life

Lighthearted Poem Reminds Visitors to Use Guest Towels

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 14th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: I'm frustrated that guests in my home almost never use the guest towels I've put out for them in the bathroom. Why do they do this?

I remember a little poem in your column that addresses this. I'd like to clip it and put it in there next to the towels. Please print it again! -- GOOD HOSTESS IN CLOVER, S.C.

DEAR HOSTESS: With pleasure -- here it is:

A GUEST TOWEL SPEAKS

by Mabel Craddock

Please use me, Guest;

Don't hesitate.

Don't turn your back

Or vacillate.

Don't dry your hands

On petticoat,

On handkerchief,

Or redingote.

I'm here to use;

I'm made for drying.

Just hanging here

Gets very tiring.

I thought the poem was clever enough when I first saw it that many of you would enjoy it. After it appeared, many readers thanked me for printing it. Some said they'd framed and hung it in the bathroom their guests used. (Problem solved!) I hear from many readers asking me to re-run articles that hold meaning for them. Some say the articles have been saved until they are yellowed with age and falling apart. Eventually, it was suggested they be put together in a booklet. Since so many readers kept the items to re-read, the booklet is titled "Keepers." It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus a check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby, Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. Filled with clever observations, "Keepers" is both witty and philosophical. It contains poems, essays and letters on subjects as diverse as children, parents, human nature, philosophy and death. It's a quick and easy read as well as an inexpensive gift for newly married couples, pet lovers, new parents, and anyone grieving or recovering from an illness.

Etiquette & EthicsFriends & Neighbors
life

Parents' Dislike for Boyfriend Leads to Estrangement

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 14th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it is right that my parents disowned me because I'm seeing a guy they don't like? I don't think it is. I'm 25, and I live on my own with my son. -- NOT RIGHT IN WASHINGTON

DEAR NOT RIGHT: Not knowing the guy or your parents' reason for disliking him, I can only suggest that their reaction seems extreme. By age 25 you should be mature enough to decide something like this without being emotionally blackmailed. Please recognize that if you give in to this, they will be making your decisions for you until they are no longer on this side of the sod.

Love & DatingFamily & Parenting
life

Woman Irked When Co-Worker Mimics Her Distinctive Style

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 13th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have been trying to get healthy for years and recently lost a lot of weight. Every job I have, I work with grossly obese women. At my present job, one of them keeps coming to work dressed like me. It has happened before and I am sick of it. You have no idea how insulting it is to come to work, ready to do my job and find myself in this embarrassing situation. I just started working here and I need the job.

To me, this is a form of harassment, and I don't understand where she's coming from. It's not my problem if she is unhappy with her self-image. I like myself; I mind my own business and do my work. Also, I worked in fashion for years. If she wants my fashion expertise, she should pay me for it. Copying the way I dress is not a compliment. It's identity theft. She is not me. I do not appreciate her imitating me. Please help! -- ONE OF A KIND IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ONE OF A KIND: I'll try, but it may not be the kind of help you're asking for. Have you never heard the saying, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"? It's a principle the fashion industry is based upon. Instead of being offended and angry, why not help the woman by offering to assist her in making distinctive fashion choices of her own? I'm sure she'd welcome it, and I'm also sure it would lighten and brighten the atmosphere in your workplace.

Work & SchoolHealth & Safety
life

Accident Fails to Change Mom's Habit of Texting While Driving

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 13th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My mom was involved in a serious car accident a while back that required multiple surgeries and hospital stays. She's still dealing with the repercussions.

The problem is that she doesn't seem to have learned from it. She still texts and looks at her phone while driving. It has reached the point where I refuse to ride with her or allow her to drive my child in her car.

I've asked her repeatedly to not use her phone while driving, but she seems to think she's invincible even after having proof she's not. What should I do to make her understand she's putting herself in danger again, not to mention those who ride with her? -- CONCERNED DAUGHTER

DEAR CONCERNED: Because your mother didn't learn after the accident she caused by not turning off her cellphone, it's time to accept that nothing you say will change her. Continue to refrain from riding with her or allowing your child to. And pray that if she causes another collision, she doesn't kill herself or someone else.

Family & ParentingHealth & Safety
life

Smoke Gets in the Eyes of Neighbors Enjoying Fresh Air

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 13th, 2018 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: We love to open our windows and enjoy the fresh air during the wintertime in Florida. One neighbor sits out back and smokes and the other one smokes on his front porch, which makes it impossible to open our windows without smoke drifting in. I realize they have rights, but why can't we enjoy our home too? What would you do? -- FRESH AIR IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRESH AIR: I'd consult an air conditioning company and describe the problem. Some restaurants that have smoking patios keep the cigarette smoke from annoying patrons inside by installing a fan above the entrance. The forced air blows straight down and serves as a barrier not only to smoke, but also to flying insects.

Friends & Neighbors
life

Parents Blame Teen's Friends for Underage Drinking Episode

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 12th, 2018 | Letter 1 of 2

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old daughter, "Jenny," went to a sleepover with her two best friends from school last Friday, "Penny" and "Ginger." Penny's parents went out and left the girls alone. They drank some beer. Jenny and Ginger were sober, but Penny also drank some hard liquor and got very drunk. I found out about it the following Monday after Penny texted my daughter and Ginger to tell them how upset and disappointed her parents were and that they were demanding letters of apology from all three girls.

I thought it was over the top, but realized Jenny was in the wrong. That same day Jenny wrote them an email with a heartfelt apology for disrespecting everyone by drinking in their house, for drinking their beer without permission and for allowing their daughter to get drunk (not being a true friend and trying harder to stop her).

Now, the fifth day after the email was confirmed received, my daughter is disappointed that it was never acknowledged. Penny's parents have been known to be dramatic in past dealings with other students and parents. Will you advise me on what I should do? I feel I should let it go and let Jenny figure out how she should choose her friends. She has ditched a friend who wasn't a good influence on her without us forcing her to. -- JENNY'S MOM IN CANADA

DEAR MOM: There is plenty of blame to go around. Penny's parents shouldn't have left three teenagers alone with liquor available. While I can't blame them for being upset after coming home and finding their daughter smashed and the other two "tiddly," they were wrong to expect Jenny and Ginger to have prevented their daughter from misbehaving.

I do not agree that asking for a written apology was over the top. And under the circumstances, I don't think your daughter's letter needed acknowledgment. Let it go, with a firm lecture to your daughter about underage drinking and the consequences that will follow if you find out it happens again.

TeensFamily & Parenting
life

Family Connections Keep Man Tied to Ex-Wife

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 12th, 2018 | Letter 2 of 2

DEAR ABBY: A couple of years ago, I ran into "John," an old friend who was going through a divorce. We began a wonderful relationship, although he was having a hard time emotionally. I was John's confidante and best friend. About six months after the divorce was final, his ex-wife found out he was with me. She decided she wanted him back, and he reconciled with her.

John and I still talk, and since then they have broken up three or four additional times. I want him back, but only if she's completely out of the picture. She's a master manipulator and uses their adult kids and grandchildren to control him. How can I get it through John's head that if he stands his ground, she will go away and find someone else? -- STAYING WITH IT IN OHIO

DEAR STAYING: If you think John's wife (ex?) will ever be completely out of the picture, you are mistaken. She will always be there in some capacity because of the children and grandchildren. If you can't accept that fact, you should end the relationship before you waste any more time.

Marriage & DivorceLove & Dating

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