DEAR ABBY: My psychiatrist's office called and left a very sensitive voicemail about my bulimia on a message machine shared with other individuals. Our voicemails are sent transcribed to everyone's email accounts.

Since my complaint (which was an argument during which the nurse who left the private information hung up on me), human resources and the office manager have contacted me to try to alleviate the tension, but I have received no apology from anyone for violating HIPAA or embarrassing me. Should I throw in the towel and find a new doctor or revoke my contact information from their files? I don't know how to proceed from here. -- PERSONAL TO PUBLIC

DEAR PERSONAL: If you provided a shared phone number as your point of contact, you should not have blamed the person who left the message for using it. I see no reason to change doctors, but you should definitely alter your client information so this doesn't happen in the future.

That said, does your psychiatrist know one of his/her employees hung up on you? If not, the doctor should be informed, and you should be offered an apology.

DEAR ABBY: As guardians of our 5-year-old grandson, we have been given all rights, no terms. He has a father who is "on again, off again" and makes zero financial contribution. I want to cut him off because consistency and effort are important to me, and he shows none.

My husband, on the other hand, says the boy is young, and I should give his father some time because contact once every other month is better than none at all. Our grandson enjoys him when he is here, but he doesn't miss him or ask for him once he's left. Should I allow this inconsistency and instability to continue? -- PARENTS AGAIN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PARENTS AGAIN: I think your husband is right. While the father's presence may be sporadic, at least your grandson knows that he is cared about. As he grows older, he may or may not start asking why his dad isn't around more. Deal with it then. The boy's stability is coming from the home you and your husband are providing for him, and that should be your focus.

DEAR ABBY: I'm close to my brother and his wife. My friend "Dotty"-- who is estranged from her husband -- thinks my brother is hot, so when she sees him (without his wife) she greets him with a quick kiss on the lips. I have told her I don't think my sister-in-law would like it if she saw her do that.

Since then, Dotty has asked him to do repair work at her house (without pay) and he agreed because he is kindhearted. I told her subtly that I didn't think that was a good idea. Is her behavior toward married men normal? -- TOO FRIENDLY IN HAWAII

DEAR TOO FRIENDLY: It is, for a woman who is friendly, outgoing and on the prowl. You may be dropping hints about what Dotty is doing to the wrong person. The next time you talk to your brother, tell him what you think about your friend's behavior, and ask him what he thinks his wife would think about it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a son from a previous relationship, and have been in a relationship with a man I'll call Bryan for a year. Not long ago, Bryan confided to me that he and his brother had been molested by a female relative. I don't know her. I have only met his parents.

This female relative has been asking about my son on social media because she has seen him in pictures with Bryan's family. I want to tell her to back off, but so far, I have held off. I'm afraid if I do, I will cause problems because his parents don't know what I know.

My protective instinct has become very alert. I may be wrong, but I feel like she sees my son as a future target. What should I do? -- MAMA BEAR

DEAR MAMA BEAR: Listen to your protective instinct. Talk with Bryan and tell him the woman's questions are of concern to you, that you don't want her to have any information about or contact with your child, and then make sure your wishes are respected. If she receives any message to back off, it should come from him, not you.

DEAR ABBY: On behalf of all new moms, please help with this question. Why does every woman in the world, it seems, feel entitled to ask new moms if they are breastfeeding their babies? How should new moms respond politely to this question? If you say yes, you may or may not be lying. If you say no, you will be judged. If you give an evasive answer, people will assume you are not and you will be judged as well. It seems to me that all substances excreted by the body should be off limits in social situations. -- MY BUSINESS IN TEXAS

DEAR MY BUSINESS: Judgmental people can get to you only if you allow it. While there are valid reasons why babies should be breastfed, it isn't always possible, and women should not be quizzed by strangers about whether they are.

My mother used to advise readers who were put off by prying questions to say, "If you will forgive me for not answering that question, I'll forgive you for asking." Even though you asked for a polite retort, in a situation like this, my response would be, "If that were any of your business, you would already know the answer!"

DEAR ABBY: A couple years ago, when we moved to a home with more privacy than our previous home, my husband decided to walk around naked all the time. It's not that I'm a prude, but I don't find his furry 60-year-old body attractive in broad daylight. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I have asked him many times to please put something on, and he either ignores me or gets mad. I avert my eyes when he's sashaying by me. Is there anything else I can do to reason with him? -- SEEN ENOUGH ALREADY

DEAR SEEN ENOUGH: Probably not. Since you can't change him, why not join him one day a week? You have nothing to lose but your clothes -- and it might solve the problem.

DEAR ABBY: I am almost 62 and struggling to get through the day at work. It's not because of the work itself, but I am extremely unhappy in the work environment.

I have been here more than 20 years, and I have a real problem with the work ethic of the younger employees. They come in to work anywhere from a half-hour to two hours late. One of them takes hourlong breaks, two-hour lunches and then leaves early. Another comes to work and complains nonstop about her drive, her ex and all her aches and pains. (She just turned 40.) I go home every night frustrated and so stressed out I snap at my poor husband.

I really want to retire. It wouldn't be a financial burden, although we would have to cut back on a little spending. My husband won't offer an opinion, but I know I'd be much happier and healthier if I did. Any advice? -- STRESSED AND TIRED

DEAR STRESSED: You might be happier and healthier if, rather than retire early, you talked to a licensed mental health professional about how to manage your stress. You can't control the behavior (or misbehavior) of your younger co-workers. That's your boss's responsibility. If their lack of punctuality and poor attendance doesn't bother your employer, you should not be letting it affect you.

And as to the woman who complains about her aches, her pains and her ex -- why are you listening to that garbage? You have only a few more years until you reach an age at which you can retire with all the benefits you have earned -- and without having to cut back. Please consider what I have said and ride it out.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had a phone conversation with a cousin who lives on the other side of the country. We talk once a month. She has always been judgmental and negative about our cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., who -- for the most part -- she rarely communicates with. In the past, when she would put them down, I'd cut the conversation short because I didn't want to listen.

During our last chat, she started in on my brother. That's when I lost it. I gave her a piece of my mind and hung up. Since then, she has texted and called a few times, but I haven't responded.

I feel bad for what happened, but at the same time, I refuse to listen to her talk badly about and judge other family members. How should I handle this? Should I respond to her? In one of her texts she said she "didn't mean to upset me," but I don't consider that an apology. -- HATES JUDGMENT IN OHIO

DEAR HATES JUDGMENT: Yes, you should respond to your cousin. She needs to understand that you are changing the rules regarding further conversations with her.

Explain that it has always made you uncomfortable when she said unkind, judgmental things about family members, and that when she started in on your brother, you finally reached your limit. Tell her that in the future when you talk, it must be about positive things and not family members. After that, the ball will be in her court. See if she follows through.