DEAR ABBY: I have been communicating with this girl I work with who is currently seeing a guy she's been with for four years. We have a strong connection and physical attraction, and we have both disclosed our feelings to each other.

We communicate rarely by text but never through phone calls, for obvious reasons. Her man works for the same company we do but in a different building. It's clear to me that he doesn't complement her being or lifestyle and will never rise to her level.

I let her know that if she were to break things off with him, I would want to give it a try, and she said the same. She contacts me only when she wants and flirts with me whenever we are in contact, but it's always at her convenience.

We have known each other for a year and a half now, and she claims she cares for me. My question, Abby, is how should I go about moving this situation forward? -- IN LINE FOR HER IN NEW YORK

DEAR IN LINE: From where I sit, the ball is in her court, not yours. Because nothing has happened in the last year and a half, you appear to be a diversion rather than the main event.

She has been with her boyfriend for four years. If she were willing to sacrifice the time she has put in with him for a chance to see if things work out with you, it would have happened by now. Because you want a real relationship with someone, my advice is to look elsewhere for one.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter has zero style sense. She tints her hair every color under the sun and dresses straight from the sale bin at the thrift store. She mismatches any and everything she puts on, and she's doing it to her children, too. Their clothes are dingy and outdated. I have bought them stylish clothing. She returns them and gets the ugliest clothes.

She also gives the kids hideous haircuts. If I take them to a stylist, she will buzz the entire cut into a Mohawk. My granddaughter had the most beautiful long hair, and my daughter just cut it into a mullet with short bangs.

Why does she want her kids looking ratty? She keeps a clean house and is an involved, loving mother. It drives me crazy. I try to keep my mouth shut because a gift is a gift. But it really annoys me that she will take back a top-label shirt and exchange it for an ugly one, or a pretty, sparkly dress for my granddaughter for a trashy-looking blue velvet dress with yellow rubber boots. Why? -- STYLISH GRAN IN ARIZONA

DEAR STYLISH GRAN: You are asking the wrong person that question. This is something you should ask your daughter. The answer may be as simple as her taste -- and her children's -- is different from yours. Or, these style choices are something her kids are OK with because this is what their friends are wearing.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Why is tonight different from every other night? Because Passover begins at sundown. Happy Passover, everyone. May your celebration be sweet!

DEAR ABBY: "Ron" and I have been married 20 years and have two children. Recently, he called me a "freeloader" and described my parenting as "half-assed." It's not the first time I've heard it from him.

I work part-time so I can have a flexible schedule and be home with our kids after school. Ron earns considerably more than I do, although I inherited money from my father that will provide security for our kids regardless of our incomes.

I think I'm a great mom. Our kids are healthy and well-adjusted. Although I don't need my husband's salary to live comfortably, I appreciate the good life his work affords us, and I do what I can to show it.

I do, however, expect Ron to participate in raising our kids and contribute to the running of our household. I think it's important, and I have work responsibilities and volunteer in our community. Ron says I do far less than "most of my friends" (who don't work), that he does a lot more around the house than the dads he knows and he resents it because he makes so much more money than I do.

How much is fair to expect him to do to help with our kids and home life? How can I get him to see how much hurt his name-calling and disrespect causes? -- NOT A FREELOADER

DEAR NOT A FREELOADER: Every marriage is unique, which is why your husband should not compare himself to other dads and you to their wives. I find it odd that the husband of a working wife -- and mother -- would resort to name-calling and accuse you of freeloading. Of course Ron should participate in his children's lives. That's what being a father is all about.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Helping with housework sets a good example for the kids. If the two of you can't work out a compromise without name-calling, you should at least agree to have a licensed marriage counselor mediate the discussion.

DEAR ABBY: I have a relative who has just been released from prison and is living with me and my family. He was incarcerated for more than 20 years for drugs.

It breaks my heart to say that he has relapsed and could be heading back down that same road. My mother doesn't want a drug addict in her house. She told him to make other living arrangements, and he has agreed to stay with other relatives where there are more job opportunities.

I feel guilty and my mother does, too. But she refuses to go through what she experienced during her childhood with this person. Is this the right thing to do? -- RELAPSE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR RELAPSE: Yes! Your mother has made her feelings clear to this relative. Living with a drug addict is chaotic, and if she doesn't want to repeat the unpleasant and possibly traumatic experience, she shouldn't have to.

By getting him out of the house she is taking care of herself, and for that she shouldn't feel guilty. However, because she does, it might help her -- and you -- to attend some Nar-Anon meetings. The group was founded in 1967 and its mission is to provide emotional support to families and friends of addicts. To locate a meeting nearby, visit nar-anon.org or call toll-free (800) 477-6291.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for a few months and are expecting our first child. His father passed away about a year ago. His parents had been married 33 years when he died.

A few weeks ago, we told my mother-in-law we were expecting our first child. After a joyous moment and some conversation later about children, she brought up my husband's half-brother, someone I didn't know existed! My husband then said, "I thought we weren't supposed to talk about him." She told him my father-in-law had reached out to the half-brother before his death to make amends (she'd had no knowledge they were in contact), but while she was cleaning out his wallet she found a picture of him.

Abby, I'm confused now about how to discuss this with my husband because I would love to know more details about his half-brother. I don't know how old he is, or what happened (i.e., infidelity). Evidently, he lives close to us. We might have met before. My husband nor anyone in his family mentioned this person, ever! Should I just leave it alone, or should I probe some more to see if I can get more information? -- PERPLEXED IN INDIANA

DEAR PERPLEXED: It appears the existence of this half-sibling is the skeleton in your husband's family closet. If I were you, I'd be careful about rattling it. Ask your husband if he's willing to share what he knows. If he is interested in pursuing more information, offer to help him. But unless he is, I do not advise starting to dig.

P.S. Because the father reached out to make amends, the half-brother may try to contact his siblings. But don't count on it.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for four months. My husband and I love each other very much. Although he has asked me multiple times for sex, we have only made love twice.

My problem is, sex doesn't interest me. In fact, the thought of it terrifies me. I hate saying no because I know it hurts him, but I'm always scared that I won't enjoy it. Or that if I do say yes, I'll feel like it's a chore just to make him happy. I know that's the wrong mindset to have going into it.

I have apologized almost every time I turn him down. He always says I don't need to be sorry and we'll only do it when I'm comfortable, but I'm scared I might not ever be comfortable with it. Plus I have doubts that I've ever had an orgasm. How should I approach this? -- SCARED NEWLYWED

DEAR SCARED: If you had experienced an orgasm, I assure you that you would not have forgotten the experience. You need to have at least two honest conversations -- the first with your husband, the second with your gynecologist. Your problem may be physical, emotional or a combination of the two.

A licensed psychologist can help you figure out the reason for your feelings and resolve them, or refer you and your husband to a sex therapist. The only thing you should not do is wait any longer to deal with this.