DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together 21 years, married for 17. We recently did a short sale on our home and moved to Texas. It was a professional move for my husband.

At first I was wowed; then I grew homesick for my family, my job and my friends. My husband was not supportive of my emotional needs.

Three years later, my husband has announced his engagement to another woman via the internet. He has been seeing her all this time, while financially supporting my household and saying, "Goodbye, I love you," at the end of our phone calls and texts.

Needless to say, I have filed for divorce. His "cupcake" doesn't know he's still married and has large debts from our relationship as well as this new one, so she's in for a big financial surprise.

In the meantime, we'll communicate amicably. I still love him. I want to expose him to her. I don't think she'd be making wedding plans if she knew he was still married. Should I let them figure it out for themselves or maybe spend my lifetime with regrets? -- HEAVY HEART, NO REGRETS

DEAR HEAVY HEART: If you want to do the cupcake a "favor" and expose your almost-ex, I can't stop you. But if you do, you can bet your divorce will be anything but amicable, and I have serious doubts that you'll achieve your goal.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is always grabbing me in a sexual way. I find it demeaning and annoying. When I ask him to stop, he says it's normal and I should be glad he's still interested in me. He says it's my job to "take care of my man," even if it means being awakened in the middle of the night. Is this normal? -- MANHANDLED IN GEORGIA

DEAR MANHANDLED: When a man approaches a woman in a sexual way, it is supposed to be pleasurable for both parties. If one of them asks the other to stop and the person doesn't, it becomes more of an assault than foreplay. It is not your "job" to have sex with your husband when he wakes you up in the middle of the night demanding it. That borders on coercion, and it is not "normal."

DEAR ABBY: My younger brother smokes, but not cigarettes. Recently, he has been taking a pipe to school. I'm the one who drives him to the bus stop every morning, and I've told him to leave it at home, but he refuses to listen to me. I'm worried he's going to get caught by the campus police, get kicked out of our very nice school and develop a criminal record. I can't tell our parents because that will do more harm than good, and I can't make him listen to me. What do I do? -- SMOKING MAD OLDER SISTER

DEAR SISTER: Ask yourself which will do your brother more good -- telling your parents what he has been up to so they can intervene, or remaining silent and letting him get kicked out of school for being stoned in class? Tell your parents!

DEAR ABBY: Last year I had a baby with one of my college professors. He left me 10 days before our daughter was born and has never met her. I chased him through family court, and he gives me the bare minimum in state-ordered support.

Recently, I spotted him advertising himself on a dating website as a loving man and describing how he loves his first daughter with no mention of ours (he has two other children, a girl and a boy). How do I move past this? A part of me is angry for her, but I'm also angry for myself. I'm in therapy, but seeing him on a dating website describing himself as a good person, when in truth he's a sociopath, has reopened wounds I thought had closed months ago. -- OPEN WOUNDS

DEAR OPEN WOUNDS: Thank you for writing to me, but this is a question you should be addressing with your psychotherapist. Sometimes it takes multiple doses of "medicine" to cure an ailment, but the longer you allow this man to occupy real estate in your head, the harder it will be for you to get on with your life. Call your therapist.

DEAR ABBY: I love my fiance with all my heart. We have good friends and family. The problem is, my fiance loves to talk. He talks a lot.

I've known this since I met him, but because I don't talk much, it doesn't bother me. I like listening to his stories. However, I can see our friends getting annoyed because of his constant talking. It also happens when we are around his family -- and they usually end up treating him badly for it.

Is there any way I can gently talk to him about this so he's aware that he is irritating people? I don't want to hurt him, but I also don't want him to annoy people. I'm also afraid it may affect his employment. His co-workers get that same look on their faces when he's talking that his family members do when they are annoyed with him. -- ENGAGED TO A BIG TALKER

DEAR ENGAGED: Your fiance may have difficulty picking up on social cues, which is why he doesn't notice that others become annoyed as he drones on and on. You should absolutely point out to him what you have noticed, and tell him you are concerned that it may affect his employment. Then suggest he discuss his compulsive talking with a licensed mental health professional. This is not to imply there is anything "wrong" with him, but rather that he may benefit from professional help in recognizing the social cues he is missing.

A NOTE TO PARENTS OF YOUNG CHILDREN: Tonight is the night when wee witches and goblins will be out trick-or-treating. Please supervise them so they'll be safe. Happy Halloween, everyone! -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Eileen" is married to her second husband, a man I'll call Harry. He's nice, but some of his choices landed him in jail for a while. I'm polite when we see him, but I don't trust him.

Eileen and Harry live beyond their means. They rent a large house and buy luxury cars rather than something more economical. These are my observations; I never mention them to my sister. Although she's happy to give advice on what's wrong with my life, she becomes defensive if anyone else says anything about how she lives.

My concern is, she refuses to visit or spend time with me and my family without her husband. Before our mom's death a few years ago, I offered to buy her an airline ticket to fly here for a few days to visit. Because she's very organized, I recently invited her to come -- at my expense -- and offered to pay her to help me declutter my house. She declined both invitations because I wouldn't buy a ticket for Harry. (I didn't have the money.)

I think my sister's marriage is very co-dependent. Abby, what should I do? -- WANTS SOME SISTER TIME

DEAR WANTS SOME SISTER TIME: While Harry may have made some poor choices in the past -- for which he has paid the penalty -- he seems to make your sister happy. Assuming that you have told her you love and miss her and would like to be able to spend "sister time" with her, I think it's time to accept that they are a package deal and stop trying to separate them.

Because you crave sister time, offer to go there and visit her. She seems to be happily living the life she has chosen, so stop putting negative labels on her relationship with her husband.

DEAR ABBY: I never thought I'd be writing you, but I have a situation that needs an objective opinion.

My husband works for a small company owned by a nice couple. They have a teenage daughter who keeps asking to baby-sit our three kids. Abby, we have a special needs child and a new baby. Although the girl seems to be kind and responsible, our children would be a challenge for an adult, let alone a teenager.

Also, we are on a very tight, one-income budget with money needed for therapies. I don't want to mention it because I don't want to insinuate they aren't paying my husband enough, but it is a serious deterrent.

How can I gracefully decline her offers without offending my husband's employer? Keeping him in good standing with his company is my primary concern because he works hard and loves his job. -- ANONYMOUS IN THE USA

DEAR ANONYMOUS: Explain your refusal as an abridged version of what you wrote to me. Thank the girl for her kind offer and tell her that because your older child has special needs and the baby requires constant supervision, you prefer not to have anyone baby-sit until they are older. The explanation is reasonable, logical and the truth.