DEAR ABBY: I dated the perfect man for two years. When he asked me to marry him, I had to say yes. He was kind, gentle, attentive, easygoing, full of dreams, great sense of humor, an excellent provider and sexually the best.

Three months after our perfect wedding, it all began to unravel. I learned he is bipolar with manic episodes. He has been married three times before me and always lost interest in sex. He says he may be attracted to men, then tells me he's not sure. He also isn't as good handling his financial affairs as he led me to believe.

I'm 58, and he's 59. How could I not have had a clue about any of this? I sold my house to move into the parsonage with him. After repeatedly being lied to, misinformed or left out of the loop all together, I am now couch-surfing, mainly at my ex-husband's house.

I feel tired and broken -- no income, no home, no respect and no hope of him getting it together. I would appreciate any advice or counsel. All I have figured out is to start over and remain single as he is my third husband. -- THIRD TIME AROUND

DEAR T.T.A.: You will feel less tired and broken after you have consulted a lawyer about helping you get out of this fraudulent marriage. And while you're at it, you and your lawyer should bring this to the attention of the church council or whoever holds the lease on that parsonage. I am sure they will be very interested in what you have to say about the leader of their flock.

DEAR ABBY: When I started dating my husband, "Ralph," 22 years ago, I made it very clear that I would never move to his hometown, which is six hours away. Even though it may seem selfish, my wish was to be near my family. Our relationship progressed anyway. We've been married for 15 years, live in my hometown, and have three little boys.

Ralph is 42, homesick and wants us to move back home now to be around his parents because he's lived around my parents for 15 years. I told him my intentions were made crystal clear before we got married and I wasn't moving. His response was, "So you were worth moving for, but I'm not?"

There are other reasons for my not wanting to move there, but the bottom line is that I wish he had been true to himself before deciding to marry me. I think it's a bit late to be playing this game. I'd like your thoughts, and please give it to me straight. -- STAYING PUT

DEAR STAYING: OK, here they are. I think your husband has a valid point. Marriage is supposed to be about compromise, and for the last 15 years he has lived in your community.

I wish you had shared what your other reasons for being against moving are, because they might have influenced my opinion. But from where I sit, I think you owe it to Ralph to give it a try. Perhaps you and your family could rent out the home you're living in and rent a place in his hometown for a year. That way, if you can't adjust, you would be able to move back near your own family, which appears to be your first priority.

DEAR ABBY: I am concerned about my niece. She's 18 and a senior in high school. Her father -- my younger brother -- is incarcerated and has been for 13 years.

Our families have been alienated, but I'm trying to reach out to my niece. Although she has been hesitant to get close, we've had a couple of face-to-face visits during the past year. She is needy for family, and I know her mother has been overwhelmed having had to raise her on her own.

Long story short, my niece has been dating -- for the second time -- a man her father's age. She lives a few hours away, so most of what I see is on social media. I don't understand how this man thinks it's OK. My niece looks like she's only 13. It makes me cringe, yet I feel this isn't my business or within my power to change. You can tell me this is none of my business and I should just walk away, but my niece is vulnerable and I'm worried about her. -- WORRIED AUNT IN TEXAS

DEAR WORRIED AUNT: Your niece may be vulnerable in your opinion, but she is also 18. She may have father issues that need to be ironed out, but considering the man has been absent since she was 5, that's not surprising.

I agree that this isn't within your power to change. My advice is to be there for her when she will allow it, be as supportive as you can, resist the urge to try to fill a parental role and do a lot of listening.

DEAR ABBY: I am 64. When I was an insecure 15-year-old, I liked showing off for my two best friends. We often made fun of other kids behind their backs. With them, my smart mouth got me the attention I craved.

One day I slipped up and whispered something too loudly. The girl heard what I said about her, and the stricken look on her face told me how much it hurt.

I looked for her at our 20th reunion wanting to apologize, but she was absent. I wish I could take back what I said, but I can't. However, I have spent the last 49 years trying to be kind to others to make up for it.

If there are people who read your column who remember a stinging remark that was aimed at them, please let them know that some of us regret it very much. I hope they find forgiveness so they can be free of bitterness and hurt. I am truly sorry. -- MISS SMART MOUTH IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR MISS SMART MOUTH: I'm glad you wrote because I'm sure more than one reader has been the target of unkind remarks at one time or another, and even may have made a few themselves. An apology to your classmate was definitely in order, even if 20 years late. Too bad the woman wasn't around to hear it.

I'll share something with you a trial lawyer once told me. He said, "You can't unring the bell." What he meant by it was that a judge can instruct a jury to "disregard that statement," but once something is out there, it's very hard to erase from memory. The context may be different, but it applies to relationships, too.

DEAR ABBY: My husband works full-time, and when he gets home, and also on weekends, he's "exhausted" and needs to relax. He's in bed by 8 every night, and on the weekends, if we don't have something planned, he lies in bed all day napping and watching TV.

However, when he realizes he has a weekend day free (meaning I'm taking our 6-year-old daughter someplace he doesn't need to be), he all of a sudden "finds" the energy to make golf plans, go on outings with friends, etc. If I make plans to hire a baby sitter and it's just us going out, he has the energy and looks forward to it. It's as if he is happiest when he doesn't have to be with our child.

He does give her some attention, but it's just in spurts, and then he's off again to watch TV. I'm tired of asking him to make plans with her or spend time with her. I feel like a nag for something I feel he should want to do. Any advice? -- LIKE A SINGLE PARENT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR SINGLE PARENT: You married a man who may have no clue how to be a parent and doesn't know how to relate to a little girl. Children aren't stupid. They know when someone enjoys them and when someone doesn't.

The effect of his lack of interest will have an impact on how your daughter feels about herself when she's older. She will ask herself why her father acts the way he does and blame herself for it. (Aren't I smart enough? Aren't I pretty enough?)

Consider going with your husband to a psychologist who can provide him with some insight -- as well as suggestions -- about how to better relate to his daughter, because it isn't too late to make some changes that could benefit both of them.

DEAR ABBY: I need some outside advice. I just found out that my mother has breast cancer. That is hard enough, but I also found out that she has known for the last 18 months and decided to not take any measures to fight it.

My sisters say we should respect her decision and give her as much support as we can, but I can't help but want to push her to fight this. She said she doesn't want the pain of surgery and possibly chemotherapy. I need someone to help me understand what to do. Please. -- NEEDS SOME HELP IN TEXAS

DEAR NEEDS SOME HELP: I don't know at what stage your mother's cancer was at the time of her diagnosis and whether she got a second opinion and counseling. After 18 months of not being treated, I also don't know at what stage it may be now. It may have been too late then -- or it may be too late now.

If she made her decision under the assumption that there would be no pain if she skipped the surgery/chemo, she was incorrect. There is pain either way, although with heavy medication it may be controlled.

I do think you should support her decision and make the best of the time you have together. Your sisters are right -- she will need your support as her disease progresses. My heart goes out to all of you. Please accept my sympathy.