted friend.)

Rather than allow this to affect your marriage, why not consider creating a Plan B? Schedule some trips for yourself. While you're away, send him lovely postcards with upbeat messages from the places you visit. When you get back, if he mentions he missed you, assure him you missed him too, but you understand right now his mother is his first priority.

Then tell him that while no one has a contract with God, "with luck" the two of you will have some nice trips together after "Mom" is gone. Provided, of course, that he still wants to travel after her death.

DEAR ABBY: What's the deal with adolescent girls and young women wearing extremely tight and form-fitting yoga/workout pants? Last week, while I was leaving a smoothie shop, I held the door open for a young lady whose pants were so tight I could easily see the outline of her private area.

Yesterday, while I was waiting for my drink at a coffee place, a girl in her early teens walked in wearing similar attire. She was with her dad. In this situation I blame him. No father should allow his daughter to wear an outfit in public that leaves nothing to the imagination. These kinds of pants are designed for the gym, and that should be it. Your opinion? -- CONSERVATIVE GUY IN FLORIDA

DEAR GUY: Obscenity is in the eye of the beholder. While it's possible these young women had just left their workout or yoga lesson, it's more likely they simply find the pants comfortable to wear. My opinion is you should direct your gaze above the beltline, Prince Charming. If their outfits were "indecent," they wouldn't have been allowed inside the businesses.

DEAR ABBY: When I was dating my husband, I gave him a lot of leeway. When he told me he listened to a radio show that is known for unscientific views, I ignored it because I found him so charming and kind. Honestly, he treats me better than anyone I've ever known, and I had been in the dating scene for 27 years. During our three-year courtship I always avoided the topics of science and politics.

We have been married two years now, and I'm trying hard to reconcile the fact that I'm married to a conspiracy theorist who believes the world is flat. He's convinced that fluoride is mass brainwashing and the Holocaust was faked. It makes me so sad. I knew on some level that he believed these things, but I chose to overlook it.

Other than his irrational beliefs, we are compatible and happy. My question is, can a relationship survive and thrive in the midst of these fundamental differences? -- KNOWS BETTER IN KANSAS

DEAR KNOWS BETTER: You say you are compatible and happy in every other respect. Yes, your marriage can survive -- if you practice the same selective amnesia you chose to adopt when your husband was courting you, and focus solely on the areas in which you are in sync.

DEAR ABBY: Can you please advise me about what to do about a mother who has gone overboard with church donations? She drained my parents' savings and gave her old church $20,000. She complains to Dad that they can't afford to go out to dinner once a week, but she's doing this?

What can I say to her? I get that it says in the Bible you're supposed to tithe, but my folks are on a budget, and they are in danger of losing their home because of this. Twenty thousand dollars is close to 30 percent of their combined pretax income, and that's not even taking into account what she's giving to the church she currently attends. Help! -- OVERBOARD IN NEVADA

DEAR OVERBOARD: You can't handle this problem alone. Your father will have to become proactive about what your mother has been doing. This may involve him talking to an attorney about what would be involved with separating his earnings from your mother's.

That said, is it possible that your mother is "forgetting" she has already made some of these donations, or why they can no longer go out to dinner once a week? If that's the case, it's important she be evaluated medically and neurologically to be sure she is still of sound body and mind.

DEAR ABBY: Would it be rude to announce my wife's pregnancy before her sister's wedding next week? Do I need to wait until afterward, or is good news always welcome? -- GOOD NEWS IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR GOOD NEWS: In the interest of family harmony, I urge you to refrain from doing it. While good news is always welcome, this news should wait until after the wedding. If you make the announcement now, your sister-in-law might regard it as stealing the limelight from the bride.