DEAR ABBY: I will soon be married 48 years, but it is not much of a marriage. There is no sex, no touching, no kind and compassionate words, only bickering and arguing. I can't figure out why I'm still here. I have thought about leaving many times.

I have written three books, and because of it, my husband has ridiculed me. I have also owned and operated two businesses. I'm active in the community, which he resents. He is an introvert, while I am an extrovert. He no longer accompanies me to activities, but when he did, he would make snide remarks to people who stopped to chat with us. So I no longer invite him. Help me, please! -- SAD, LONELY WIFE

DEAR WIFE: I will try. If you are asking my permission to divorce your husband, I can't give it to you. Instead, I suggest you ask yourself why you have tolerated such a lonely marriage for 48 years and what you feel you would have to gain by leaving. As an intelligent woman, once you answer that, I think you will know what to do.

DEAR ABBY: I am a mother of two. I share 50 percent custody of my children with their father. My children also have two stepparents.

How involved in decision-making should the stepparents be? I value their opinions, but I think I know what is best for my children. Their stepmother isn't particularly involved in their activities or pickups and drop-offs, but never hesitates to interject her opinions about what I should do with their time. It causes communication problems between their father and me. I don't want to be rude to her. Where does the line need to be drawn? -- MOMMA KNOWS BEST

DEAR MOMMA KNOWS BEST: Give your ex's current wife the benefit of the doubt. She may be trying to be helpful. Then, for the sake of your own sanity, simply ignore her comments and continue communicating with your ex in parenting matters.

DEAR ABBY: Many years ago, as I was about to graduate from college and begin looking for a job, I read a book called "Dress for Success." One of the things I remember from it is that a man's tie should be tied to a length that is between the last button of his shirt and the top of his belt buckle.

Since the last election I have noticed that many politicians, our new president included, wear their ties several inches below their belt. Is this a fashion trend or just them being unique? -- CHRIS IN WASHINGTON

DEAR CHRIS: I brought your question to the attention of the Brooks Brothers corporate office and was told that what you read in "Dress for Success" was correct. That some people wear their ties longer is an individual style decision, and not a fashion trend.

DEAR ABBY: My 36-year-old son lives with me, which benefits both of us. I am retired and his income helps. The problem I'm having is he hoards garbage.

It's terrible. There's garbage on his bed, and it has reached the ceiling in other parts of the room. This has been going on for many years.

Two years ago, I filled up two large garbage bags to throw out. It didn't even make a dent. When he got home, he was furious and deducted $50 from the rent because he felt I needed to have consequences for what I did. I realized then how serious this is. I know it's a health hazard as well as a fire hazard.

I'm at my wits' end. I understand this has to do with loss, and he has had many, including a dad who left when I was pregnant. There has been no contact during his lifetime. Please help. -- SON'S A HOARDER

DEAR SON'S A HOARDER: Your son is suffering from a mental disorder. There is help for it -- if he is willing to admit that he needs it.

A licensed mental health professional could help him understand why he is hoarding and motivate him to change the habits that have led to it. There are also medications that can lessen his compulsion to hoard. However, it won't happen unless you finally put your foot down and inform your son that what he's doing is a health and safety hazard, and a risk you will no longer tolerate. Tell him that unless he gets help, he will no longer be able to live under your roof.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 68-year-old male reader, married, with many friends and acquaintances. My best friend ("Brent") has a long-time girlfriend ("Judy") we are with all the time. There is also another couple ("Tom" and "Sue") we like very much.

The six of us have gone out and had what I thought was a good time, but when I proposed another get-together, Judy said she felt Sue was condescending and unfriendly to her. I have never experienced this with Sue, and I didn't observe anything like that when we were all together, but I suppose I could be oblivious.

My problem is, there are times it's awkward to not invite Tom and Sue (as well as the fact I have fun with them and would like them there). Is there something I can do to change this situation? -- AWKWARD IN THE EAST

DEAR AWKWARD: Do not get into a squabble between the two women. If Judy prefers not to socialize with Sue, she may not accept an invitation if she knows Sue will be present, which is her privilege. Because you like both couples, see them separately until this blows over -- if it ever does. If you are asked why the dynamic has changed, tell Brent the truth about what Judy told you so he won't think it has anything to do with him.

DEAR READERS: Today marks the celebration of Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights. It spiritually signifies the victory of light over darkness, good over evil, knowledge over ignorance and hope over despair. My best wishes to all who celebrate it.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years will be attending a bachelor party in Las Vegas. We've never had any issues of infidelity, yet I can't help but feel anxious about his upcoming trip. I know the scene that exists in Vegas -- I'm in my mid-20s and I enjoyed my trips there when I was younger and single.

I'm worried about him and his friends going to strip clubs, topless pool parties, etc. I don't mind him enjoying a trip and going out with the boys, but I think attending an event with nudity is disrespectful to the other person when you're in a long-term, serious relationship. I don't want him to feel he has to tell his friends he can't go to those things. What are your thoughts on this? -- WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS ...

DEAR WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS: You and your boyfriend are both adults. Viewing topless entertainment or attending a topless pool party is not infidelity. If he hasn't given you any reason to worry so far, give him the benefit of the doubt.

P.S. By the way, I have heard that some bachelorette parties can be equally wild. Do you plan to swear off them yourself?

DEAR ABBY: My wife hates Facebook. She has always hated it and never signed up. I have had an account since the site began and maintain many connections with friends, family members who live far away, old teachers -- even my in-laws. I don't discuss it with my wife much because it makes her angry.

I'm not constantly on it, and it's not like I'm doing anything bad. But if she hears from a friend about a funny or insightful comment I made on Facebook, we end up getting into a huge argument because she insists I have to delete my account. The argument always ends with her saying, "You will delete it because I hate it!"

I don't want to delete my Facebook page, and I hate arguing with my wife. What should I do? -- "LIKES" FACEBOOK IN RALEIGH, N.C.

DEAR "LIKES" FACEBOOK: Try to get to the bottom of why she finds your staying in touch with these people threatening, because it appears you married someone who is very controlling. She is your spouse, not your jailer. If you want to participate in social media, continue to do so.

Although you didn't mention it, I can't help but wonder if her jealousy and possessiveness have affected other areas of your life. If that's the case, talk about it with a licensed marriage and family therapist before it drives the two of you apart. If she won't go with you, go alone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a doctor. I give free medical advice to my cousin and her mother several times a month, and have for quite some time now. I do it free of charge because we are family and there's a close bond between us.

My cousin works in marketing, so I asked her if she could help me design my presentation card. She replied that she would give me three designs to choose from, and it would cost roughly $100. I feel it's wrong for her to charge me for her service since I've never charged her. -- FREE OF CHARGE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FREE OF CHARGE: It's possible your cousin was asking to be reimbursed for the cost of the materials involved in creating the cards for you. Before you allow yourself to get into a snit, perhaps you should clarify exactly what you would be paying for.