DEAR ABBY: I met the love of my life eight months ago. Everything about our relationship is perfect. We both love our families, fine food, games and, most importantly, each other. We met at an antique store and now have an extensive stamp collection together.

Wanting this joy to last forever, I proposed to her. I couldn't imagine a happier life for both of us, until I discovered that she is already engaged. Her mother informed me that she had accepted a proposal from a close friend of ours months ago.

At first I was devastated, but now I understand the situation. She felt obligated to accept his proposal, yet I know she will only find true happiness by marrying me. How do I go about bringing this up to her? I'm very non-confrontational, and don't want her to feel awkward or uncomfortable. Should I tell her what I know or wait for her to come to me? Please help. -- IN LOVE BUT CONFUSED

DEAR IN LOVE: Something is definitely wrong with this picture. Sometimes confrontation is healthy. Don't waste another moment waiting for the girl to level with you. Tell her what her mother told you and ask if it is true. If it is, she needs to explain. Although you may be ready to settle down and get married, she may not be emotionally mature enough to marry either one of you.

DEAR ABBY: Today, June 21 -- the first day of summer -- is the annual ASK Day (Asking Saves Kids). Children are out of school and visiting other people's homes. This is a moment to remind parents to ask if there are guns in these homes and if they're stored safely -- out of kids' reach.

Will you help us get the word out about our campaign? Prevention saves lives, and we're grateful for your consideration. -- BETTINA LANYI, ASST. DIRECTOR OF PARTNERSHIPS, BRADY CAMPAIGN

DEAR BETTINA: I'm pleased to spread the word. Readers, the ASK Campaign is a collaboration between the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence and the American Academy of Pediatrics. Its goal is to ensure kids' safety by encouraging parents to ASK if there is an unlocked gun in the homes where their children play.

For more information, I encourage you to visit askingsaveskids.org. There you will find various resources, including tips for parents and others on how to bring up the sometimes-awkward topic of safe storage. There are also brochures and flyers in English and Spanish, and suggestions about how to work with groups in your community to bring public awareness to the ASK program.

DEAR ABBY: My investment adviser got married four months ago. He and his wife have invited me to a celebration of their marriage. It is not a formal affair, but an evening BBQ at their condo rooftop. Should I bring a gift? And if so, what would be appropriate for an investment adviser? -- BETTY IN FLORIDA

DEAR BETTY: A token gift would be thoughtful. Something they could use at one time or another might be a nice picture frame for their home. Be sure to include a thoughtful note with it, wishing them a lifetime of happiness together.

DEAR ABBY: I have a 59-year-old brother-in-law who has always been a "proud bachelor." He isn't a rich, handsome, George Clooney-type bachelor, but a hand-to-mouth, burping, uncouth "Shallow Hal" kind of bachelor. He befriended a woman with four daughters, paying most of his attention to one of the daughters. He would take the woman and her girls to dinner, and take the daughters shopping without the mother.

Fast forward eight years. He wants to take the one daughter on a trip to Hawaii. And he has been telling everyone she is now 18 (the girl is still in high school). Should I say something to him, or mind my own business? He will likely hang up on me. I don't know the daughters or their mom well. Am I wrong to hear some alarm bells going off? -- WARY IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WARY: No, you are not wrong. The statement that the girl is "now 18" is a red flag for me, too. Rather than talk to your brother-in-law, inform the mother that he may be "grooming" her daughter for something more than an innocent tour of the islands. She should have noticed something was amiss eight years ago, when one daughter was singled out for special treatment, and put a stop to it then.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for five years. Early in our relationship, he became violent. Because of my economic status at the time, leaving was not an option.

I became pregnant with our child during our first year together. He ended up getting arrested for domestic violence against me (nothing toward our child) twice, and moved out for a year while court proceedings were taking place.

At first, he was incredibly cruel to me. I was so devastated by his arrests that I was grieving as if he had died. He then went through a series of interventions, and sought medical care and psychological counseling. He used to drink, but no longer does.

After a year, I let him move back home. But I no longer feel the same toward him. I am terribly unhappy. Even though he hasn't touched me and has toned down his anger, I can't forget the things he said and did to me. I don't want a divorce, though, because I do still love him. I just don't know how to proceed. Please help me. -- VICTIM IN OREGON

DEAR VICTIM: Nowhere in your letter did you mention whether you sought counseling to help you recover from the verbal and physical abuse. If you didn't, do it now.

There is a saying, "You can't unring the bell." You may love your husband, but verbal abuse can leave as many, or more, scars than physical abuse does. Until and unless you can completely forgive him for what he did to you, you won't be able to move on.

And by the way, if it turns out that you cannot, don't blame or punish yourself for it. Sometimes it's better for two people who care about each other to go their separate ways because it is healthier for both of them.

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DEAR ABBY: A dear friend has been battling cervical cancer. Her condition has left her dependent on a colostomy bag. She's not shy about discussing it on Facebook and in public, where she speaks loudly. I have tried to be understanding and supportive, but there are limits.

My problem is, she's hell-bent on making sure I see this colostomy bag by frequently checking to see if it's full, even after returning from the bathroom where I'm certain she checked it. More recently, we were at a restaurant and she exposed her bag in full view of others while they were eating. (The bag was full!)

Not only was it disgusting, it's also unhygienic should the bag become disconnected or rupture. Am I insensitive for thinking this is inappropriate and that she should excuse herself to go to the bathroom? -- NAUSEATED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR NAUSEATED: No, I don't think you are insensitive. While a colostomy bag is nothing to be ashamed of, because it involves human waste, decorum dictates that it be kept away from the dining table. Have a frank talk with your friend, tell her her behavior is inappropriate, and ask her not to do it in front of you.

DEAR ABBY: I grew up in the generation where if you were gay and you came "out of the closet," as it was called, you were not accepted in the community. A lot has changed since then. However, when it hits close to home, it's difficult for me to deal with.

My 19-year-old daughter told me three years ago that she's gay. At first I thought she was going through a phase and she was trying to find herself. Now she's dating girls her age, and I'm having a difficult time accepting it. Can you help me? -- STRUGGLING MOTHER IN ILLINOIS

DEAR STRUGGLING: Be glad we're not living in the bad old days because the ones we're living in are healthier for everyone. Start by congratulating yourself for having raised a daughter who is honest about her feelings and determined to live her life authentically. While some things may be different than you fantasized when she was little, it does not mean she won't be happy, successful and possibly a parent, if she wishes. Support her as she navigates through her journey in life. If you do, you -- and she -- will be fine.

DEAR ABBY: During the last year, a female friend of mine has started suggesting that she wants more from our relationship than just a friendship. She has had a history of doing this whenever she becomes friends with a guy.

When she started sending me pictures that became more and more suggestive, I decided to distance myself from her. But in the last month, she has been getting increasingly bold with her advances. How do I handle this without hurting her? -- FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE IN IOWA

DEAR FRIEND: Tell your friend you like her, but what she has been doing is making you increasingly uncomfortable. Be direct about saying you are not interested in a sexual relationship with her. Then, if she persists, continue to distance yourself from her.