life

Love of Fast Food Slows Man's Effort to Lose Weight

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 1st, 2018 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband has become very overweight, which has caused his sex drive -- as well as his health -- to suffer. I worry about him constantly, and I miss the intimacy we used to have. He is aware of how I feel and started trying to eat healthier. He also tries to exercise at least a little bit every day.

The problem is he constantly falls off the wagon. Sometimes he says he's too tired to exercise, or he reverts back to his old habits and ends up eating fast food. He always tries again the next day, but he won't make much progress at the rate he's going.

I don't want to nag him to death, but I do want him around for a long time. What can I say that will make him take this more seriously? -- ALL ABOUT HEALTH IN ALABAMA

DEAR ALL ABOUT HEALTH: Tell your husband how much you love him, and that you're afraid "until death do us part" will happen prematurely if he continues killing himself with his fork and his sedentary ways. You might also recite the names of the various diseases that accompany obesity in most people.

But if your husband's doctor hasn't been able to get the message through to him, there isn't much more you can do besides love him for the wonderful husband he is and keep your fingers crossed. I say this because the only person who can "make" your husband commit to a diet and exercise program is himself, with the recognition that changing his unhealthy patterns probably won't be easy and WILL take time.

Marriage & DivorceHealth & SafetySex & Gender
life

Drama Ensues When Granddad Objects to Trash Left in His Car

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 1st, 2018 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Recently, my wife took two of our granddaughters (ages 9 and 15) and a friend (age 15) to the movies. As usual, the next day I found trash had been left in the car, which triggered the following text exchange.

I sent both granddaughters a picture of a garbage can and my car and asked: "Please advise which one is used to throw away trash? If you need help, ask your mom. I'm not accusing anyone of anything. Also, if one of your friends was to throw trash on your Poppy's car floor, what should you do? Would you ask them to pick it up -- yes or no?"

The only response I received was from their mom, who said, "'Amber' (granddaughter) did not leave trash in your car!" Things have gone downhill from there.

I replied that I expected an answer to my questions, and that I hadn't accused anybody of anything. You would think I had shot someone! Many tears have been shed, and my wife has threatened to divorce me for standing my ground. We have agreed to have you settle this. What say you? -- TALKING TRASH IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR TALKING TRASH: You are the injured party. You did nothing wrong. You are owed an apology from all concerned -- the kid who left the trash in your car, and your wife and daughter for overreacting.

Family & Parenting
life

Sister Douses Fourth of July Fun by Refusing to Celebrate

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | July 1st, 2018 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My older sister was born on July 4. She's now in her 60s and refuses to celebrate the holiday. She also doesn't want the immediate family to celebrate it either. We have tried to be supportive in years past, but we miss having our Fourth of July holiday. What do you suggest? -- WANTS TO CELEBRATE

DEAR WANTS TO CELEBRATE: I suggest that before July 4, you declare your independence by asking your older sister what other day she would like to celebrate her birthday. Then celebrate the Fourth of July as you would like -- without her.

Holidays & CelebrationsFamily & Parenting
life

Sisters Working the Streets Reach Out to Find an Escape

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 30th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm 19 and my sister is 16. We have been working as prostitutes here in our state and in several nearby ones. We know we need help, but we are afraid to ask for it. Hotlines and trafficking programs have called the police on friends of ours who reached out for help. How can we get help without being forced to testify against my boyfriend and our other friends? -- TERI

DEAR TERI: I'm glad you wrote because there is help for you. Contact an organization called Children of the Night. It has helped thousands of young people like you and your sister. Its toll-free phone number is (800) 551-1300, ext. 0, and it is staffed 24/7.

Children of the Night is privately funded and does not call the police on sex-trafficking victims. Once away from "the life," you and your sister will be able to study for your high school diploma online by emailing wow@childrenofthenight.org. If you would like more information, please visit www.childrenofthenight.org and see for yourself. I wish you luck and an easy escape from "the life." You and your sister are in my thoughts and prayers.

TeensHealth & Safety
life

Plan to Live With Boyfriend Hits a Snag Over Paying the Rent

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 30th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma, and I need to know who's right. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years wants me to move into his apartment, but he says I can't live there for free. He wants me to pay half the rent, cable, water and electric bills. I'm OK with the cable, water and electric. But I say the rent is the same whether I'm there or not, and I don't think I should have to pay rent on HIS place. It would be different if we were married. What do you think? Who's right? -- MAYBE MOVING IN

DEAR MAYBE: You are an independent young woman living in the 21st century, and as such, you should carry your share. That the two of you are not married is even more reason why you should share the cost of the rent.

What your question shows me is, if the relationship evolves further and you consider making it permanent, that premarital counseling could help you and your boyfriend avoid some pitfalls later. Disagreements about money often cause marriages to fail.

Love & DatingMoney
life

Sister Says Being Fashionably Late to a Party Is Never in Style

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 30th, 2018 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My sister says it's rude to arrive at a party at the time specified on the invitation. She insists that if the time stated is 8 p.m., you shouldn't arrive before 8:30. I disagree, and I told her I believe that guests should arrive on time and to be late is disrespectful. Her response was that I am behind the times. Please let me know who is correct. -- ON TIME IN FLORIDA

DEAR ON TIME: Depending upon the type of party it is, there is leeway. If it's a cocktail party, guests who prefer not to stand around drinking for hours may choose to arrive late. However, if it's a dinner party, the guests should show up promptly so the meal can be served when it's ready. Sometimes a guest may be 15 or 20 minutes late because of unforeseen circumstances, but if someone is delayed for more than that, the host should be called and warned so the dinner can proceed without being ruined.

Etiquette & EthicsHolidays & Celebrations
life

Freshman's Plans for College Include Breast Enhancement

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 29th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My wife's niece, a high school senior, is a beautiful girl with an excellent, well-proportioned figure. Like many girls her age, she's narcissistic and obsessed with her looks, and constantly posting pictures of herself on social media.

She's off to college in a few months, and "in order to ensure she's attractive to boys," wants to get a boob job. She works in a clothing store and has saved toward the cost.

Her mother and aunt are supportive and willing to help her pay for it. Their logic is, they both had boob jobs. However, they had theirs done well into their 40s, after their children were born and as clear-thinking adults. I feel being supportive of an 18-year-old making such a major decision for what I think is the wrong reason is irresponsible parenting.

I know it's absolutely none of my business, and I won't say a word, but I wonder what your commonsense opinion is. They do read your column. -- RATIONAL UNCLE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNCLE: I agree with you that getting breast enhancement surgery to be more attractive to boys is doing it for the wrong reason. But my "commonsense" opinion is that if the cosmetic surgery is approved by the girl's mother and aunt, for your own safety, you should stay out of the minefield.

TeensWork & SchoolFamily & ParentingMoney
life

Baby Shower Would Benefit Soon-to-Be Single Dad

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 29th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My 23-year-old son, "John," got his girlfriend, "Jane," pregnant. Everyone seemed to be happy -- I know I was -- even though they were not going to get married.

Well, they had a big fight and Jane moved out. They say their relationship is over and irreparable. I want to have a baby shower for my son because he is going to need stuff at his house, too. Jane does not want to attend. Can I have a baby shower for my son? -- GRANDMA IN WAITING

DEAR GRANDMA: Under the circumstances, a shower for your son would be appropriate for the reason you stated in your letter. Jane's absence should not prevent there from being one. However, I hope with time the drama will subside, and Jane will realize children need both parents present in their lives and will be able to successfully co-parent with your son.

Family & ParentingEtiquette & Ethics
life

Telephone Scam Threatens Legal Action

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 29th, 2018 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Over the past few months, my husband and I have been getting phone calls claiming we have been charged with a crime and face dire consequences if we don't return the call immediately. As a recent law enforcement retiree, my husband knows these calls are bogus.

Please remind your readers no one is ever informed of legitimate legal action against them by a pre-recorded phone call. This includes the IRS. Notice of legitimate action is sent through the postal service or personally delivered by a court-designated representative, usually the police. I don't want any of your readers, especially retirees, to fall victim to this scam. -- RETIREES, WATCH OUT!

DEAR READERS: If you haven't heard or read about this kind of scam -- which can be very scary -- please share this item with friends and relatives. I received one of these messages about six months ago, and one of my staff members got one a few days ago. Do not engage with these con artists. If you happen to pick up the phone, say nothing and just hang up.

Money

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