DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to "Wallowing in the North" (June 16), who has had a wonderful life and has accomplished all the goals he set out for himself at age 56, but now feels no "spark" to carry on. Abby, he's in a unique position to help someone else who hasn't had all those advantages in life.

He could foster a child and enlighten that child about a world he/she might never know without his help. Wouldn't it spark something inside him to see a child's reactions to things the writer may have experienced a hundred times and took for granted? There's so much ugliness and anger in this world. He could play a small part in turning that around.

Or, if helping a child isn't for him, there are many other wonderful causes to get involved in -- aiding a cancer patient in hospice, being involved in protecting the environment, helping a small business -- the list is endless and the need is so great. Any of these endeavors could help him relight his spark. Finding meaning in life can be as simple as extending a hand to someone who can really use it. -- FOUND MY SPARK

DEAR FOUND: You and many other readers offered wonderful suggestions. I appreciate the spirit of helpfulness in which readers responded, hoping to inspire the writer of that letter. Read on for a sample:

DEAR ABBY: Tell "Wallowing" to pick up a course catalog from his local community college and enroll in some classes. He can take art and learn to paint, sculpt or make ceramics; study photography and learn to shoot better pictures; take woodworking and build furniture; take an American Sign Language class and volunteer to work with the deaf; or sign up for a foreign language, culinary or film appreciation course.

I'm just scratching the surface because community colleges have something for everyone. I have taught in one and been an administrator. It's a wonderful place to "find" yourself, whether you're 18, 88 -- or 56. -- DIANA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: If "Wallowing" is truly tired of dealing with most people, he may want to begin connecting with nature. He could plant or nurture a garden, or install a few birdhouses and let the birds happily serenade him each day. Engaging with nature can change a person for the better and can also change the lives of those around you. -- NATURE LOVER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ABBY: I would like to suggest "Wallowing" talk to his doctor about his testosterone level. I did it, and it boosted my self-esteem, drive and energy. -- ROGER IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR ABBY: May I suggest he have his vitamin D levels checked? I, too, experienced a loss of desire/passion for life when I was close to his age. Turned out, my vitamin D levels were extremely low. Once I started taking a supplement, my interest and excitement in life returned. -- BEEN THROUGH IT IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR ABBY: Your advice should have included becoming active in a church, synagogue or charitable organization. Helping others, whether locally or on a mission trip, yields three results: It has a positive impact on those being helped, it increases the giver's sense of self-worth, and it reminds us how blessed we truly are. -- LOVER OF LIFE IN TEXAS

DEAR LOVER AND DEAR READERS: Amen!

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 45 years. My husband and I get along fine. We each have our little quirks, but after all these years, we are used to each other. There is just one thing that really bugs me about him. When repairs need to be done outside the house, we have it done -- new roof, new siding, driveway paved, even solar panels. We have also done some work inside, such as remodeling the kitchen and bathrooms.

Twelve years after moving into our home, I finally insisted that it be repainted on the inside. My husband griped about it nonstop. I told him he didn't have to do the painting; we would hire someone to do the job. (He did have to help me move the furniture.)

Well, now it's time to replace the carpet. It's original. It's 30 years old, stained and worn out. Again, he's griping and complaining. It drives a wedge between us. Money isn't the issue. He says I am "always bothering him with one thing after another." Is it asking too much to have these things done inside my home after so many years? -- "NAGGING" WIFE

DEAR WIFE: I don't think so. Nothing lasts forever, and that includes carpet. Make a deal with him -- you will hire someone to move the furniture this time if he will stop complaining. The disruption will be over in a few days, and the interior of your home will look fresher and newer once that carpet is history.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I don't think you have ever addressed. Both of my testicles have been removed. Fortunately, they were not cancerous. It doesn't bother my wife, which is a blessing. Most support groups are for cancer survivors, and I'm wondering if you know of any groups for men like me. Some days I still can't cope with it because this is part of being a man. Any suggestions? -- TRYING TO COPE IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR TRYING TO COPE: The doctor who saw you through the procedure may be able to refer you to a group or a therapist who can help you with your adjustment. If you haven't already contacted that physician, it would be a good place to start. Although most members of support groups are probably cancer survivors, you still will have much in common, so keep an open mind before dismissing the idea entirely.

DEAR ABBY: What is the appropriate response when I get an invitation to go somewhere and I must decline because I can't afford it or don't want to pay for it? I'm trying to cut my expenses, and I'm embarrassed that I can't afford any new expenses.

I appreciate the invitations, and sometimes, if it's worth it to me, I will accept. I don't want to lie when I really want to say, "This expense isn't worth it to me." What can I say that won't hurt anyone's feelings and won't get me caught in a lie? -- DON'T WANT TO LIE

DEAR DON'T WANT TO LIE: It isn't shameful to admit to someone that money is tight and you have to cut expenses, so you can't attend an event. It's something that everyone should be able to identify with. However, you should refrain from saying the expense "isn't worth it to you," because it comes across as judgmental, and the person may take offense.

DEAR ABBY: I am pregnant. Because of this, my father-in-law has started to dote on me, especially with food. He says cooking is his passion, but he's a horrible cook. Every time he shows up, he brings something he spent hours making and I feel obligated to eat.

My husband stepped in briefly when his father kept making me spinach quiche. After one slice I got sick. My FIL kept bringing more quiche over until my husband told him it was one of my trigger foods for nausea.

The thing is, all of his cooking triggers my nausea. How can I get my FIL to back off? It was bad enough eating his food before I was pregnant, but I can no longer stand it. It's a waste of his time and a waste of food. -- NAUSEATED IN THE EAST

DEAR NAUSEATED: It's time for you to speak up for yourself. Tell your father-in-law you appreciate his trying to nurture you, but that in your present condition you cannot eat any of it because of the violent nausea it brings on. Many women share your problem during pregnancy, by the way.

When the baby arrives, tell him you will remain on a restricted diet as long as you are nursing. Surely you are aware that women have been known to nurse their little ones for years. Once your child is ready to enter preschool, if your FIL is still trying to bring food over, tell him thank you but please stop cooking for you because your palate and his are just too different. It's the truth.

DEAR ABBY: My mom recently moved from her home to a memory care facility. While she has no short-term memory left, she's happy, lighthearted and remembers her life and friends well.

I want to send a short change of address note to people across the country whom my mom has known for the past 70 years, to let them know how to reach her, or that they can drop by if they are in her city. I'm having trouble deciding how much to say and what is appropriate. I read your column daily, and your examples of how to phrase things are smart and spot-on. Please give me some direction. -- NEEDS GUIDANCE

DEAR NEEDS GUIDANCE: Consider wording your message like this:

"I'm writing to let you know that Mom is no longer living in her house on Summerville Place. She recently moved to an assisted living facility called Memory Lane. Her address is _____________________________, and her phone number is ___-___-____. She is happy and lighthearted and remembers you all with great affection. If you are passing through her city, feel free to drop by and visit. I know she would love to see you and reminisce."

DEAR ABBY: I'm from the South and have an accent, although not a strong one. I was around some people from the North who made fun of my accent, which I did not find funny. I finally asked them to please stop, and the response was, "We just love to hear you talk!" How do I handle people who make fun of me? -- NOT FUNNY IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR NOT FUNNY: Ridiculing others isn't funny; it's rude. The way to handle people like this is to avoid them.