DEAR ABBY: My mother is extremely self-centered. Ever since I can remember, everything has always been about her. That's probably why she and Dad split. You can't have a conversation with her without her turning it around and making it about her.

I'm 25. I just want to have a regular conversation with my mom without her somehow bringing the mood down by saying she has demons to deal with on her own and she can't be positive or happy for others.

Abby, there's nothing wrong with her! She's healthy, fit, has a wonderful job she claims to love, and friends she goes out with often and seems to have fun with. She's out literally every weekend. I just don't get why she never makes time for me or any of my siblings.

I'm afraid I'll never have that mother/daughter relationship. Maybe I wouldn't care so much if I had another role model to confide in, but unfortunately, I have neither a mother nor a father figure in my life. My siblings and I have been cheated in the parent department -- a father who left us and a mother who thinks only of herself. Advice? -- LOST SOUL IN OHIO

DEAR LOST SOUL: This may be of small comfort to you, but other readers over the years have described situations like your own. I'll share with you what I have advised them.

Because your mother apparently feels her parenting job is finished, it's time to build a "family" of your own. Because you crave the wisdom an older woman can provide, consider doing some volunteer work for seniors, perhaps at a senior citizen center. Your efforts will be valued, and in a short time you may begin building relationships with more than one person who can assuage your emptiness while you fill a need in their lives, too.

DEAR ABBY: My sister asked if I would attend a women's conference with her. I hastily agreed, and we kind of dropped it until recently. The conference is eight months away and I just found out the location and who will be the speakers. After reviewing the information, I realize I'm not all that interested in attending.

When I told my sister, she became furious! I apologized for letting her down, but I don't want to spend hundreds of dollars to attend a conference I'm not that jazzed about. She's still mad at me, and I don't want to dismiss her feelings, but I feel that canceling eight months in advance is OK. We hadn't purchased tickets or made hotel reservations yet. Can you give me some advice? -- DON'T WANT TO GO

DEAR DON'T WANT TO: Your sister may have had more in mind than just the conference when she invited you to go with her. She may have wanted a bonding experience as well, which may be why she has reacted so strongly.

I agree that eight months in advance is sufficient notice that you want to cancel. It may smooth her ruffled feathers if you call your sister and suggest there might be something else you can do together that would be of greater interest to both of you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a great guy for a few months. He treats me well and seems to care about me and my family. He offers to help with the bills and cleaning my place. He's also kind and honest, and he's actually the first guy I have ever dated I feel I can fully trust.

I was single for years before we started dating, and during all that time, all I wanted was to be with someone like him. However, being single as long as I have been has made me very independent, which I really like. We have certain days that we don't see each other so I can have my "alone time," but -- more and more -- I feel like those few days aren't enough.

I'm starting to realize that, for the most part, I really enjoy being alone. I don't get why I feel this way. He's everything I have always wanted in a partner, so why do I still always want to be by myself? Do other people have the same kind of feelings I do? Or is this not normal behavior? -- WANT TO BE ALONE

DEAR WANT: I think most people need a degree of alone time to concentrate on their interests or to be creative. That's normal. However, you state that you don't feel you have enough of it, and even though you are seeing someone you think is "Mr. Wonderful," you still always want more. Your next step should be to talk with Mr. Wonderful about the fact that you need more time alone. It may be something the two of you can work out. However, if it isn't, you will have to face the fact that you may not be ready to couple up.

DEAR ABBY: My parents have been divorced for years, so I go to my mum's for a week and to my dad and stepmum's the next. Recently I have been going to my dad's less often because he is giving me major anxiety. He keeps asking questions I don't want to answer because they either might be about my mum or are just not "appropriate."

Dad and his wife are "sticky beaks." They don't mind their own business. I just started high school, so I'm very stressed and have been crying a lot. Can you help me to get my life together? -- MAJORLY ANXIOUS IN AUSTRALIA

DEAR ANXIOUS: A new school can be intimidating for first-year students until they become used to the routine and more at ease with classmates. However, with time, you will settle in and it will no longer be stressful for you. In fact, it may offer opportunities to explore interests you were never exposed to in the lower grades.

As to your father and his wife, you do not have to report to them what your mother is doing or whom she is seeing (if anyone), or answer any questions that embarrass you. When they ask, ask them to please stop because the questions make you uncomfortable. If they persist, tell your mum and let her deal with them. She may be able to explain that what they're doing is driving you away, and if they don't stop, they will be seeing less and less of you.

DEAR ABBY: For the first time in my life, I am in love. We met about a month ago. I know he's the man I have waited my entire life to meet. I am 33, so I know what I feel isn't just lust. We have one huge hurdle, though: religion. He's actively religious, while I am not, and he doesn't believe our relationship can survive this difference.

On every other level, we are wonderful. We want the same things in life and share similar values. Our difference isn't that I don't believe in God. I do. But that isn't enough for him.

I told him I would go to church with him, and raise our children (his and mine) in a Christian home, but when they are old enough we should allow them to make their own decisions. He says that would be "just going through the motions" and I'd eventually resent him for it.

Must I let him walk away? Or should I fight for what could be (next to my kids) the best thing that's ever happened to me? -- HEARTBROKEN IN TEXAS

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: In what way do you plan to "fight"? Do you plan to convert to his religion and devote the kind of time to it that he does? Think carefully about what that would mean.

While his fervent religiosity is laudable, what this man doesn't realize is that regardless of the example he wants to set for his children, eventually they are going to make up their own minds and live their lives the way they wish.

This "one difference" is a deal-breaker. He is looking for a spiritual clone. You're not it, so let him go.

DEAR ABBY: The company I work for recently switched to digital phones that show the caller's name and location on a screen no matter where they are in the building. Years ago, I formed the habit of introducing myself when placing a call: "Hi, this is Sally from marketing. How are you, Trent? Great! I'm calling because ..." I have been informed that what I'm doing is old-fashioned, unnecessary and a waste of everyone's time.

The preferred method would be to launch into the heart of the conversation with no introduction, just "Hi. I need instructions for the new projectors," because the person already knows who is calling. To me, this feels rude, especially when talking with someone I see rarely.

I can't help but wonder what the long-term office climate will be like if everyone is so terse. On the other hand, many of my younger co-workers would prefer not to talk at all and conduct business by email or text. Any conversation feels excessive to them, and they are humoring me by answering the phone.

Where is the middle ground here? How can I maintain what feels like basic good manners and human interaction without annoying my colleagues? -- POLITE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR POLITE: There are certain niceties that make interactions with others more pleasant. While you may no longer have to announce that you are "Sally from marketing," it is polite to inquire how the person is doing or how the day is going. It's a pleasant conversation-starter and a transition into the business you will conduct. Because you are getting flak for it, go to your employer or H.R. for guidance in navigating the new system.