DEAR ABBY: I'm at my wits' end. I have been unemployed for almost two years. My wife has been working during that time. We have two girls I take care of as a stay-at-home dad. Although I have consistently searched for work, I haven't found anything, and it's driving me crazy. I have edited and re-edited my resume, but nothing has happened.

My question is, do women (and men) think stay-at-home dads are lazy people who leech off their wives? I have to admit negative thoughts have crossed my mind, and I sometimes worry that people -- relatives -- think I'm a low life or incompetent. Is this true? -- STAY-AT-HOME DAD

DEAR DAD: I know you are frustrated, but you are being needlessly hard on yourself. While some people still think that way, an increasing number no longer do. The traditional roles of the woman staying home and the man being the breadwinner have, of necessity as well as choice, become increasingly reversed since the beginning of the new millennium.

The realities of today are far different than they were 10, 20, 30 years ago. I don't know if your relatives feel the way you suspect they do, but if you think that's what's happening, talk to them and straighten them out. This truism isn't original, but it applies to much that's happening in the world today: The only thing that's constant is change.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his wife live 6 miles from me. They have a 4-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. The only time I am guaranteed to see my son and his family is on my birthday. The most I have ever seen my grandkids is four or five times a year.

Last year, I saw them on my birthday and on my grandson's birthday. They never initiate any other interactions. I occasionally see my son if he needs to come by to pick up personal items still at my house. I have the impression that they see her family members frequently.

My son works two jobs and drives 70-plus miles to work four days a week. The only time they really have together is on Sunday. I realize my son is very busy, but I would like to see them more often.

Do you have any suggestions about approaching him about more contact? In the past when I've mentioned it he became defensive, as if I were trying to put a guilt trip on him. -- HOPING FOR MORE

DEAR HOPING: Your mistake may be in waiting for your son and daughter-in-law to do the inviting. You might have better luck if you offered to stop by for a visit, or to watch the grandkids so their mother can have a little time for herself. Clearly, your son is on a tight schedule, and he does need to have time alone with his wife and kids. Granted, you would not be seeing your son, but half a loaf is better than none.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend cheated on me the whole time I was pregnant last year. He lived in Florida, and I lived in Missouri. He didn't make it back for our son's birth like he promised.

Now that he's back, he stays out all night. He won't get a job to help support our family. He lies in bed all day, gets so drunk he can't drive and doesn't help out around the house, either. It's obvious that I should let him go. I'm 11 years older than he is, and he obviously isn't ready to grow up, even though he's 30.

I love him, but I'm tired of being treated this way. How can I get over this? -- CAN'T LET GO IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR CAN'T LET GO: You say you are tired of being treated that way? Congratulations on your burst of clarity. It has finally dawned on you that you have been enabling a lazy, ungrateful, irresponsible freeloader who has no respect for you or his child.

This isn't "love." You should have realized you would be raising two children when he didn't care enough to show up for the birth of the baby. Do what you know you must: Kick him out and move on.

DEAR ABBY: Last year was my son's first year in kindergarten. A child who was allergic to peanuts and soy, among other things, was in his class. Therefore, as a working mom, quick-fix peanut butter sandwiches were out of the question. The school is very cautious. They actually had a separate table in the cafeteria for children with allergies.

What started to bother me was the fact that because one child had allergies, treats for the other 20 kids were prohibited -- birthday cakes, candies, cookies, anything with eggs, etc. This has continued into Boy Scouts. Again, all the children have to go without because of this one child.

What is appropriate? Must all 20 kids accommodate one so he doesn't feel left out, or does his mom start teaching her child that he has allergies and there are foods he can't have? They aren't going to make a college dorm free of peanut butter. Shouldn't he start to understand that now, or must everyone adapt to his strict diet to make him comfortable?

I want to be able to make gingerbread houses during the holiday season and have eggnog with the kids. I understand I should be grateful my child doesn't suffer from these allergies, but what are the boundaries? -- JUST NEED TO KNOW IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR JUST: This precaution is not meant to be an inconvenience for you. It is meant to save lives. If you wish to create gingerbread houses and make special treats for your children and their playmates, nothing is stopping you. But they should not be taken to school if there is any chance the classmate with allergies could somehow get ahold of one of them. It's common for children to trade lunches or share the components with a friend, and one mistake could result in a trip to the hospital or worse.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 17. My mom and I often disagree on things. Don't get me wrong -- I don't care what she does in her free time, but lately I have learned she's talking to people about bisexuality. I don't know how to handle this or how to talk to her about it.

I feel betrayed. When I told her I was gay, she rejected my sexuality, and now she's possibly wanting relationships with other females? Even now, when we watch the news and something about the LGBT community comes on, she still mutters about marriage being between one man and one woman.

I don't want things to escalate into a big blowup over this because our relationship is just being repaired. Please help me. Am I wrong to be concerned, or do I have the right to be? -- TEEN IN DAYTON, OHIO

DEAR TEEN: I don't think it would escalate into an argument if you were to tell your mother you are confused by the mixed messages you're getting from her. It should be the opening of an interesting discussion, as long as you don't let it deteriorate into a fight. It seems odd to me, too, that she would reject your sexual orientation if she's leaning in both directions herself.

As to her feelings about marriage equality, you might be interested to know that not everyone thinks the idea of marriage (LGBT or otherwise) is appealing. If your mother is interested in open relationships, she may be part of that group.

DEAR ABBY: I went on a road trip with a friend who is normally kind and generous. She insisted on driving the entire way. She often exceeded the speed limit and kept less than 20 feet between us and the 18-wheel truck ahead.

She read texts, answered her cellphone and made phone calls while she was driving. She's very demonstrative when she talks, so while she drove, holding her cell with her left hand, she'd take her other hand off the wheel to gesture. More than once she nearly hit a guardrail.

I was so frightened I broke into sobs. She responded by laughing at me! Can you give me a tactful way to tell her how dangerous her driving really is? -- TERRIFIED IN MEMPHIS

DEAR TERRIFIED: No, because it's obvious that your friend is in deep denial not only about how dangerous her driving is, but also about how it affects her passengers and other drivers around her. But I can suggest that from now on, you provide the transportation if you're going anyplace together. You were lucky this time. The next time it could cost you your life.

DEAR ABBY: One day, I found two bottles of wine under my husband's bed. I told him I had found them and he didn't have to hide wine from me. Yesterday, I found two bottles of beer in his underwear drawer.

This is unusual behavior for a 65-year-old man. He is retired. I am still working. What should I do? -- PERPLEXED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR PERPLEXED: It's important that you find out what's causing your husband to act this way. Notify your doctor there has been a sudden change in his behavior and schedule physical and neurological exams for him. When seniors begin hiding items for no reason, it could indicate the onset of dementia.