DEAR ABBY: My 36-year-old son lives with me, which benefits both of us. I am retired and his income helps. The problem I'm having is he hoards garbage.

It's terrible. There's garbage on his bed, and it has reached the ceiling in other parts of the room. This has been going on for many years.

Two years ago, I filled up two large garbage bags to throw out. It didn't even make a dent. When he got home, he was furious and deducted $50 from the rent because he felt I needed to have consequences for what I did. I realized then how serious this is. I know it's a health hazard as well as a fire hazard.

I'm at my wits' end. I understand this has to do with loss, and he has had many, including a dad who left when I was pregnant. There has been no contact during his lifetime. Please help. -- SON'S A HOARDER

DEAR SON'S A HOARDER: Your son is suffering from a mental disorder. There is help for it -- if he is willing to admit that he needs it.

A licensed mental health professional could help him understand why he is hoarding and motivate him to change the habits that have led to it. There are also medications that can lessen his compulsion to hoard. However, it won't happen unless you finally put your foot down and inform your son that what he's doing is a health and safety hazard, and a risk you will no longer tolerate. Tell him that unless he gets help, he will no longer be able to live under your roof.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 68-year-old male reader, married, with many friends and acquaintances. My best friend ("Brent") has a long-time girlfriend ("Judy") we are with all the time. There is also another couple ("Tom" and "Sue") we like very much.

The six of us have gone out and had what I thought was a good time, but when I proposed another get-together, Judy said she felt Sue was condescending and unfriendly to her. I have never experienced this with Sue, and I didn't observe anything like that when we were all together, but I suppose I could be oblivious.

My problem is, there are times it's awkward to not invite Tom and Sue (as well as the fact I have fun with them and would like them there). Is there something I can do to change this situation? -- AWKWARD IN THE EAST

DEAR AWKWARD: Do not get into a squabble between the two women. If Judy prefers not to socialize with Sue, she may not accept an invitation if she knows Sue will be present, which is her privilege. Because you like both couples, see them separately until this blows over -- if it ever does. If you are asked why the dynamic has changed, tell Brent the truth about what Judy told you so he won't think it has anything to do with him.

DEAR READERS: Today marks the celebration of Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights. It spiritually signifies the victory of light over darkness, good over evil, knowledge over ignorance and hope over despair. My best wishes to all who celebrate it.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years will be attending a bachelor party in Las Vegas. We've never had any issues of infidelity, yet I can't help but feel anxious about his upcoming trip. I know the scene that exists in Vegas -- I'm in my mid-20s and I enjoyed my trips there when I was younger and single.

I'm worried about him and his friends going to strip clubs, topless pool parties, etc. I don't mind him enjoying a trip and going out with the boys, but I think attending an event with nudity is disrespectful to the other person when you're in a long-term, serious relationship. I don't want him to feel he has to tell his friends he can't go to those things. What are your thoughts on this? -- WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS ...

DEAR WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS: You and your boyfriend are both adults. Viewing topless entertainment or attending a topless pool party is not infidelity. If he hasn't given you any reason to worry so far, give him the benefit of the doubt.

P.S. By the way, I have heard that some bachelorette parties can be equally wild. Do you plan to swear off them yourself?

DEAR ABBY: My wife hates Facebook. She has always hated it and never signed up. I have had an account since the site began and maintain many connections with friends, family members who live far away, old teachers -- even my in-laws. I don't discuss it with my wife much because it makes her angry.

I'm not constantly on it, and it's not like I'm doing anything bad. But if she hears from a friend about a funny or insightful comment I made on Facebook, we end up getting into a huge argument because she insists I have to delete my account. The argument always ends with her saying, "You will delete it because I hate it!"

I don't want to delete my Facebook page, and I hate arguing with my wife. What should I do? -- "LIKES" FACEBOOK IN RALEIGH, N.C.

DEAR "LIKES" FACEBOOK: Try to get to the bottom of why she finds your staying in touch with these people threatening, because it appears you married someone who is very controlling. She is your spouse, not your jailer. If you want to participate in social media, continue to do so.

Although you didn't mention it, I can't help but wonder if her jealousy and possessiveness have affected other areas of your life. If that's the case, talk about it with a licensed marriage and family therapist before it drives the two of you apart. If she won't go with you, go alone.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a doctor. I give free medical advice to my cousin and her mother several times a month, and have for quite some time now. I do it free of charge because we are family and there's a close bond between us.

My cousin works in marketing, so I asked her if she could help me design my presentation card. She replied that she would give me three designs to choose from, and it would cost roughly $100. I feel it's wrong for her to charge me for her service since I've never charged her. -- FREE OF CHARGE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FREE OF CHARGE: It's possible your cousin was asking to be reimbursed for the cost of the materials involved in creating the cards for you. Before you allow yourself to get into a snit, perhaps you should clarify exactly what you would be paying for.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for many years, work long schedules, and actually sleep when we go to bed at night. Saturday afternoon, we had "nothin' to do," so I suggested some hanky-panky. We were just getting into it when the phone rang.

I told her to let it go to voicemail, but when our married daughter's name was caller-ID-announced, she said she had to take the call because they had been playing phone tag all day. There was no important matter, just idle chit-chat. What a mood killer!

Am I wrong to be angry that my needs were ignored so my wife could say, "Hello, how are you?" to our daughter (who calls eight times a day anyway)? -- THWARTED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR THWARTED: Wrong? I don't think so. I think it's time to calmly ask your wife why she prioritized taking that call over the opportunity to be intimate with you.

P.S. The next time you're in "H-P" mode, put both of your phones on "do not disturb."

DEAR ABBY: I was diagnosed with lung cancer last year. After months of chemo, I had surgery and my lung was removed. Fifteen months after my diagnosis, my husband is still smoking cigarettes.

I feel so hurt and alone going through this. I thought he would have stopped smoking for his own health as well as moral support to me. He says I don't have the right to change him and quitting is too hard, even though he refuses to get help to stop.

Am I being overly sensitive to think he should stop smoking? I don't think he is being fair to our children because of the potential of them having to watch another parent receive the same diagnosis. -- NEEDS MORAL SUPPORT

DEAR NEEDS: You are not "overly sensitive." People have been known to get cancer from secondhand smoke. Face it, you are married to an addict. Not only is he being unfair to the children, he is being unfair to you and himself. Because he's unwilling to even try to quit, my advice is to insist that he do it outside and away from you.

DEAR ABBY: A few days ago, my daughter had a sleepover at a friend's house, and the girl's dad broke my daughter's eyeglasses by accidentally stepping on them. He said he would pay for them. In the meantime, I glued them together.

Fast forward to two days later, and our dog finished the job and broke the side that was still OK. Is the dad still responsible for paying or is he not, since my dog used the glasses as his chew toy? -- BLIND AS BATS IN FLORIDA

DEAR BLIND AS BATS: The man who stepped on your daughter's glasses should pay to replace them as promised, and in the future, when those glasses are not on your daughter's nose, they should be safely stored in their case and in a secure location!