DEAR ABBY: My husband is retired. Except for golf a few times a week, he's home all the time. He has taken to looking at porn a lot when he is home, including pictures and reading racy stories.

When I come home from work, he's on the computer. I'm very uncomfortable with it, and I have told him so. He says I should join him looking at the pictures and reading the stories. Am I a prude or is this behavior unusual? -- TURNED OFF IN HOUSTON

DEAR TURNED OFF: I'm reluctant to label either of you with only the sketchy facts you have presented. Much would depend upon the kind of pictures and stories your husband is viewing, because one person's porn can be another person's erotica. Many couples enjoy viewing it together and consider it to be a marital aid. Perhaps you should look over his shoulder a time or two and see if it works for you. Also, encourage your husband to get out and do other things, so his porn-watching time is not so excessive.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 71-year-old woman living with my 49-year-old single daughter in her house. She works during the day and I stay at home. She expects me to clean the house, walk the dog, work in the garden, do the laundry, make dinner, etc. I am willing to help with these things, but she doesn't seem to appreciate what I do, as is often demonstrated by her comments concerning the amount of noise I make when I eat, my bedroom not being clean enough and my activity level.

She says she's doing this "for my own good," and that I am lazy and unmotivated to do anything but play on my computer (she unplugged the internet because she thought I spent too much time on it). She claims she loves me and wants me to live with her, but I feel I should move out before this gets physical and she hurts more than my feelings. What should I do? -- BOARDER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR BOARDER: Move if you can afford to do it. Your daughter may love you, as I am sure you love her, but the situation you describe isn't healthy for either of you. You are being treated like a servant, not a mother. You are right to be concerned that your daughter's verbal abuse may escalate, because it very well could.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are talking about getting married. We agree that we would like to be married in Las Vegas. However, it would mean excluding our extended families as most of them would not travel. We thought about having a wedding and reception in our state, then traveling to Vegas to be married there as well. Are there any etiquette breaches with this idea? -- VEGAS WEDDING

DEAR VEGAS WEDDING: By the time you get to Vegas you'll be married. While I don't think there would be any etiquette breaches if you want another ceremony, it seems to me that it would be more accurate to call it a "renewal of vows" rather than a second wedding.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started dating a man who, until now, has been everything I wanted -- respectful, kind, caring, funny, the list goes on. He's recently divorced, and from what I know, he was unfaithful to his wife with many long-term side partners. Later, he started having one-night stands.

He travels a lot for work, and because I had a relationship where I was cheated on, his travel already is a concern for me. Since we have decided to be an official couple, he has disclosed more detail about his one-night stands. They were with prostitutes.

He says he has found peace with himself and knows what a poor decision it was, and how much damage he did to his wife because of it. He claims redemption, that he has disclosed all this to his pastor and will never be that self-destructive man again. He told me because he didn't want to have any lies of omission walking into a new relationship.

I want to believe he's the man I thought he was and that he would never disrespect me, but this was a huge blow. Should I try to move past this by giving him credit for his honesty? -- DUMBSTRUCK IN CHICAGO

DEAR DUMBSTRUCK: I can't blame you for wanting to be cautious in light of this man's track record. Considering the number of women he has slept with, it's important you have a discussion with him about any STDs he may have contracted, as well as make an appointment with your OB/GYN to be checked for them because these days they are rampant.

After that, if you are really serious about each other, go as a couple for relationship counseling so you -- and he -- won't bring any baggage from the past into this current relationship.

DEAR ABBY: A woman I worked with years ago recently moved to the city where I live. We are both in our mid-60s, retired and unattached. After she contacted me on a social website, we met and have continued seeing each other for lunch, movies, sporting events, etc.

I misinterpreted her attempts to become friends with me. I liked her very much and became attracted to her. Recently a situation arose in which a missed communication, an irrational act by me as well as an insensitive comment I made, upset her and now she no longer wants to talk with me. I understand her feelings.

I don't know how long I should wait to contact her to attempt to renew our friendship -- a month, two months, six months or more? Or should I just walk away and hope she has a change of heart, decides to let bygones be bygones and contacts me to renew the friendship? -- UNFRIENDED IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR UNFRIENDED: If apologies are in order, do not wait to make them. When you do, make clear that you didn't mean to upset her or make her uncomfortable, and you would still like to be friends -- on her terms -- if she is willing. From there on, the ball is in her court.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Chris," and I were planning on moving in together. We went apartment hunting and created a realistic budget we could both maintain. He was the one who brought up the idea and also the one who pushed it.

Chris is an only child. His parents love him so much I think they will do anything to keep him in their house for as long as they can. (He's 21.) I know I must respect his parents, but I also know Chris really wants to be out on his own but is afraid of them.

I want the best for him and for us. How should I handle this situation without harming the relationship between him and his parents, or me and his parents as well? -- WANTING IT IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WANTING IT: Because Chris is an adult, asking him when he does think the two of you can live together would be a fair question. However, if it's one he can't answer, you must realize that he isn't independent enough to cut the umbilical cord, and you should plan for your future accordingly.

DEAR ABBY: The first 20 years of our marriage were wonderful. My husband was kind, sweet and generous. Now he is angry most of the time, and spews rude and hurtful things at me.

When I ask him what's wrong and suggest marriage counseling, he says I am too sensitive or I take things wrong, and there's nothing the matter with our marriage. All I know is, this is not the man I fell in love with, and I don't know how much longer I can tolerate the way he's treating me.

I love my husband. I don't want to divorce him, but I also don't want to continue living this way. Please help. -- GONE WRONG IN OHIO

DEAR GONE WRONG: What your husband is doing is cruel, and for him to tell you you're imagining it, frankly, irritates me. I can't fix what's gone wrong in your marriage, but I'm glad to point you in the right direction.

Visit a marriage and family therapist without him and describe what's been happening. Whether the insight you gain will save your marriage is anybody's guess. However, it may give you the strength to do what is best for you, in the present and in the long run.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I walk the mall most days, and our route usually takes us through a bookstore where we enjoy coffee in the coffee shop attached to it. Every time we go we see one particular couple sitting there reading the books and magazines but never bothering to buy anything.

The place is not a library. These bookstores are striving to stay alive and make a profit. I'm torn about whether to approach the couple, the management, or let them continue abusing the generosity of the store by never making a purchase. -- MALL PATROL

DEAR MALL PATROL: Do not take it upon yourselves to shame that couple, which could lead to an ugly argument. Your efforts would be better spent if you talk to the store manager about what you have observed and let that person handle it from there. (For all we know, the "offenders" may be Mr. Barnes and Ms. Noble.)