DEAR ABBY: I'm a 29-year-old female and still a virgin. This decision is mostly based on my religious beliefs, but also because I haven't met the right guy. I have been struggling with this for several years because it seems my religious views and that of society are at odds. Rather than feel proud of my virginity, I feel ashamed.

At this point, I'm worried that if I tell a guy I'm a virgin, I'll be rejected. Throughout my teens and 20s, I believed that waiting for Mr. Right was the best route for me. Now that I'm older, it has become a constant weight on my shoulders. Our society places so much emphasis on sex. At 29, it seems I have failed in some way.

I met a guy recently and we both expressed that we had feelings for each other. I later found out that he had a girlfriend and two small children. I haven't seen him again, but I can't stop thinking about him. I thought he was a nice guy, but I feel so disappointed.

I'm concerned about my future. I'm afraid I won't meet the right guy and that I'll make a bad decision with the wrong guy. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. -- WAITING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR WAITING: All single people face the dilemma you are facing at one point or another. Too often, they make painful mistakes that they later regret. You, however, dodged a bullet. Virginity is a gift that can be given only once. Rather than feel disappointed, be glad you didn't waste it on a man who is already in a relationship and has two children to support.

You say you are religious. If that's true, have enough faith to believe you will meet the "right guy" at the right time. You might benefit by talking to your spiritual adviser about how to find a life partner whose values mirror your own. If that's not possible, some sessions with a psychologist may help you to regain confidence in your judgment.

DEAR ABBY: Several members of our family, when they come to our home for a visit, immediately take over the seating in the living room and begin to knit, crochet, etc. It's annoying and off-putting. It makes me feel excluded.

When it's just family, I put aside my feelings and focus on other family members. However, we recently hosted a gathering that included neighbors and friends. Those relatives sat in a little huddle, in the middle of the room, talking only among themselves. I was embarrassed. Several people commented to me about the "sewing circle."

I had hoped that since this wasn't just a family gathering, they would have had enough manners to leave their needles at home and socialize with the other guests. I'm so mad I'm on the verge of no longer inviting them, but I don't really want to do that. Any suggestions? -- FUMING IN NEW ENGLAND

DEAR FUMING: I agree that the "sewing circle's" behavior was rude. Your relatives should have made the effort to mingle and converse with the other guests, if only for a little while. If you haven't told them how their behavior reflected on them, you should. At least they would then understand why they may no longer be invited when you entertain.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my 30s and moved out of my parents' home 10 years ago. Last week I decided to visit them, and we went out to eat. Dad has a habit of sending his food back to the kitchen -- "My steak isn't cooked enough," or "My food is cold. Could you warm it up?" He even does this at restaurants that aren't fancy.

Dad has done this my whole life and he's in his 60s. It's embarrassing for me and Mom, and it frustrates the cooks and waitstaff. Is there a polite way of telling him to stop this behavior? He takes any criticism personally. -- EMBARRASSED IN THE NORTHEAST

DEAR EMBARRASSED: You are certainly free to tell your father that this habit embarrasses you, but after all these years, you and your mother are not going to change him. Restaurants are in the hospitality business. If your father isn't satisfied with his food, he has a right to ask that it be served to his liking, and most restaurants will gladly comply. We are not responsible for the actions of other people, and because of that, you should not feel embarrassed about something over which you have no control.

DEAR ABBY: Last year for my birthday, my husband asked me what I wanted for a gift. I told him I would like flowers once a month for one year. He's been pretty good about it. But I complained about the way I receive them, which is, when we are driving home in our truck (we work together) and it's nearing the end of the month, he'll pull into the parking lot at the grocery store, run in, come back and hand them to me. He always picks out a beautiful bunch, but my complaint was that it's never a "surprise." He says he can't decide if I'm ungrateful or a spoiled brat. What say you and your readers? -- GRATEFUL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GRATEFUL: Your mistake was in not clearly specifying that what you wanted was a bouquet in a vase from a florist. However, because you also told your husband you wanted flowers once a month, I fail to see how they would in any way be a "surprise." He has been giving you what you asked for, and you shouldn't look a gift husband in the mouth. I'm not going to name call, but shame on you.

DEAR ABBY: People in nursing homes or at home -- ill, incapacitated or retired -- still need social contacts. In our busy society, these folks are often forgotten, and it is hurtful. We will all get there someday and will fully understand how important an occasional phone call or greeting card can be. Please ask your readers to make a note on their calendar as a "reminder." If they do, someone will be very grateful for the kind gesture -- most likely the recipient -- but it may also be their family members. Kindness goes a long way. -- REMEMBERING IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR REMEMBERING: You have a caring soul. Your message is an important one, which is why I am sharing it with my readers. I know most of you are busy people, but a simple gesture can make a world of difference to those who may be isolated.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to the man who wants to keep his cancer prognosis secret until he nears the end ("Keeping It to Myself," Jan. 11).

My mother was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer that had spread to her brain. Her dizziness is how we found out. She didn't want to tell anyone for a while (which surprised me because she had always been a drama queen and a hypochondriac), but she ended up telling. It was the best thing she could have done.

The four of us kids were there with her through her treatments, she became much closer to the sister she had spent decades hating and she found out who her true friends were. Mom lived four years, until she finally passed in 2006. It's still raw for me. But I'm grateful for the time we had to get closer and share our lives.

I hope "Keeping" takes your advice and tells his friends. If he does, he may find these hard times to be some of the "best" times. That's what my mom said. -- CLAUDIA IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CLAUDIA: Thank you for sharing. I opened the question to my readers, and like you, most -- but not all -- agreed with my answer. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: As a former cancer patient and licensed therapist, I'd urge "Keeping" not to share that information if he doesn't want to. Truth is, not all people who hear the news will be supportive. Some will avoid him, some will pity him, and others will say amazingly inappropriate and unhelpful things. A prognosis of two years is a long time for people to react to him -- and for him to handle their reactions. I found it stressful to cope with the emotions of others as they reacted to my situation. Until "Keeping" is ready, he should be cautious about with whom he shares his diagnosis. -- LYN IN NEW YORK

DEAR ABBY: After chemo and clinical trials failed to contain my husband's cancer, he was told he had less than a year to live. We had already shared the initial prognosis with family and friends. Loved ones from near and far have visited him, called and emailed. Their visits have done more for his quality of life than any drug, and have probably extended it.

He has also made once-in-a-lifetime trips this past year with siblings, which would not have happened if we had waited to disclose his prognosis. Our adult children and grandchildren have spent more time with us and have become more loving and tolerant of each other. "Keeping's" next two years are a blessing and a gift. I hope he uses every moment wisely. -- DEBRA IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: I was in the same situation and, for me, it was not even a choice. I felt I had to tell everyone in our circle. The result was a warm outpouring of support and concern, even from neighbors we barely knew, which particularly helped my wife.

I have been very fortunate. My new treatment worked, I am now in remission, and we no longer need day-to-day support. But we have wonderful memories of people who were eager to help. We have established deeper friendships and the experience has made us more generous, too. -- MIKE IN OREGON

DEAR ABBY: Your advice was spot-on. My mother was in stage 4 pancreatic cancer and refused to let me tell anyone, even her siblings. When she died, it was my responsibility to spread the news, only to be berated by everyone who loved her. Relatives and close neighbors were devastated that they hadn't been able to have a final visit or the chance to prepare themselves for the loss. -- LISA IN CALIFORNIA