DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife and I were married for 29 years. Then she had an affair with a co-worker's husband. Now that we're divorced, she thinks we should be the best of friends!
If she has car, money or any other type of problems, she thinks I should help her. In the divorce, I kept the home, the furnishings, etc. She left with only a few things that were her mother's and her clothing.
She drops by unannounced, and wants to visit or watch television. I'm baffled. If she wanted out of the marriage and to have nothing to do with me, why is she still in my life? Granted, we have two daughters. One is 22, and the other, who is 10, lives with her.
She texts me about how her day has been, or if she's having problems at work or in life in general. I have been kind to her, not wanting to put too much stress on my youngest child. What should I do? -- CONFUSED IN TEXAS
DEAR CONFUSED: Your ex is no longer your life companion. She shouldn't be acting as if you are.
Have an honest conversation with her and create some boundaries. She should not assume she can drop by unannounced and expect you to solve her problems or comment on her day. Tell her you need your space and not to drop by without calling first because you may be busy or going out.
You can still be a loving and involved father to your 10-year-old without doing anything more than co-parenting with your ex, but only if you draw the line.