DEAR ABBY: I'm a teenage girl who has always heard and seen on TV and in movies that there's pressure from guys to have sex. That may be true, but I feel there is also pressure from society. I never thought I would feel like that when I got to high school, but now I do. It hurts, and I am writing this for all the girls who feel the same way I do about it. I have been struggling with it for a few days, and it is messing with me a lot.

I know I don't want to have sex yet, but I still feel like I have to. "Tom" really wants to, but he isn't a virgin. It scares me, and while he isn't pressuring me, I feel like there is a boulder on my shoulders. If you know how I can stop feeling like this, please let me know. -- PRESSURE FROM SOCIETY

DEAR PRESSURE: A surefire way to feel less pressured into doing something you're not ready for would be to stop assuming Tom's sex drive is your responsibility.

Remember that although many teenage girls have been pressured into having sex, a sizable number have not. If you choose to wait until you are older, that's your privilege, because regardless of what you're seeing on TV and in the movies, "everyone else" isn't doing it.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have two amazing children, and while they do require a lot of attention, I feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. My wife works third shift, while I work 8 to 5. She's off two days out of two weeks, but even then, she's on call it seems like all the time. When I try to make time for us, things come up more often than not and it gets pushed aside.

We used to have time for each other, and we are talking about having another child. How do I find the time for one more child when we don't have enough time for each other? I'm beginning to think she doesn't want to be around me anymore, or she's no longer in love with me or that she's cheating on me. I don't want to believe it, but I don't know what else to think. What should I do? -- NEEDS TIME TOGETHER

DEAR NEEDS TIME: Have you told your wife all the things you are telling me? If you haven't, place it at the top of your agenda. Feeling the way you do, you should be talking about improving your marriage before enlarging your family and the responsibilities that go along with it. Not only should you and your wife be scheduling alone time together, you should also consult a licensed family therapist to reopen the lines of communication between the two of you.

DEAR ABBY: Could you please tell me what's proper in a situation like this? My husband and I are always invited to his family's holiday celebrations. When we accept, the invitation is also extended to my mother and sister. If my husband and I are unable to attend, should my mother and sister still go or consider their invitation canceled? -- JAN IN SAN CLEMENTE, CALIF.

DEAR JAN: If the invitations that were extended were accepted by your mother and sister, and they are expected, they should attend.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I argue more than I'd like. I am pretty easygoing and passive; he likes his feelings to be known. Over time I have become worn down, and my patience has worn thin.

We are starting to rebound from what I call "the year from hell." His drinking and poor choices nearly put us on the street, and I was ready to walk. Things are starting to get better, but what we can't seem to agree on is communication during the day.

Abby, I am on the phone for a living. I cannot stand being on it more than I must be. He calls and/or texts me up to 12 times a day. I can't stand it. Even when I'm busy or give him a time certain when I will call him back, he beeps in before I have the chance.

I am now at the end of my rope. With all that I have dealt with, worked through and put up with, this is something I will not compromise on.

I feel it's more than sufficient to talk on my way in to work, maybe check in around lunch, then on the way home. He feels that because I don't feel the need to call or talk that much that I don't love him. I can't stand listening to the dead air or breathing because there is nothing to talk about. Am I being petty for letting this be the thing that will break us? -- TALKS TOO MUCH IN TEXAS

DEAR TALKS TOO MUCH: If you want to save your marriage after everything you have been through, make the time for marriage counseling. What may destroy your marriage isn't your husband's talking; it's his neediness, insecurity and insensitivity.

Frankly, what you have described strikes me as controlling rather than loving behavior. After the struggles you have described, you have already proven your love for him. Being at his beck and call during the workday should not be an additional requirement.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law is extremely allergic to cats. We have six cats, but live 1,000 miles away from her. When her 8-year-old son comes to visit, he has a Ziploc bag full of clean clothes that he puts on before he goes home. The clothes he wore here are sealed up at the end of his trip to be washed.

I'm OK with this. But I need some advice for an upcoming big family holiday gathering. We have all been courteously asked to wash our clothes before coming, to vacuum our vehicles and to limit our contact with cats before arriving. Am I wrong to feel like it's her problem, not ours? -- WHOSE PROBLEM IS IT

DEAR WHOSE PROBLEM: Yes, you are wrong. When a family member has a health problem that can be triggered by the others, it becomes everyone's problem. If the steps needed to keep her safe are too much for you, you should stay home.

DEAR ABBY: Is it cheating to proofread your college-aged child's final before he/she turns it in? -- WONDERING IN ORANGE, CALIF.

DEAR WONDERING: To read it? No. To correct it, yes.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17 and so is my boyfriend. He is an only child, and all throughout his life, his parents have put a lot of pressure on him. Recently, they've been talking about him getting into an honors program in a college. Abby, his parents act like if he doesn't get in, they won't be proud of him. He always feels like he's disappointing them because they never give him any words of encouragement or let him know he's on the right track.

It seems to me that he just wants to know that they're proud of him. It's hard for me to constantly try to support him through this because he needs his parents' approval, and I can't give that to him. Is there any way I can help him? He refuses to talk it out with his parents, but I just want them to be on the same page. Can I help without getting too involved with their family dynamics? -- THERE FOR HIM IN DALLAS

DEAR THERE FOR HIM: Much as you would like to help your boyfriend, if you approach his parents about the way they are raising their son, it won't help the situation. The odds are great that it will cause them to resent you. However, if your boyfriend would discuss this with a counselor at school or a teacher he trusts, that person -- an educator who is a contemporary of your boyfriend's parents -- might suggest that their son needs positive reinforcement to reach his full potential.

DEAR ABBY: I was married for many years to my ex-wife. I met another woman, wound up divorced, and I am now with this other woman.

The problem is, my ex is disabled. Somebody stays with her during the week and cooks for her and such. Sundays are different, and I usually bring food to her, which takes about an hour.

My new lady friend is having a fit about this to the point that we may break up over it. Am I wrong for helping my ex, who has very little family and no children? -- GOOD DEED PUNISHED IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR GOOD DEED: You are a kind and caring individual. That your new lady friend cannot recognize this for what it is, an act of compassion, and realize that you would do the same for her if she needed it, is sad. You are not wrong for helping your ex, since there is no one else who seems willing. If this woman is so threatened that she can't cut you some slack one hour a week, perhaps breaking up would be best for both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I am biting my tongue all the way through at work. One co-worker regularly brings her breakfast to eat. The other, even worse, comes in with wet hair and uses a curling iron at her computer station -- in shared space! Am I too old-fashioned? -- BITING MY TONGUE

DEAR BITING: Many people bring their breakfast to work. Unless there is a rule against it, I see nothing wrong with it.

As to your other co-worker, I agree what she's doing is inappropriate. She'd probably do a better job if she groomed herself in the restroom or at home before work. Is your supervisor or boss aware she's doing it? If not, the person should be informed. If so, then MYOB.