DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Ralph," and I have been married for 30 years. He recently started receiving sexually oriented texts from a male co-worker I'll call Mike. What Ralph once read aloud to me saying, "He's such a goof. Listen to this!" has now become covert reading for him.

Ralph and I have no secrets. Our phones are accessible to each other, so sometimes if his phone is lying around, I'll see things such as "Sitting on the deck with just a towel on the bits and pieces. Nice breeze!" with heart eye emojis. They are later deleted.

I have asked Ralph point-blank if he has feelings for Mike, which he denies. But he won't ask him to stop, either. Ralph knows this worries me and has me questioning our relationship. I'm tempted to contact Mike myself, but I'm not sure if that's the best way to proceed. Thoughts? -- BAFFLED IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR BAFFLED: Your husband may not have feelings for this co-worker, but his co-worker appears to have some for him. Either way, Mike's behavior is unusual. While I don't think you should contact him, this is something you should revisit with your husband because you find it threatening.

DEAR ABBY: A man came to my home today to fix a tech problem and proceeded to hit on me. Abby, he was at least 10 years older than me (I'm 23), and it was so unprofessional. I was home alone, and being faced with that situation caused me to turn red. He then commented on my blushing, and I just sat there saying nothing.

I am berating myself for not speaking up, and I'm disgusted that he assumed I was blushing because I liked the attention when it was the opposite! At the same time, I am fearful of a man reacting aggressively if I were to say something.

I was hoping you could tell me what to say or do in order to better handle these situations in the future. I want to be more vocal; I just don't know how to be. -- BLUSHING IN TEXAS

DEAR BLUSHING: Whether you were red with embarrassment or pale with anger is irrelevant. You should report him to his employer to make sure he will never come to your home again.

A way to protect yourself in the future might be to arrange to have someone else present under those circumstances. If someone behaves inappropriately during a service call to your home, you are within your rights to tell the person you want him to leave immediately, and that is what you should have done.

DEAR ABBY: I recently went to the movies with a couple of friends. At the concession stand, I bought popcorn. They did not. However, as we sat down, they eyed my popcorn as I was munching. I didn't offer them any. I figured they could have bought their own if they wanted some. Should I have? It's been bothering me ever since. Was I selfish? -- MATINEE MUNCHER

DEAR MUNCHER: The polite thing to do would have been to offer them some of your popcorn. As to whether not doing so was selfish, the answer is: "Mmmmhmmmm." (I'd say it more clearly, but my mouth is full.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I just moved in together. We have been a couple for seven years. Until now, we have lived with our parents.

I knew moving in would be a struggle for him because he's very close to his four siblings. Now that we've moved in, he calls and video chats with them every day, visits twice a week or more and has sleepovers. He also leaves work early to take his siblings on field trips or attend their sports events.

I'm finding it very frustrating being alone all the time. I have talked to him and expressed my feelings about the amount of time he spends with his family. In my opinion, it's excessive, especially since neither of his parents works.

He asked me to give him time to adjust, but it has already been a month. This is the man I want to marry one day, but I can't help but feel like I'm never put first. Please help! -- CONFOUNDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFOUNDED: You and your boyfriend have been living together a grand total of one month. This is a period of adjustment for both of you. It's unrealistic to expect your boyfriend -- who appears to be tightly bound to his parents and siblings -- to instantly focus all his attention on you.

My advice, and I hope you will heed it, is to devote time to your own interests and activities so you won't be so dependent on him. Give it six months. If things haven't resolved in that amount of time, write me again.

DEAR ABBY: I am single, 33, and have two kids. I have dipped my toe in the dating pool without success. I am not lonely, but I find myself wanting a relationship.

When I tried dating websites, I got a mixed bag of colorful characters. When I do find someone I'm interested in, it fizzles out quickly.

We start out by messaging on the site, then we text each other. The problem I am having is that these men don't ask "get to know you questions" or keep up a conversation at all. If I don't text first or keep the conversation going, there's no communication at all. All of them state they want a relationship, but they don't put forth the effort. I'm not sure what the problem is.

Every time this happens, I forget about dating for a while, but it happens again and again. Have any sage advice for me? -- LOOKING IN NEBRASKA

DEAR LOOKING: You say you are messaging back and forth. After a few days of conversation, have you suggested getting together for a coffee date? It might provide an opportunity to find out more about these men. If you have done that and encountered resistance, it might suggest you are coming on too strong or they aren't quite as ready as they have advertised.

Because there is so much distraction and so much choice in online dating, perhaps you should consider meeting men the old-fashioned way -- through friends, relatives or social groups. Meeting someone special when one least expects it has been known to happen.

DEAR ABBY: I am at that age when most of my friends and colleagues are having children. I suffered a miscarriage (my first pregnancy) a few months ago, and I have been feeling depressed and helpless about the situation.

We are seeing a fertility specialist, so I am positive about our chances. However, when my husband and I are invited to attend functions with friends, I have been declining because one of his friends recently announced her pregnancy. I have become extremely withdrawn, jealous and anti-social. Is it normal for me to feel this way? I would love to be sociable and happy, but it's hard. -- BABY JEALOUS IN MARYLAND

DEAR BABY JEALOUS: It's normal to feel some jealousy when those around you seem to experience something easily that you are struggling with. However, to isolate yourself because of it is self-defeating.

It could help you to talk this through with a licensed therapist. You are not alone in having these feelings, and the therapist can give you tools to help you cope. Ask your fertility specialist for a referral. I'm sure you won't be the first patient to do that, and it might bring you comfort.

DEAR ABBY: My issue is related to celebrations with my in-laws. They are both retired.

At holiday time, we suggest that we pick up something to eat on the way, but they always tell us they already have stuff ready to cook. The problem is, we have gotten food poisoning in their home twice because of undercooked chicken. We have a 16-month-old son, and my in-laws are offended because we won't let him eat from their table and always bring his own food.

After the first bout, my husband asked them if they had a food thermometer. They said they did not, so we bought one for them. The second time -- on Easter -- was horrible.

My husband doesn't want to say anything to them because they are good to us and generous to our son. But I can't see myself ever eating at their house again. Help, please. What do we say to them? -- GRATEFUL, BUT ...

DEAR G.B.: What you say is that you and their son have gotten food poisoning twice at their house because of undercooked chicken. Twice is enough. From now on, invite them to your home for holiday dinners.

DEAR ABBY: I've been married for more than 50 years to a man I love with my whole being. But for years I've heard people say about their spouse, "I love him dearly, but I am not in love with him."

Would you please explain what this means? What's the difference? -- JUST GOTTA ASK IN ARIZONA

DEAR JUST GOTTA: I think the phrase means different things to different people. To some it indicates that the excitement, those "fires of passion," may have cooled to a simmer and been slowly replaced by a calmer and deeper kind of affection. To others it may mean they weren't deeply in love in the first place.