life

Sisters Working the Streets Reach Out to Find an Escape

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 30th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm 19 and my sister is 16. We have been working as prostitutes here in our state and in several nearby ones. We know we need help, but we are afraid to ask for it. Hotlines and trafficking programs have called the police on friends of ours who reached out for help. How can we get help without being forced to testify against my boyfriend and our other friends? -- TERI

DEAR TERI: I'm glad you wrote because there is help for you. Contact an organization called Children of the Night. It has helped thousands of young people like you and your sister. Its toll-free phone number is (800) 551-1300, ext. 0, and it is staffed 24/7.

Children of the Night is privately funded and does not call the police on sex-trafficking victims. Once away from "the life," you and your sister will be able to study for your high school diploma online by emailing wow@childrenofthenight.org. If you would like more information, please visit www.childrenofthenight.org and see for yourself. I wish you luck and an easy escape from "the life." You and your sister are in my thoughts and prayers.

TeensHealth & Safety
life

Plan to Live With Boyfriend Hits a Snag Over Paying the Rent

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 30th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma, and I need to know who's right. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years wants me to move into his apartment, but he says I can't live there for free. He wants me to pay half the rent, cable, water and electric bills. I'm OK with the cable, water and electric. But I say the rent is the same whether I'm there or not, and I don't think I should have to pay rent on HIS place. It would be different if we were married. What do you think? Who's right? -- MAYBE MOVING IN

DEAR MAYBE: You are an independent young woman living in the 21st century, and as such, you should carry your share. That the two of you are not married is even more reason why you should share the cost of the rent.

What your question shows me is, if the relationship evolves further and you consider making it permanent, that premarital counseling could help you and your boyfriend avoid some pitfalls later. Disagreements about money often cause marriages to fail.

Love & DatingMoney
life

Sister Says Being Fashionably Late to a Party Is Never in Style

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 30th, 2018 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My sister says it's rude to arrive at a party at the time specified on the invitation. She insists that if the time stated is 8 p.m., you shouldn't arrive before 8:30. I disagree, and I told her I believe that guests should arrive on time and to be late is disrespectful. Her response was that I am behind the times. Please let me know who is correct. -- ON TIME IN FLORIDA

DEAR ON TIME: Depending upon the type of party it is, there is leeway. If it's a cocktail party, guests who prefer not to stand around drinking for hours may choose to arrive late. However, if it's a dinner party, the guests should show up promptly so the meal can be served when it's ready. Sometimes a guest may be 15 or 20 minutes late because of unforeseen circumstances, but if someone is delayed for more than that, the host should be called and warned so the dinner can proceed without being ruined.

Etiquette & EthicsHolidays & Celebrations
life

Freshman's Plans for College Include Breast Enhancement

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 29th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My wife's niece, a high school senior, is a beautiful girl with an excellent, well-proportioned figure. Like many girls her age, she's narcissistic and obsessed with her looks, and constantly posting pictures of herself on social media.

She's off to college in a few months, and "in order to ensure she's attractive to boys," wants to get a boob job. She works in a clothing store and has saved toward the cost.

Her mother and aunt are supportive and willing to help her pay for it. Their logic is, they both had boob jobs. However, they had theirs done well into their 40s, after their children were born and as clear-thinking adults. I feel being supportive of an 18-year-old making such a major decision for what I think is the wrong reason is irresponsible parenting.

I know it's absolutely none of my business, and I won't say a word, but I wonder what your commonsense opinion is. They do read your column. -- RATIONAL UNCLE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNCLE: I agree with you that getting breast enhancement surgery to be more attractive to boys is doing it for the wrong reason. But my "commonsense" opinion is that if the cosmetic surgery is approved by the girl's mother and aunt, for your own safety, you should stay out of the minefield.

TeensWork & SchoolFamily & ParentingMoney
life

Baby Shower Would Benefit Soon-to-Be Single Dad

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 29th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My 23-year-old son, "John," got his girlfriend, "Jane," pregnant. Everyone seemed to be happy -- I know I was -- even though they were not going to get married.

Well, they had a big fight and Jane moved out. They say their relationship is over and irreparable. I want to have a baby shower for my son because he is going to need stuff at his house, too. Jane does not want to attend. Can I have a baby shower for my son? -- GRANDMA IN WAITING

DEAR GRANDMA: Under the circumstances, a shower for your son would be appropriate for the reason you stated in your letter. Jane's absence should not prevent there from being one. However, I hope with time the drama will subside, and Jane will realize children need both parents present in their lives and will be able to successfully co-parent with your son.

Family & ParentingEtiquette & Ethics
life

Telephone Scam Threatens Legal Action

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 29th, 2018 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Over the past few months, my husband and I have been getting phone calls claiming we have been charged with a crime and face dire consequences if we don't return the call immediately. As a recent law enforcement retiree, my husband knows these calls are bogus.

Please remind your readers no one is ever informed of legitimate legal action against them by a pre-recorded phone call. This includes the IRS. Notice of legitimate action is sent through the postal service or personally delivered by a court-designated representative, usually the police. I don't want any of your readers, especially retirees, to fall victim to this scam. -- RETIREES, WATCH OUT!

DEAR READERS: If you haven't heard or read about this kind of scam -- which can be very scary -- please share this item with friends and relatives. I received one of these messages about six months ago, and one of my staff members got one a few days ago. Do not engage with these con artists. If you happen to pick up the phone, say nothing and just hang up.

Money
life

Divorced Dad Vows to Boycott Any Events That Include His Ex

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 28th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My parents went through a bitter divorce five years ago and have had little to no contact since then. During the process of the divorce, their communication was through my siblings and me, which took a toll on us. However, despite the turmoil of the divorce, we are still close to both of them.

I'm a medical student who will be graduating next year. I recently brought up the idea of having a graduation party, but my father says he refuses to come if Mom or anyone from her side of the family will be there. This led to a discussion about future weddings and events that will most likely happen soon.

My siblings and I are in our mid- to late-20s, and Dad insists that he won't attend any future events that Mom will attend, even if it's his own child's wedding. It was extremely difficult to hear.

My siblings and I can't imagine him boycotting something just because he doesn't want to be in the presence of our mother. We all think he's overreacting and needs to get over the past. Must we get over the fact that he doesn't want to be around our mother and allow him to skip these important days? -- CHILD OF DIVORCE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CHILD: Your father may be angry, but he is also being selfish and childish. By telling you what he did, he's attempting to manipulate you into choosing between him and your mother.

By asking me whether you should "allow" him to skip these important milestones, you appear to be under the impression that you can somehow control your father. You cannot control the actions of another adult. You can, however, control the way you react to his behavior.

You and your siblings should not allow yourselves to be manipulated. "Remind" your father that if he follows through with his threat, he will be missed, and the only person he'll be hurting is himself.

Marriage & DivorceFamily & ParentingHolidays & Celebrations
life

Friends Fall Out Over Swimming Pool Wardrobe

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 28th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My best friend from college recently had a baby. I had planned a trip to visit her, and during my visit, she said, we would visit the local pool. A week before I was set to leave, she notified me that I would have to wear a T-shirt over my bathing suit at all times because my "fit body" would make her neighbors who have "mom bodies" uncomfortable, and she doesn't want to upset them.

I was shocked and offended for women of all sizes. I responded that I would never be uncomfortable with anyone's mom body or ask them to cover up, and I won't wear a T-shirt. My bathing suit is not skimpy and would not be considered revealing by any standards. She responded that if I have a problem with it, I should just not come. Help! -- SHOCKED AND OFFENDED

DEAR SHOCKED AND OFFENDED: Be neither shocked nor offended. I agree that no one should have to cover their bodies. I suspect your best friend from college is not happy with her post-baby body right now and wants to avoid comparisons. Tell her you understand, and try to reschedule a visit during ski season.

Friends & Neighbors

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