DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife and I were married for 29 years. Then she had an affair with a co-worker's husband. Now that we're divorced, she thinks we should be the best of friends!

If she has car, money or any other type of problems, she thinks I should help her. In the divorce, I kept the home, the furnishings, etc. She left with only a few things that were her mother's and her clothing.

She drops by unannounced, and wants to visit or watch television. I'm baffled. If she wanted out of the marriage and to have nothing to do with me, why is she still in my life? Granted, we have two daughters. One is 22, and the other, who is 10, lives with her.

She texts me about how her day has been, or if she's having problems at work or in life in general. I have been kind to her, not wanting to put too much stress on my youngest child. What should I do? -- CONFUSED IN TEXAS

DEAR CONFUSED: Your ex is no longer your life companion. She shouldn't be acting as if you are.

Have an honest conversation with her and create some boundaries. She should not assume she can drop by unannounced and expect you to solve her problems or comment on her day. Tell her you need your space and not to drop by without calling first because you may be busy or going out.

You can still be a loving and involved father to your 10-year-old without doing anything more than co-parenting with your ex, but only if you draw the line.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13 and I have a boyfriend, "Donald." We have a strong relationship for someone our age. My friends all say they can't see us breaking up. I'm not sure about this though.

The problem is, his mom recently invited me to dinner. And I had to turn the offer down. You see, I'm not allowed to date, and if my parents knew, I'd be switched to an all-girls boarding school. I always feel like I'm letting Donald down because his mom has made this offer more than once. He has never once complained, but I have no clue what to do. -- CLUELESS TEEN

DEAR CLUELESS TEEN: Here's what you do. Be totally truthful. Ask Donald to explain to his mother that as much as you would like to come to dinner, you cannot do that because your parents feel you are too young to date. Then take a rain check until your parents meet Donald and agree that it's all right for you to see him and accept his mother's invitation.

DEAR ABBY: The world is changing quickly thanks to the digital technology available to us. We all understand the importance of an RSVP, attendance at a celebration and a gift to the host on a mailed-out invitation. What do you think about Facebook invitations to wedding receptions, graduation parties, etc.? Most are sent out to masses of friends on the person's friends list. Do you consider those to be official invitations, requiring an RSVP, attendance and gift? -- WAITING FOR MY SNAIL MAIL

DEAR WAITING: Regardless of how the invitation is delivered, the polite response is to accept or refuse and not keep the sender hanging. If you choose to attend, a gift would be in order if the occasion requires one.

DEAR ABBY: I'm hoping you can give me some guidance, as I am a huge fan and read your column regularly. I am a 32-year-old woman whose mother and grandmother told me about our proud Native American heritage all my life. Several years ago, I got a large tattoo in our tribe's language as a way to honor my family.

Recently, Mom did a DNA test and discovered that we are not, in fact, of Native American descent. We feel devastated and betrayed by our parents and grandparents for lying to us for generations. I haven't shared this news with my husband, extended family and friends because I feel so ashamed and humiliated.

I told Mom that I would like to have my tattoo covered up or removed. It upset her and made her feel incredibly guilty. I'm not doing this to hurt her, but because I feel like a fraud and don't want to lie about the tattoo's meaning in the future. Abby, your thoughts on how best to handle this situation? -- TATTED AND CONFUSED

DEAR T and C: Considering the circumstances, I see no reason for continuing to wear a tattoo that would be a constant reminder you were lied to. If your mother deliberately misled you, she has good reason to feel guilty. If she, too, was misled, then she's as much a victim as you are.

My thought is that you are the only person who has to live in your own skin, and you should do with it whatever will make you happy.

DEAR ABBY: For 18 years I was in a loveless marriage. The one good thing that came out of that marriage was my beautiful 14-year-old daughter. My ex-wife and I have been divorced for a year now and I'm feeling emotionally available.

I have met -- or shall I say re-met -- a woman I have known since second grade. She was my sister's best friend and was always around our house growing up. She was kind of like a sister, but I always had a crush on her. Now, so many years later, we have connected. We see each other every few weeks and text each other.

This has been going on for almost a year. My crush has come back, but it is different this time. I feel like I'm falling in love with her. I'm not sure how she feels about me, but we do have an incredible connection. She calls us kindred spirits. And that's where my question lies. How do I take a 45-plus-year friendship out of the friendship zone? Should I tell her how I feel or not? I have tried, but the words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. -- LOST IN FRIENDSHIP

DEAR LOST IN FRIENDSHIP: The words you are looking for are, "I think I'm falling in love with you, and I need to know if you feel the same way." Say that, and the worst that can happen is your friendship of 45-plus years will remain a "kindred spirit" friendship. The best that can happen will be you will hit the jackpot. Speak up!

DEAR ABBY: I'm 18. I started helping to take care of children at the age of 2. I have taken care of them alone since I was 7. Yet every time older people talk about child care, I am rudely excluded from the conversation with comments like, "You don't know what we're talking about. You're not a parent." And, "You're just a kid. You only think you know what you're talking about." I even get these kinds of comments from people who have asked me for advice.

I know it shouldn't bother me, yet it does. After raising my younger siblings by myself and taking care of the house, is it wrong for me to consider myself a parent? -- PRACTICALLY A PARENT

DEAR PRACTICALLY A PARENT: No, in my opinion it isn't. Of this I am certain: You have more parenting experience than the adults who left a 7-year-old caring for her siblings by herself without supervision. According to the law, that qualifies as child neglect and abuse.

DEAR ABBY: How do I gracefully ask a bridesmaid to step down? She has been extremely unhelpful and missed all the events in the planning of my wedding. The problem is, she has already bought her dress. What do I do in a situation like this? -- DRESS DILEMMA

DEAR DILEMMA: It depends. Ask yourself (calmly) what will you gain by asking her to step down, and what do you have to lose?

If you are considering it because you plan to replace her, the big day has already been planned and the events are over. Would her replacement be purely decorative? If you want to punish her, understand that because she has paid for her dress there will be hard feelings, and if she's a family member, there will be consequences later. (Frankly, if I were you, I wouldn't toss my bridal bouquet in her direction.)

DEAR ABBY: How do I gracefully ask a bridesmaid to step down? She has been extremely unhelpful and missed all the events in the planning of my wedding. The problem is, she has already bought her dress. What do I do in a situation like this? -- DRESS DILEMMA

DEAR DILEMMA: It depends. Ask yourself (calmly) what will you gain by asking her to step down, and what do you have to lose?

If you are considering it because you plan to replace her, the big day has already been planned and the events are over. Would her replacement be purely decorative? If you want to punish her, understand that because she has paid for her dress there will be hard feelings, and if she's a family member, there will be consequences later. (Frankly, if I were you, I wouldn't toss my bridal bouquet in her direction.)