DEAR ABBY: My younger sister is planning a destination wedding this summer. Recently she had a courthouse wedding for health insurance purposes because she's going back to school full-time.

I am the matron of honor and she also has a maid of honor (which I am confused about; can you have both?). She is still planning her destination wedding because she won't consider herself "really married" until the formal ceremony. Save-the-date notices were already sent.

I told her I didn't feel comfortable throwing a bachelorette party since she's already married. She was fine with it, and mentioned the maid of honor may have a bonfire with their friends.

I thought a lingerie bridal shower would be nice since they have been living together for some time and don't need household items. Is a bridal shower appropriate after a wedding? I feel it should be lightheartedly disclosed on the bridal shower invitation that they are already married. Is this OK? -- JESSICA, MATRON OF HONOR

DEAR JESSICA: If you wish to throw a lingerie shower, I think it would be sweet, although showers are technically not supposed to be hosted by family members. Her friends would probably enjoy it. But to disclose on the invitation that your sister is already married -- lightheartedly or not -- would be in poor taste.

DEAR ABBY: I have never had a good relationship with my father. He was extremely abusive and controlling when I was growing up. Regardless, I have tried to maintain a relationship with him -- albeit a superficial one -- now that I'm an adult.

For the past few years, Dad has been seeing a woman my age. I have tried my best to maintain a relationship with her as well. The problem is, they are extremely touchy-feely when they're together, and it makes me very uncomfortable. For example, they're always rubbing each other, hanging on each other, or she sits on his lap when we're out for drinks.

I tried to talk to my father about it. He became extremely angry when I asked if they could keep it to a minimum around me. Moreover, they recently let it slip that they started dating before she was 18. I don't feel comfortable with their relationship at all. Am I wrong to feel this way? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE WEST

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: I don't think so. Your feelings are your feelings, and you are entitled to them. Because being around your father and this young lady makes you uncomfortable, consider seeing him one-on-one, apart from her, if he can manage to separate from her for a half-hour or an hour.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I informed my bosses I was pregnant. Within a week, they were trying to fire me and blame it on other things at work that made no sense and hadn't been issues before. They made me sign a letter of reprimand in our first meeting about the "issues."

I spoke with a co-worker who told me she had a similar experience when she announced her pregnancy. I work for a company with a "boys club" mentality, so I didn't try to speak to HR because I was afraid for my already threatened job.

A couple weeks later, I miscarried and everything at work went back to normal. I actually got a raise a month later. Last week, I learned I'm pregnant again. My husband and I are excited about it, but I'm scared to tell my bosses for fear I'll have a repeat of last time.

When should I tell them about my upcoming arrival? And is there anything I can do to protect my job? I have been looking for employment elsewhere, but haven't found anything yet. I need this job or else I would have already left it. -- SCARED IN UTAH

DEAR SCARED: Pregnancy is a natural condition and you should not be punished for it. The first thing you should do is document everything that happened during your first pregnancy. Be sure to include what your co-worker told you happened to her, and how -- after your miscarriage -- all your problems at the office disappeared. Then schedule an appointment with an attorney to ask how you can protect yourself in the months to come.

DEAR ABBY: I have cheated, lied and more. I have made a lot of changes in my life for the better since then, but we all know I'm still a sinner. I have gained a lot of weight over the years, and I hear about it often from my husband and two boys, mostly my sons. My boys are rude and disrespectful to me, and my husband says nothing. They make me feel ugly and worthless.

I know I haven't been the best wife or mother. I thought I was doing better, but I guess not. I'm tired of the name-calling and disrespect. I know I have made mistakes, but must I be put down all the time? One day I feel OK, the next I'm down again. Please help me. -- FEELS UGLY IN TEXAS

DEAR FEELS UGLY: It appears that although your marriage is ongoing, your husband is still punishing you for your "sins" and has enlisted the help of your sons in doing it. I urge you to look into family counseling for all of you. The environment in which your boys are growing up is unhealthy because they are being encouraged to disrespect women. If it's allowed to continue, they will have relationships and marriages just like your own -- ugly and contentious. If you won't seek counseling for yourself, please do it for them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm an 18-year-old guy who's having troubles regarding my family. My parents are divorced, and I moved out of my mom's house after I graduated.

After the divorce, I flipped back and forth between living with either Mom or Dad. I moved into my mother's after an argument with my stepmom, who insists that I call her "Mother." I don't consider her my mother. My father is an alcoholic and was completely impaired when he married her. I've never forgiven him. When I visit, I can't help but feel no longer welcome.

My mother (a hypocritical tiger mom) made my high school career so stressful it pushed me into severe depression, so I spoke to a doctor who prescribed medication for me and gave me therapist referrals. Since I moved out, I've never been happier.

My siblings and I have never been close, other than at times when we needed someone to talk to about our parental situation.

I have been thinking about disappearing and starting a new life on my own with no thought of my family past. I'm not sure if it's worth fixing the mess my family has become. Advice? -- BREAKING AWAY

DEAR BREAKING: For your stepmother to demand that you call her "Mother" was wrong. She is not and never will be your mother. (Besides, you already have one of those.) For your mother to have pushed you to succeed academically is normal when a parent thinks her child has potential that isn't being realized. That she was so heavy-handed that it had the opposite effect is very sad.

If you would like to move away and start a new life, no one can stop you. At 18, you are considered an adult. But I do not think it would be healthy for you to do it in anger and without mending fences, if that's possible. Running away will not have the effect you're looking for because your family will still be living in your head.

DEAR ABBY: I believe my wife is egocentric. She has five framed pictures of herself around the house. Even the wallpaper on her tablet is of herself. If we have a disagreement about anything, she won't talk to me for days unless I break the ice. It's ruining our 2 1/2-year marriage. Any suggestions? -- MYSTIFIED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR MYSTIFIED: Yes, be less quick to judge her because of the photos she keeps around the house. The reason may have less to do with egocentricity than insecurity.

What's destroying your marriage isn't the pictures; it's your wife's inability to fight fair. Her silent treatment is emotionally abusive; it's not a healthy way to solve a disagreement. A licensed marriage and family therapist may be able to help the two of you communicate more effectively. If your wife won't agree to it, go alone.

DEAR ABBY: Should I marry someone who doesn't love me more than anyone in this world? -- JIM IN VIRGINIA

DEAR JIM: I think that depends on who else the person loves.