DEAR ABBY: I have been trying to get healthy for years and recently lost a lot of weight. Every job I have, I work with grossly obese women. At my present job, one of them keeps coming to work dressed like me. It has happened before and I am sick of it. You have no idea how insulting it is to come to work, ready to do my job and find myself in this embarrassing situation. I just started working here and I need the job.

To me, this is a form of harassment, and I don't understand where she's coming from. It's not my problem if she is unhappy with her self-image. I like myself; I mind my own business and do my work. Also, I worked in fashion for years. If she wants my fashion expertise, she should pay me for it. Copying the way I dress is not a compliment. It's identity theft. She is not me. I do not appreciate her imitating me. Please help! -- ONE OF A KIND IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ONE OF A KIND: I'll try, but it may not be the kind of help you're asking for. Have you never heard the saying, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"? It's a principle the fashion industry is based upon. Instead of being offended and angry, why not help the woman by offering to assist her in making distinctive fashion choices of her own? I'm sure she'd welcome it, and I'm also sure it would lighten and brighten the atmosphere in your workplace.

DEAR ABBY: My mom was involved in a serious car accident a while back that required multiple surgeries and hospital stays. She's still dealing with the repercussions.

The problem is that she doesn't seem to have learned from it. She still texts and looks at her phone while driving. It has reached the point where I refuse to ride with her or allow her to drive my child in her car.

I've asked her repeatedly to not use her phone while driving, but she seems to think she's invincible even after having proof she's not. What should I do to make her understand she's putting herself in danger again, not to mention those who ride with her? -- CONCERNED DAUGHTER

DEAR CONCERNED: Because your mother didn't learn after the accident she caused by not turning off her cellphone, it's time to accept that nothing you say will change her. Continue to refrain from riding with her or allowing your child to. And pray that if she causes another collision, she doesn't kill herself or someone else.

DEAR ABBY: We love to open our windows and enjoy the fresh air during the wintertime in Florida. One neighbor sits out back and smokes and the other one smokes on his front porch, which makes it impossible to open our windows without smoke drifting in. I realize they have rights, but why can't we enjoy our home too? What would you do? -- FRESH AIR IN FLORIDA

DEAR FRESH AIR: I'd consult an air conditioning company and describe the problem. Some restaurants that have smoking patios keep the cigarette smoke from annoying patrons inside by installing a fan above the entrance. The forced air blows straight down and serves as a barrier not only to smoke, but also to flying insects.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old daughter, "Jenny," went to a sleepover with her two best friends from school last Friday, "Penny" and "Ginger." Penny's parents went out and left the girls alone. They drank some beer. Jenny and Ginger were sober, but Penny also drank some hard liquor and got very drunk. I found out about it the following Monday after Penny texted my daughter and Ginger to tell them how upset and disappointed her parents were and that they were demanding letters of apology from all three girls.

I thought it was over the top, but realized Jenny was in the wrong. That same day Jenny wrote them an email with a heartfelt apology for disrespecting everyone by drinking in their house, for drinking their beer without permission and for allowing their daughter to get drunk (not being a true friend and trying harder to stop her).

Now, the fifth day after the email was confirmed received, my daughter is disappointed that it was never acknowledged. Penny's parents have been known to be dramatic in past dealings with other students and parents. Will you advise me on what I should do? I feel I should let it go and let Jenny figure out how she should choose her friends. She has ditched a friend who wasn't a good influence on her without us forcing her to. -- JENNY'S MOM IN CANADA

DEAR MOM: There is plenty of blame to go around. Penny's parents shouldn't have left three teenagers alone with liquor available. While I can't blame them for being upset after coming home and finding their daughter smashed and the other two "tiddly," they were wrong to expect Jenny and Ginger to have prevented their daughter from misbehaving.

I do not agree that asking for a written apology was over the top. And under the circumstances, I don't think your daughter's letter needed acknowledgment. Let it go, with a firm lecture to your daughter about underage drinking and the consequences that will follow if you find out it happens again.

DEAR ABBY: A couple of years ago, I ran into "John," an old friend who was going through a divorce. We began a wonderful relationship, although he was having a hard time emotionally. I was John's confidante and best friend. About six months after the divorce was final, his ex-wife found out he was with me. She decided she wanted him back, and he reconciled with her.

John and I still talk, and since then they have broken up three or four additional times. I want him back, but only if she's completely out of the picture. She's a master manipulator and uses their adult kids and grandchildren to control him. How can I get it through John's head that if he stands his ground, she will go away and find someone else? -- STAYING WITH IT IN OHIO

DEAR STAYING: If you think John's wife (ex?) will ever be completely out of the picture, you are mistaken. She will always be there in some capacity because of the children and grandchildren. If you can't accept that fact, you should end the relationship before you waste any more time.

DEAR ABBY: My 92-year-old mother lives alone, still drives and manages by herself with a feral cat she took in. She's dealing with heart failure, but doing well on her meds. I am 70, an only child, married, retired and live six hours away.

We go to see her four times a year and stay for a week in our RV. We talk on the phone once a week and email a couple times in between phone calls.

Mom says she's staying in her house as long as she is able. She has nice neighbors who will do anything for her, plus a lawn/snow service. We have told her she's welcome to come live with us, but she loves her independence and has the cat to take care of.

She goes to her church group, senior citizens group and gets her nails done every three weeks. She's busier than I am socially. But I feel consumed by guilt that she's so far away and afraid that each visit may be our last.

My husband says he isn't moving, and he has his own activities and health issues. He doesn't want to stay with Mom more than a week because we end up watching QVC with her all afternoon. When we left last week, she said, "My friends told me I hardly ever see you, and I hope you can come more often."

I don't know what to do. Am I doing enough? We pay her taxes and phone/cable/internet and any big bills (car repairs). But I'm not there to drop in the way most of her friends' children do, who never moved away after high school. -- GUILT-RIDDEN IN MARYLAND

DEAR GUILT-RIDDEN: You are doing as much as you can for your mother. Her friends should not judge because their family situations are not the same as yours. You stated that you email her in between phone calls. Ask your mother if she would be open to video chatting (Skype, FaceTime, etc.) in between those phone calls. That way you could see each other's faces, and it might help her feel less distant from you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have only recently recovered financially from the economy crashing. We lost our car, our home and filed bankruptcy. Thankfully, we now have some savings and no debt other than our new home.

It has been 10 years since we had a real vacation, so we are planning a cruise. My problem is I mentioned it to some friends and family members. Four of them have now asked us to bring back souvenirs for them. I feel it's presumptuous. I don't want to spend my vacation running around buying other people stuff.

Am I being overly sensitive or are they being impolite? And how can I politely refuse? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE USA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You are not overly sensitive. Tell those folks that your excursion schedule will be tight and you won't have time to do much shopping -- even for yourselves. It's the truth, I'll bet.

P.S. And when you return, be discreet about flashing any souvenirs you pick up for yourselves along the way!