DEAR ABBY: Our son and his fiancee are having a destination wedding. My husband and I are hosting a local reception here where we live because we would like our close family and friends to be able to celebrate their wedding.
Our problem is, our 24-year-old daughter is an alcoholic who doesn't see her drinking as a problem. She says she can handle it. Well, she can't! She got so drunk at the last family wedding that the police and paramedics had to be called. She's currently on probation because she assaulted a paramedic.
The only way she could go to the destination wedding is if we paid for it, which my husband and I agreed not to do. My husband does want to include her at the party we are having in our city. Because she is uncontrollable and unpredictable, I do not want her there. Oh, and this is the same venue where she got hammered at the last family wedding.
I don't want to take the chance that she will ruin this special evening. My husband thinks he will be able to control her and that it won't "look right" if the sister of the groom is absent. I think it would be much worse if she causes a scene, and I would rather avoid a potential disaster. What should we do? -- MOTHER OF THE GROOM
DEAR MOTHER: Your daughter is an addict in denial, which is sad for all concerned. Because her behavior is unpredictable, and there is a strong possibility that she will disrupt the reception, she should not attend. If your husband is worried about how it will look if she isn't there, he should consider how it will look if the police have to be called and haul her away (again). What your daughter needs is an intervention, not an invitation.