DEAR ABBY: I have hearing loss. My insurance isn't very good, and the monthly payments for hearing aids are the equivalent of a car payment, so I try my best and do without. People who know about my hearing loss will talk louder for me or let me know when they need my attention. Even strangers will repeat themselves or talk louder if I say I'm hard of hearing.
The problem is that my husband refuses to talk louder for me or make any attempt to improve our communication. He has gone as far as to threaten that he just won't talk to me anymore because he's sick of repeating himself. No matter how many times I say I can't hear, he practically whispers or will scream at the top of his lungs at me to make a point. It's like he's taking my hearing loss personally, as though somehow my hearing loss is my fault. I also feel he may have an ulterior motive for talking softer.
I feel depressed and isolated, and I'm not sure what to do. My marriage is falling apart. Any advice is appreciated. -- I CAN'T HEAR YOU IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR CAN'T HEAR: Of course you feel depressed and isolated! Your husband either doesn't like or hasn't accepted the fact that you have a hearing disability, so he's punishing you for it. What he's doing is emotionally abusive.
Please have your hearing checked by an audiologist to determine how much of your hearing you have lost. Take your husband along so a professional can explain it to him. And be sure to ask if there may be lower-cost options for an assistive device that won't bust your budget.