DEAR ABBY: How old does a child have to be before she is able to choose a relative to live with? I'm the one my granddaughter wants to stay with. Her home life is in turmoil because of her parents' nasty divorce.

Ever since her mother (my daughter) found out my granddaughter wants to live with me, she has forbidden her to talk to me, and me to contact her. Her mother is depressed and angry, but won't seek counseling. She doesn't talk to me unless it's to say ugly things.

My granddaughter said her mother never smiles anymore. We are very close and this hurts my heart. She's a good girl and should be able to be happy.

We live several hours away, and are more than willing to have her. She already has a room here, and our home is never happier than when she's visiting.

We haven't spoken to her in months, and we really miss her. Her younger sibling gets most of the positive attention, while she receives mostly negative attention. I have seen this happen many times. She tries so hard to please her mom. I don't know what to do to help her. -- HEARTBROKEN IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: It would have been helpful if you had mentioned why your daughter is angry with you and is preventing your grandchild from contacting you and vice versa. If she's in such bad shape that it is negatively affecting your granddaughter, your questions should be addressed to a lawyer.

If your granddaughter is in her teens, she might be considered mature enough to ask to live with a relative other than her mother. If not, and her mother's hostility is affecting her schoolwork, a trusted teacher or counselor at school might be able to see she gets the emotional support she needs.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is very outgoing. He loves chatting on the phone for hours, and talks with all the neighbors up and down the street. He's retired, so it's fine -- up to a point.

We have a set time for dinner, which is 6:30, and he knows it. Invariably he'll be on the phone or up the street when it's close to dinner. I always remind him 10 to 15 minutes ahead, which gives him time to be here to eat, but he'll keep chatting until he's anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour late to dinner.

I put time and effort into preparing my meals. I grow my own vegetables and think of creative things to fix. He always comments how great the meals are, so it's not that he doesn't like my food. If it's not eaten promptly, it's overcooked/mushy/wilted, etc., so I go ahead and eat if he's not here. I'd like him to be with me when I sit down at the table.

I feel it's incredibly rude for him to be late. When I tell him that, he laughs like it's a big joke. Short of treating him like a 2-year-old and throwing his food away if he doesn't show up on time, I'm not sure what to do. Can you help? -- FED UP IN NAPA, CALIF.

DEAR FED UP: I can't force your husband to the dinner table and neither can you. To toss his dinner into the garbage would be too overtly hostile and a waste of food. Try this: Tell him dinner time is 6:30, but prepare the food as if it's for 6:45 or 7.

DEAR ABBY: My son bought me a car in 2012. I had no idea he was doing it. He traded my car in for this newer car.

During the last five years this "gift" has been nothing but a sore spot. If I get a ding from a parking lot, it's my fault. If I let someone smoke in it, I'm unappreciative. It's always, "I do something to help you, and you're so ungrateful." I'm at the point of giving it back and riding a bus. What's the solution? -- AUTO-CHALLENGED MOM IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR AUTO-CHALLENGED: The solution is to stand up for yourself. Your son appears to be using his "generosity" to badger you.

If you haven't told him how his comments have made you feel, you should. Point out that you can't control what happens to the vehicle when you're not in it. And once a gift is given, it's the recipient's to do with as she wishes. If a friend lighting up in your car doesn't bother you, you shouldn't have to apologize for it.

As a last resort, consider trading the car in for one he has nothing to do with.

DEAR ABBY: After 31 years of marriage, I divorced my husband last year. I was very unhappily married, and am glad to be moving forward in life. Our children suffered as well because of our marriage, and are only now beginning to make healthy choices.

My problem is that people I knew ages ago have found me on social media and want to reconnect. I'm not ready for that. I don't want to discuss what's been happening for the last 32 years. I don't want to wave them off, but neither do I want to talk about my life. It would make them uncomfortable.

I'm building a new life now, but it's still under construction. How do I respond to these well-meaning old friends? -- NOT READY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR NOT READY: You do not have to reveal anything to these old acquaintances that you don't wish to. If they ask questions you feel are too personal or painful, all you have to say is you would rather not discuss it. Then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: My husband tosses and turns, snores, talks and sings in his sleep. In short, I cannot get my sleep when we're in the same bed. He insists that I sleep with him because "if I don't, it would create a rift in our marriage." When I tell him I love him but I need to get my sleep, he says that love is only a word for me if I don't act upon it by sleeping next to him. It has gotten so bad I am thinking of leaving him. Advice? -- ONLY A WORD IN OHIO

DEAR ONLY A WORD: Rather than leave, schedule an appointment for both of you with your family physician. Because your "musical" husband is tone-deaf when he hears you need a solid night's sleep, let the doctor impress upon him how important sleep is for good mental and physical health. Many happily married couples sleep in separate beds -- and sometimes even separate rooms -- and have great relations both in and out of bed. When there are sleep problems, sleeping apart isn't a matter of rejection; it's common sense.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 72-year-old married woman. My husband has atypical Parkinson's and can no longer talk or walk.

I exercise six days a week, but I need someone to talk to, to share life with. I tell my husband what I do each day, but of course, there is no feedback. He's at home, and we have 24-hour care.

Can I date? If I explained to him how I need companionship, he might agree. But am I being selfish? This has been going on for six years. I figure I have only 10 productive years left -- maybe fewer. I feel like my life is over. Please help me. I feel like I'm dying. -- REQUIRES COMPANIONSHIP

DEAR REQUIRES COMPANIONSHIP: I think it would be not only selfish but cruel to tell your husband you need companionship and want to seek another relationship. How would you feel if you were in his position, unable to walk or talk, and he said that to you?

If ever I heard of a person who needs to join a support group, it is you. The American Parkinson Disease Association (apdaparkinson.org) can help you locate one. The toll-free phone number is (800) 223-2732.

As to my giving you permission to date, that's something that should be between you and your conscience or higher power, not Dear Abby.

P.S. Couples who face this kind of diagnosis should have this conversation in advance.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 35 years, and I'm not sure how to respond to some recent developments in our relationship.

Ever since our wedding, I have tried to persuade him to attend church with me, but he always declined, preferring instead to stay home and catch up on his sleep. Both of us are Protestants, so I don't think my denomination was an issue. However, when his older brother moved back to our area a few months ago, my husband decided to attend church services regularly with him and his family. On top of that, he now wants us to have separate Facebook accounts and separate email addresses.

For the most part, I have kept my feelings to myself, but I am worried that my needs are no longer important to him. Do you think I have a reason to be concerned? -- WORRIED WIFE IN WICHITA

DEAR WIFE: Yes, I do. Any drastic change in a spouse's behavior is cause for concern, and his sudden desire to separate his internet activity from yours is another red flag.

Stop keeping your feelings to yourself and speak up. He may be doing something on Sunday mornings besides going to church with his brother.

DEAR ABBY: I was convicted of a crime and did three years on a six-year sentence. My daughter was 2 when I was incarcerated. I was released last year and am currently on parole.

I tried contacting my ex-wife about seeing our daughter and being a part of her life, but I only made things worse. Now she's trying to hide my girl from me. I'm trying my best, but she refuses to put me on child support. What do I do? -- TROUBLED FATHER

DEAR TROUBLED: You may have to take your ex-wife to court. If you're able to afford it, seek advice from an attorney about your options.