DEAR ABBY: I am a 64-year-old widow who lost my husband 5 1/2 years ago. I became reacquainted with a former classmate at a high school reunion, and we started dating. He makes me laugh, takes me to dinner and movies, and we have a great time together.
One night, I let him stay over because he was going to go to church with me the next morning. He lives 45 minutes away. My son drove by (intentionally), saw his car and confronted us at church in front of people. He walked up to my friend and said, "Well, how did you enjoy your sleepover at my mother's house last night?" This was the first time they had ever met!
Their bitterness toward each other has escalated, and now my son has given me an ultimatum: Choose between his family or my friend. He has my only grandchildren.
I am so depressed, I don't know what to do. I don't want my son dictating my life, but I want to see my grandchildren. They truly are the most important people in my life. I could break up with my friend, but then my son would think he won. Any thoughts? -- SO, SO SAD
DEAR SAD: You are all adults. Your son was a mile out of line to do what he did. Why would he be patrolling your home? Personally, I think what he did was a little sick.
This is not a question of winning or losing. For your own sake, you must not allow him to tell you how to conduct your personal life. I would recommend family therapy for all of you if your self-righteous son would agree. But if he won't, my advice to you is to live your own life.