DEAR ABBY: I am a man who owns a large four-bedroom home, and I have two tenants. One pays the rent on time, helps with cleaning and yard work, and is an all-around great roommate. The other has been here for four months, has never paid his rent on time and always disappears when we must clear off the driveway or do yard work.

The major problem I have with this guy is he sleepwalks -- at least he claims he does. He opens doors at night. Some mornings I have found the front door or garage door wide open.

Additionally, he raids the refrigerator late at night. He claims he doesn't realize he's doing it. It's really annoying to find food I prepared the night before to take to work has been eaten.

I have spoken to him about it on numerous occasions, and he claims that he can't control his sleepwalking. I feel he should have told me about his issues prior to signing the lease. None of the references he gave mentioned his sleepwalking.

Is it considered a disability? Would I be discriminating against a disability if I chose to not renew his lease because of his sleepwalking? -- LANDLORD IN WISCONSIN

DEAR LANDLORD: Because doors are being left open, it might be in your interest to install inexpensive security cameras. Sleepwalking (and sleep eating) can be symptoms of a sleep disorder, or possibly be caused by certain sleep medications. If your tenant is unaware of this, he should be informed and advised to be evaluated at a sleep disorder clinic.

Because he doesn't pay rent on time or do other things expected of him, you may not be obligated to renew his lease. My advice is to talk to a lawyer about how -- and whether -- you can get rid of this tenant.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-mother-in-law, "Blanche," takes my 14-year-old daughter, "Grace," shopping often. I was grateful at first, but now she buys her anything she wants.

Grace has a high school dance soon, and I was looking forward to shopping with her. But before I could go, Blanche took her and bought her a $299 dress. I wasn't consulted because Grace knew I would've said no. She's a freshman and that's just way too much money to spend.

I asked them to take the dress back, and Blanche said OK. A week later I called her to explain why I said no, but instead of listening, she told me it was her Christmas and birthday present for Grace, and she wasn't taking it back.

My daughter never spends that kind of money. Grace said she was keeping the dress, and I told her she was not wearing it. How do I explain this to my daughter who has become self-entitled because of her grandmother? -- ANYTHING SHE WANTS

DEAR ANYTHING: You have already explained it to your daughter. You told her it was too much money to spend. The problem isn't just Grace, it's also your ex-mother-in-law. You are Grace's mother, and your wishes should have been respected. I don't blame you for being angry.

DEAR ABBY: My brother and his wife recently had their second child through induced labor. On the delivery day, my mother asked what she could do to help. My brother asked her to go to his home, which is an hour away, sweep and vacuum the house, change the sheets and do the laundry because they didn't have time.

I feel it was extremely inappropriate. Picking up diapers and making sure the bassinet has clean sheets are acceptable requests; cleaning the house is not. My mother wasn't bothered by it, but I am appalled. Am I wrong? -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR STUCK: You are entitled to your feelings. However, because your mother wasn't bothered by your brother's request, my advice is to stay out of it because it was none of your business. Please don't stir the pot more than you already may have because the person who will suffer for it is you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a mom who raised three kids and now I help with the grandchildren. I had dogs all my life until my last one died of old age. I was enjoying life with no responsibilities and could walk out of my house without worry.

My friend, who lives in an apartment, asked me to keep her cat, "Fluffy," while she was on vacation. I gladly helped her out and carefully took care of her cat. Now Fluffy loves being at my house and acts mean when she goes back to the apartment. The only answer was to keep Fluffy, but I don't want a cat!

How do I get rid of a cat who loves being at my house? I'm miserable because I miss my carefree life after many years of caring for others. -- PET-FREE IN ALABAMA

DEAR PET-FREE: You have done enough. If you can, figure out why Fluffy is happy with you so you can share that information with her owner as you return her. You deserve the carefree life you have earned.

DEAR ABBY: My son volunteers as a chaperone for his daughters' elementary school field trips. Each parent volunteer is assigned five or six children.

Before they board the bus, my son gathers his group and tells them they are going to take a memory picture. He does it because if a child is ever lost, he wants a photo to immediately show any responding police officers. His exact words to me were, "Mom, in an emergency, I might not remember what a child was wearing, what her backpack looked like or how tall she is."

He never tells the children the real reason for taking the picture. Afterward, he just emails it to any child who wants a souvenir of the trip. -- PROUD OF MY SON

DEAR PROUD: Congratulations for having raised a smart son. My readers will let us know if his idea is original, but it's a good one, which is why I'm printing your letter. For anyone supervising a group of children, this could be a helpful suggestion.

DEAR ABBY: I live with my fiance, and we are being married in eight months. When I asked him if he would go and stay with his parents or some friends on a weekend when my girlfriend comes into town so we can have girl time, he got highly offended and said he isn't leaving "his" house. I pay more than he does in rent, and I don't feel I should have to rent a separate place.

He doesn't understand girl time: drinking wine, watching chick-flicks and talking about our lives. I want to dedicate all my time that weekend to being a good friend, but he doesn't get it. I have told him that if he ever wanted me to go stay with friends or visit my parents so he could have a guys' weekend, I would have no problem with it. Am I asking for too much? -- NEEDS GIRL TIME IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR NEEDS: Yes. I think expecting your fiance to leave when your girlfriend comes to visit is a bit much. Do you plan to make the same request after you are married? Regardless of who pays more rent, the house is home to both of you.

I would think that the idea of being subjected to one of your "girls' weekends" -- the wine, the chick-flicks, the gossip -- would motivate him to make other plans. However, because he is unwilling, you and your girlfriend should consider splitting the cost of a hotel room for the weekend, which might be more enjoyable for all three of you.

DEAR ABBY: Over the last 13 years in his job, my husband developed a "very friendly" relationship with a clerical person. Now that he has retired, she wants to continue it by meeting with him (and me) for dinner. We have had dinner together once, and when they began to talk shop, I became the odd one out.

Although I interjected myself into the conversation, it was clear there is real feeling between them. He says she's "just so nice." She continues to send emails addressed to both of us and asks me (since he is not computer savvy) to relay that she misses him greatly and he was her "ray of sunshine" every day when he would walk in the office.

Should I be worried, jealous or envious? It is only now I have become aware that she was so important to my husband at work. I had no knowledge about their relationship before. -- UNCERTAIN IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR UNCERTAIN: I don't think you have anything to worry about. That the conversation at dinner revolved around the office is not surprising. The office and the job were the basis of their relationship. Because she's sending emails addressed to both of you, I doubt she's trying to slip anything past you or make a play for your husband. Be patient, and with time, I suspect she will adjust to the loss of her "ray of sunshine."

DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving would be complete without sharing the traditional prayer penned by my dear late mother:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank Thee for friends and remember the friendless.

We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service.

That Thy gifts to us may be used for others.

Amen.

Have a safe and happy celebration, everyone! -- Love, ABBY