DEAR ABBY: My wife's niece, a high school senior, is a beautiful girl with an excellent, well-proportioned figure. Like many girls her age, she's narcissistic and obsessed with her looks, and constantly posting pictures of herself on social media.

She's off to college in a few months, and "in order to ensure she's attractive to boys," wants to get a boob job. She works in a clothing store and has saved toward the cost.

Her mother and aunt are supportive and willing to help her pay for it. Their logic is, they both had boob jobs. However, they had theirs done well into their 40s, after their children were born and as clear-thinking adults. I feel being supportive of an 18-year-old making such a major decision for what I think is the wrong reason is irresponsible parenting.

I know it's absolutely none of my business, and I won't say a word, but I wonder what your commonsense opinion is. They do read your column. -- RATIONAL UNCLE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNCLE: I agree with you that getting breast enhancement surgery to be more attractive to boys is doing it for the wrong reason. But my "commonsense" opinion is that if the cosmetic surgery is approved by the girl's mother and aunt, for your own safety, you should stay out of the minefield.

DEAR ABBY: My 23-year-old son, "John," got his girlfriend, "Jane," pregnant. Everyone seemed to be happy -- I know I was -- even though they were not going to get married.

Well, they had a big fight and Jane moved out. They say their relationship is over and irreparable. I want to have a baby shower for my son because he is going to need stuff at his house, too. Jane does not want to attend. Can I have a baby shower for my son? -- GRANDMA IN WAITING

DEAR GRANDMA: Under the circumstances, a shower for your son would be appropriate for the reason you stated in your letter. Jane's absence should not prevent there from being one. However, I hope with time the drama will subside, and Jane will realize children need both parents present in their lives and will be able to successfully co-parent with your son.

DEAR ABBY: Over the past few months, my husband and I have been getting phone calls claiming we have been charged with a crime and face dire consequences if we don't return the call immediately. As a recent law enforcement retiree, my husband knows these calls are bogus.

Please remind your readers no one is ever informed of legitimate legal action against them by a pre-recorded phone call. This includes the IRS. Notice of legitimate action is sent through the postal service or personally delivered by a court-designated representative, usually the police. I don't want any of your readers, especially retirees, to fall victim to this scam. -- RETIREES, WATCH OUT!

DEAR READERS: If you haven't heard or read about this kind of scam -- which can be very scary -- please share this item with friends and relatives. I received one of these messages about six months ago, and one of my staff members got one a few days ago. Do not engage with these con artists. If you happen to pick up the phone, say nothing and just hang up.

DEAR ABBY: My parents went through a bitter divorce five years ago and have had little to no contact since then. During the process of the divorce, their communication was through my siblings and me, which took a toll on us. However, despite the turmoil of the divorce, we are still close to both of them.

I'm a medical student who will be graduating next year. I recently brought up the idea of having a graduation party, but my father says he refuses to come if Mom or anyone from her side of the family will be there. This led to a discussion about future weddings and events that will most likely happen soon.

My siblings and I are in our mid- to late-20s, and Dad insists that he won't attend any future events that Mom will attend, even if it's his own child's wedding. It was extremely difficult to hear.

My siblings and I can't imagine him boycotting something just because he doesn't want to be in the presence of our mother. We all think he's overreacting and needs to get over the past. Must we get over the fact that he doesn't want to be around our mother and allow him to skip these important days? -- CHILD OF DIVORCE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR CHILD: Your father may be angry, but he is also being selfish and childish. By telling you what he did, he's attempting to manipulate you into choosing between him and your mother.

By asking me whether you should "allow" him to skip these important milestones, you appear to be under the impression that you can somehow control your father. You cannot control the actions of another adult. You can, however, control the way you react to his behavior.

You and your siblings should not allow yourselves to be manipulated. "Remind" your father that if he follows through with his threat, he will be missed, and the only person he'll be hurting is himself.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend from college recently had a baby. I had planned a trip to visit her, and during my visit, she said, we would visit the local pool. A week before I was set to leave, she notified me that I would have to wear a T-shirt over my bathing suit at all times because my "fit body" would make her neighbors who have "mom bodies" uncomfortable, and she doesn't want to upset them.

I was shocked and offended for women of all sizes. I responded that I would never be uncomfortable with anyone's mom body or ask them to cover up, and I won't wear a T-shirt. My bathing suit is not skimpy and would not be considered revealing by any standards. She responded that if I have a problem with it, I should just not come. Help! -- SHOCKED AND OFFENDED

DEAR SHOCKED AND OFFENDED: Be neither shocked nor offended. I agree that no one should have to cover their bodies. I suspect your best friend from college is not happy with her post-baby body right now and wants to avoid comparisons. Tell her you understand, and try to reschedule a visit during ski season.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Oscar" for more than 30 years. He has been inattentive for more than 25 of those years. Over the last 15 years, I have found erectile dysfunction medications in his vehicles. Oscar claims he knows nothing about them. He lies constantly, even when the evidence is right in front of him. When I ask him if he is seeing other women, he claims to be impotent and tells me I am crazy.

I had an affair at 55 to try to raise my self-esteem. I once was very beautiful and even now, at age 68, I look quite good. I have stayed with my husband out of habit in spite of his hurtful comments and lack of affection.

Oscar has told me that if I need affection, "go get a job in a whorehouse." I have had three back surgeries in less than a year, and when I cry with pain, he gets annoyed and tells me to cut it out.

He's a narcissist and not much to look at. He goes out of his way to please strangers to make himself look good, but when I need a hand, I'm a "b----," and my husband doesn't lift a finger. Advice, please! -- UNHAPPY IN NEW YORK

DEAR UNHAPPY: You have put up with this for how long? Your relationship with this man (I hesitate to call him a "husband") is clearly loveless. Instead of asking me for advice, look within and ask yourself, "Is this really the way I want to spend the rest of my life?" When the chips are down and you need Oscar's help, he not only turns his back but also calls you a b---- for asking.

Because you know he's cheating, hire a private detective for a month and find out who with. Then talk to a lawyer about what your rights are as a wronged wife in New York.

DEAR ABBY: My 35-year-old stepson has moved back into my home so many times I have lost count. I ask only that he keep his bedroom clean, himself clean, help around the house and look for work. He got married last January and was recently escorted to my home by the local police. His new wife had taken out a restraining order against him.

I was unemployed for two years, but recently found a new job. It's a start, but things are tight financially, and my wife had to assume the role of provider, which I dislike immensely. That's why I hate talking to her about this issue with her son.

I have asked -- pleaded -- to no avail, and now have run out of polite ways to tell him to get out. I don't want him to feel unwelcome, but I'm feeling very used. -- FEELING USED

DEAR FEELING USED: Your feelings are accurate. And as much as you might hate it, talk to your wife about what her son is doing. At 35, he should have long been able to find lodgings other than under your roof.

By allowing her son to live (rent-free, I assume) under the conditions you have described, she's enabling it to continue for the foreseeable future. Unless changes are made, it could ruin your marriage. A first step should be to set a date by which her adult son should move out and insist he get help for the issue that led to the restraining order.