DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old single mother of two small children. My 5-year-old son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I'm the only one in my family who has been trained in his care, so I understand the importance of a healthy diet, proper insulin dosage, checking his blood sugar, etc., and that unless his diabetes is properly managed, it could lead to serious health issues -- even death.

I have explained these things to my mother and attempted to train her several times, yet she continues to do things she shouldn't be doing. She stops by my house almost every night with "treats" like candy, ice cream, chocolate bars, doughnuts, etc. When I get upset about it, she'll casually reply, "Oh, whatever. If you dose him for the carbs in it, he's fine," which is not the case. Yes, he can have a treat now and then, but overall, he needs to stay away from that stuff.

It is extremely frustrating that she refuses to listen to me and continues to disrespect my wishes. I don't know what else to do. We have fought repeatedly over this, and she keeps telling me I'm "overreacting." I'm terrified my son will have permanent damage because of this. How do I get her to stop and listen to me? -- FRUSTRATED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You have allowed your son's medical condition to become a power struggle between you and your mother. Schedule an appointment with your son's pediatrician so your mother can have the facts of life explained to her. If that doesn't help her to accept reality, then understand that she can't be trusted. Do not allow her to drop by with goodies, and supervise any contact he has with her. It is your job to protect your little boy, even from your obtuse mother, if necessary.

DEAR ABBY: I am having a difficult time relating to my older daughter. One reason is that when she was 18, I co-signed a $4,000 loan for school. She's now turning 29 and still hasn't paid the loan back. I talk to her about it often and she says, "I'll take care of it," but she never does.

I'm a single mom and still raising a daughter. I'm trying to buy a place of our own, but I am encountering credit problems because of the loan. I don't know what to do. She has my two grandsons, and if I take her to court, I'll never see them again. Please help me. -- HURT MOM IN GEORGIA

DEAR HURT MOM: If you have explained to your older daughter that you need the money now, and have written proof that the loan was made with the promise that it would be repaid, your next step should be to talk to an attorney. And if your daughter retaliates by depriving her children of their grandmother, so be it. At least you and your younger daughter will have a better chance of having a roof of your own over your heads. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I will soon be married 48 years, but it is not much of a marriage. There is no sex, no touching, no kind and compassionate words, only bickering and arguing. I can't figure out why I'm still here. I have thought about leaving many times.

I have written three books, and because of it, my husband has ridiculed me. I have also owned and operated two businesses. I'm active in the community, which he resents. He is an introvert, while I am an extrovert. He no longer accompanies me to activities, but when he did, he would make snide remarks to people who stopped to chat with us. So I no longer invite him. Help me, please! -- SAD, LONELY WIFE

DEAR WIFE: I will try. If you are asking my permission to divorce your husband, I can't give it to you. Instead, I suggest you ask yourself why you have tolerated such a lonely marriage for 48 years and what you feel you would have to gain by leaving. As an intelligent woman, once you answer that, I think you will know what to do.

DEAR ABBY: I am a mother of two. I share 50 percent custody of my children with their father. My children also have two stepparents.

How involved in decision-making should the stepparents be? I value their opinions, but I think I know what is best for my children. Their stepmother isn't particularly involved in their activities or pickups and drop-offs, but never hesitates to interject her opinions about what I should do with their time. It causes communication problems between their father and me. I don't want to be rude to her. Where does the line need to be drawn? -- MOMMA KNOWS BEST

DEAR MOMMA KNOWS BEST: Give your ex's current wife the benefit of the doubt. She may be trying to be helpful. Then, for the sake of your own sanity, simply ignore her comments and continue communicating with your ex in parenting matters.

DEAR ABBY: Many years ago, as I was about to graduate from college and begin looking for a job, I read a book called "Dress for Success." One of the things I remember from it is that a man's tie should be tied to a length that is between the last button of his shirt and the top of his belt buckle.

Since the last election I have noticed that many politicians, our new president included, wear their ties several inches below their belt. Is this a fashion trend or just them being unique? -- CHRIS IN WASHINGTON

DEAR CHRIS: I brought your question to the attention of the Brooks Brothers corporate office and was told that what you read in "Dress for Success" was correct. That some people wear their ties longer is an individual style decision, and not a fashion trend.

DEAR ABBY: My 36-year-old son lives with me, which benefits both of us. I am retired and his income helps. The problem I'm having is he hoards garbage.

It's terrible. There's garbage on his bed, and it has reached the ceiling in other parts of the room. This has been going on for many years.

Two years ago, I filled up two large garbage bags to throw out. It didn't even make a dent. When he got home, he was furious and deducted $50 from the rent because he felt I needed to have consequences for what I did. I realized then how serious this is. I know it's a health hazard as well as a fire hazard.

I'm at my wits' end. I understand this has to do with loss, and he has had many, including a dad who left when I was pregnant. There has been no contact during his lifetime. Please help. -- SON'S A HOARDER

DEAR SON'S A HOARDER: Your son is suffering from a mental disorder. There is help for it -- if he is willing to admit that he needs it.

A licensed mental health professional could help him understand why he is hoarding and motivate him to change the habits that have led to it. There are also medications that can lessen his compulsion to hoard. However, it won't happen unless you finally put your foot down and inform your son that what he's doing is a health and safety hazard, and a risk you will no longer tolerate. Tell him that unless he gets help, he will no longer be able to live under your roof.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 68-year-old male reader, married, with many friends and acquaintances. My best friend ("Brent") has a long-time girlfriend ("Judy") we are with all the time. There is also another couple ("Tom" and "Sue") we like very much.

The six of us have gone out and had what I thought was a good time, but when I proposed another get-together, Judy said she felt Sue was condescending and unfriendly to her. I have never experienced this with Sue, and I didn't observe anything like that when we were all together, but I suppose I could be oblivious.

My problem is, there are times it's awkward to not invite Tom and Sue (as well as the fact I have fun with them and would like them there). Is there something I can do to change this situation? -- AWKWARD IN THE EAST

DEAR AWKWARD: Do not get into a squabble between the two women. If Judy prefers not to socialize with Sue, she may not accept an invitation if she knows Sue will be present, which is her privilege. Because you like both couples, see them separately until this blows over -- if it ever does. If you are asked why the dynamic has changed, tell Brent the truth about what Judy told you so he won't think it has anything to do with him.

DEAR READERS: Today marks the celebration of Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights. It spiritually signifies the victory of light over darkness, good over evil, knowledge over ignorance and hope over despair. My best wishes to all who celebrate it.