life

Unhappy Mom Is Harassed by Her Family of Pranksters

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 10th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I tend to react poorly when someone pulls a prank on me. My reaction is usually anger, hurt or embarrassment, and I end up saying or doing things I later regret because emotion took over.

My husband has always liked playing pranks, and my children have started to follow his lead. The pranks tend to be things like ice down the back of my shirt, bopping the end of a glass or bottle while drinking so it splashes in my face, snapping wet towels, etc. I don't like it, and I never do it to them. If I react, I am made out to be the "bad guy" because I "can't take a joke."

I feel guilty about the latest incident because when my l0-year-old daughter bopped a drink in my face, I slapped her across the face. When I apologized for responding that way, she said, "Dad does it all the time."

I never get an apology from the pranksters. Is this normal? Are there others out there who don't like being the object of pranks? How do I get my family to understand that being subjected to these "jokes" isn't funny to me? -- UNAMUSED IN INDIANA

DEAR UNAMUSED: Jokes at the expense of others can be funny, as long as everyone agrees that they're funny. Because you have told your husband you not only don't find his pranks amusing but find them hurtful, I can only conclude that his sense of humor is sadistic. Further, it has set a poor example for the children.

I wonder how your husband would feel if you informed him after a hard day that his accountant had called saying he owes $25,000 in back taxes. (Ho, ho!) Or if you poured a pitcher of ice water on him at 2 a.m. Would that be equally "funny"? I doubt it. Normally, I wouldn't stoop to that level, but this may be an exception.

Etiquette & EthicsFamily & Parenting
life

Hard-Working Dancer Gets Little Respect for Her Choice of College Major

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 10th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I am writing because we are receiving some snide comments because of our daughter's choice of college major. She's majoring in dance. When people with college-age kids or grandkids find out, you can see it in their expression or hear it in their tone of voice. "Oh, really? Ummm, how nice." Or worse, the condescending, "How 'sweet.'"

Our daughter has always been an honor student. Starting in high school she carried full loads of classes, extracurriculars, held jobs and was active in church. In college she has added dance company and sorority to her resume.

I want these people to realize it takes guts to pursue her dream of becoming a dancer/choreographer and not major in something more conventional. We support her decision, and she already has her associate's degree in a field that will be useful as a backup. Why can't people understand that fine arts majors are brave, bold and passionate about their crafts? -- DANCER'S MOM IN TEXAS

DEAR DANCER'S MOM: If you react to the comments in a positive way rather than become defensive, they would give you the opening to smile and tell these "conventional thinkers" how proud you are of your daughter's choice to pursue her dreams, that her courage in pursuing a field as competitive as entertainment is more than "nice" and you admire her for it.

Family & ParentingEtiquette & EthicsWork & School
life

Daughter Is Stuck Playing Referee in Parents' Divorce

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 9th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm 16 and my parents are getting a divorce. It is really hard. They put me in the middle a lot in their arguments, like I'm a counselor. I have told them repeatedly I don't like it, and they promise it won't happen again, but it does.

They both tell me their sides of the story, but they never bother to listen to my feelings and what I want to say. It's like I have to be the adult/parent, while all I want is for them to hear me without getting upset. How do I bring this up? -- GIRL IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR GIRL: Your parents have placed you in a no-win position. What they are doing to you is extremely unfair. If you have a trusted aunt, uncle or grandparents you can confide in, enlist their help in delivering the message to your parents that their behavior is destructive. While your parents may be able to tune you out when you ask not to be involved in their marital problems, they may be less likely to ignore the message if they hear it from another adult. If you don't have a relative you can confide in, then enlist the help of a counselor at school.

Family & ParentingTeensMarriage & Divorce
life

Jobs That Helped Put Student Through School Now Enhance Nurse's Resume

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 9th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have a question about resumes. Over the last six years -- from the ages of 18 to 24 -- I have worked three jobs. One was full-time, two were part-time and each lasted two years. (They were baking at a local bakery, serving at a restaurant and being a file clerk.)

Now that I have my nursing degree, should I mention my previous employment on my resume when applying for a nursing position? I don't want it to look like I can't make up my mind when it comes to employment, but I also don't want it to appear like I have never worked a day in my life. Thoughts? -- WANTS TO BE A NURSE

DEAR WANTS TO BE A NURSE: If you list your dates of prior employment -- as well as the date you received your nursing degree -- it should be apparent that you were working toward your nursing degree all along. Before you are hired, you will be personally interviewed, which will give you the opportunity to not only explain what you have to offer, but also point out that your resume reflects that you're a hard worker. That's important information, and you should use all of your "ammunition" to land the job you're looking for.

Work & School
life

Noisy New Restaurants Leave Diner Straining to Hear

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 9th, 2018 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I haven't seen this mentioned in your column. I live in a big city and go to restaurants I hear or read about from time to time. While the food and service are generally great, the noise level is often so loud it makes conversation extremely difficult. Whether I'm part of a couple or in a small group, I have to shout to make myself heard across the table. Can you explain why the noise level in these trendy -- and often expensive -- restaurants is so high? -- DOWN WITH DECIBELS

DEAR D.W.D.: Alas, I can. The din is no accident. When diners in a restaurant can easily converse, they tend to linger. The restaurant makes more money if it can turn the tables a time or two or three, so it is designed with high ceilings, no carpets, loud music, and nothing on the surfaces to buffer the sound. Got it?

Money
life

Woman Looks for Exit Ramp out of One-Way Friendship

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 8th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who brags nonstop about her boyfriend, her job, her new car, etc. She only comes out of the woodwork every so often to text me things like, "Roy just got a $13 raise at work!" I respond with wholehearted support and congratulations, then don't hear from her again until days later, when I receive another text saying something like, "My boss said I can work any hours I want from now on!"

I'm not sure why she sends me these messages. Could it be to make me jealous of her "fairytale" lifestyle, which I'm not sure I believe she even truly lives?

We have no other meaningful conversation or time together, and I am growing tired of texts that are solely meant to showcase her wins in life. I have tried to distance myself by responding less and less and not initiating conversations, but then she asks why I'm "mad" at her. I feel like I am nothing more than a wall she posts her accomplishments on. I have no desire to be "friends" with her anymore, but I'm not sure how to get out of it. Thoughts? -- EX-FRIEND IN THE EAST

DEAR EX-FRIEND: Continue to respond to her texts less and less frequently. If she asks if you are mad at her, tell her you aren't mad, you are busy. If she wants more detail, tell her you have noticed that she has shown no interest in what your life is like, and to you that's not friendship.

Friends & Neighbors
life

Dog With History of Biting Is Difficult to Place in New Home

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 8th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 4

DEAR ABBY: My mother is getting up in years. Because of a multitude of health problems, she will soon have to enter a nursing home. She currently lives in her own home with her dog, "Skippy," and is facing the problem of what to do with Skippy when she has to move.

Skippy has growled at people in the past, including children, and has a brief biting history, which limits Mom's options and makes it impossible for her to bring the dog with her to a group nursing home. We're unable to take Skippy on because we're at our legal limit, according to the laws of our municipality, and we know of no one we can place a dog with such issues with. Any ideas? -- NEEDS A HOME FOR NIPPY SKIPPY

DEAR NEEDS: Contact the dog rescue groups in your area. Perhaps they can locate a home for an older dog -- I assume Skippy is older -- in a household where there are no children. It's regrettable that your mother didn't socialize her pet when it was a puppy, because it would have made it easier to keep Skippy with her.

Health & SafetyFamily & Parenting
life

Pseudonyms Protect the Guilty Along With the Innocent

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 8th, 2018 | Letter 3 of 4

DEAR ABBY: I have noticed that your letter writers often assign a fictitious name to the person they are writing about. I wonder why they do this. What is the purpose? -- JOHN DOE IN TAMPA

DEAR JOHN: I change all the names in the letters I print. I do this to prevent embarrassment for the letter writer as well as the person who's being complained about.

Etiquette & Ethics
life

Dear Abby College Columnist Contest

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | June 8th, 2018 | Letter 4 of 4

READER ALERT! If you know a student who would like to enter the $5,000 Dear Abby College Columnist Scholarship contest, see the information on DearAbby.com/scholarship and learn more. The deadline is fast approaching.

Work & SchoolMoney

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