DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 2 1/2 years. We have both been married before. I have a son, and he has three daughters. My son is married with two children. He works and is pretty self-sufficient. Two of my husband's daughters live in the same city we do. They are 26 and 28. They don't have cars or driver licenses and live with their mother, who is also car-less.

They often ask us for transportation. While I don't mind doing it once in a while, we are not a taxi service. Occasionally, they'll offer gas money. But my point is, every time the car is started and driven down the street, there is wear and tear on the vehicle. The girls don't step up when it's time to pay repair bills.

This is a constant argument between my husband and me, and I don't know what to do about it. I love my stepdaughters, but in my opinion, they are old enough to be more self-sufficient. Advice, please. -- DESPERATE IN RENO, NEV.

DEAR DESPERATE: You're right; the "girls" are old enough. The solution to your problem lies in helping them become independent. This is what you should discuss with their father. There is a public transportation system in your community, and they should be familiar with it. If for some reason that's not workable, perhaps their father could help them pay for driving lessons and/or a down payment on a used vehicle of their own.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance told me that an old friend of mine whom I am close to has kissed him goodbye on the lips twice now. He said the last time she did it, it made him feel uncomfortable and guilty.

I have never seen her do this to anyone else, and to be honest, I was angry about it when he told me. I am the godmother of her child, and I feel awkward around her now. What should I do? Should I let her come to me, or tell her it has been brought to my attention? -- IN A WEIRD SPOT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WEIRD SPOT: Ideally, your fiance should ask her to stop kissing him on the mouth. However, if he's not up to doing that, tell your old friend your fiance mentioned that the last few times he has seen her, she kissed him on the mouth and it made him uncomfortable. Then tell her that when you heard about it, it made you uncomfortable, so please don't do it again.

DEAR ABBY: I was eating a Greek salad at a restaurant the other night, and I started to wonder about the polite way to eat olives with pits. I typically put the whole thing in my mouth, eat the flesh, then pull the pit out with my fingers and place it on a dish. I started wondering if it was rude to reach into my mouth and spit things out in a restaurant. What is the polite way to eat an olive in public? -- IT'S THE PITS IN NEW YORK

DEAR PITS: According to etiquette experts the Post family, you have done nothing wrong. The key to disposing of an olive pit is to do it discreetly. (Shield the maneuver with your napkin to avoid offending your companion(s) if you're not alone.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman, 34, who has finally met the man I want to spend my life with. He's 31, and his family lives about six hours away. He plans to move his mother here to live in the near future. She doesn't work or drive. She's on state assistance, and her Section 8 isn't enough for her to get an apartment on her own here.

My boyfriend plans to buy a duplex in the next year or so and have her live in the other apartment. This would involve me paying for part of the house because we'll likely be married by then. The problem is, the state won't give us any money for her to live in it, so we'll have to cover all her expenses. On top of that, I'm not comfortable with the lack of privacy.

I have tried bringing this up to him, and although he has been receptive, I haven't been as straightforward as I should have been. I know it's a touchy subject, and I'm not sure how to approach this. I don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid this will affect our lives too much. Help! -- THINGS DON'T LOOK BRIGHT

DEAR THINGS: You admit you haven't been as straightforward as you should have been with your boyfriend. In a case like this, honesty is the best policy. I urge you to start telling him exactly how you feel now, because your concerns are valid. His mother will be depending upon her son -- and you -- for everything when she relocates. If you aren't up to sharing the responsibility -- in addition to the loss of "personal space" -- he needs to know now. And if it spells the end of the romance, so be it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a neighbor who stops by several times a week unannounced and uninvited. What complicates the matter is that he has some form of mental disability. He's in his 20s and lives with his mother a block away from us. We tolerated his presence when he used to stop by only occasionally, but since meeting my 24-year-old daughter who is staying with us, his visits have increased to about five times a week.

When he comes over, he can be very demanding and rude. For example, if someone is sitting in "his seat," he assertively tells them they must get up. Other times he'll interrupt my daughter to tell her to come watch TV with him or sit next to him. In response, she tells him, "No, thank you."

We don't want to be rude, but his visits are making everyone uncomfortable and have become an issue of boundaries. How do we tell him and his mother we would like him to stop coming over? -- UNWELCOME NEIGHBOR IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEIGHBOR: That young man is lonely, but it should not be your responsibility to entertain him. Tell his mother exactly what you have written to me. It should be up to her to tell her son to stop dropping over. Depending upon how disabled he is, he should be working or in a program where he can do something constructive with his time.

DEAR ABBY: I met the love of my life eight months ago. Everything about our relationship is perfect. We both love our families, fine food, games and, most importantly, each other. We met at an antique store and now have an extensive stamp collection together.

Wanting this joy to last forever, I proposed to her. I couldn't imagine a happier life for both of us, until I discovered that she is already engaged. Her mother informed me that she had accepted a proposal from a close friend of ours months ago.

At first I was devastated, but now I understand the situation. She felt obligated to accept his proposal, yet I know she will only find true happiness by marrying me. How do I go about bringing this up to her? I'm very non-confrontational, and don't want her to feel awkward or uncomfortable. Should I tell her what I know or wait for her to come to me? Please help. -- IN LOVE BUT CONFUSED

DEAR IN LOVE: Something is definitely wrong with this picture. Sometimes confrontation is healthy. Don't waste another moment waiting for the girl to level with you. Tell her what her mother told you and ask if it is true. If it is, she needs to explain. Although you may be ready to settle down and get married, she may not be emotionally mature enough to marry either one of you.

DEAR ABBY: Today, June 21 -- the first day of summer -- is the annual ASK Day (Asking Saves Kids). Children are out of school and visiting other people's homes. This is a moment to remind parents to ask if there are guns in these homes and if they're stored safely -- out of kids' reach.

Will you help us get the word out about our campaign? Prevention saves lives, and we're grateful for your consideration. -- BETTINA LANYI, ASST. DIRECTOR OF PARTNERSHIPS, BRADY CAMPAIGN

DEAR BETTINA: I'm pleased to spread the word. Readers, the ASK Campaign is a collaboration between the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence and the American Academy of Pediatrics. Its goal is to ensure kids' safety by encouraging parents to ASK if there is an unlocked gun in the homes where their children play.

For more information, I encourage you to visit askingsaveskids.org. There you will find various resources, including tips for parents and others on how to bring up the sometimes-awkward topic of safe storage. There are also brochures and flyers in English and Spanish, and suggestions about how to work with groups in your community to bring public awareness to the ASK program.

DEAR ABBY: My investment adviser got married four months ago. He and his wife have invited me to a celebration of their marriage. It is not a formal affair, but an evening BBQ at their condo rooftop. Should I bring a gift? And if so, what would be appropriate for an investment adviser? -- BETTY IN FLORIDA

DEAR BETTY: A token gift would be thoughtful. Something they could use at one time or another might be a nice picture frame for their home. Be sure to include a thoughtful note with it, wishing them a lifetime of happiness together.