DEAR ABBY: My elderly father's dearest friend committed suicide yesterday. He shot himself in the head. The family wasn't even aware that he was depressed. Dad has lost three wonderful friends this way in recent years. He's heartbroken thinking that his buddies were secretly suffering.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, the rate of suicide for men 70 and older in the U.S. is more than double the overall suicide rate. Yet, with all of our suicide prevention efforts, this high-risk group seems to be ignored.

How can we help prevent these tragedies? What are the signs of depression in older men? And what can families do if they suspect depression in "Dad," "Gramps" or "Uncle John"? Thank you for any help you can provide. -- VAN IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR VAN: Please convey to your father how sorry I am for his loss. I think the first thing people have to remember is that men in general do not manifest depression the way women do because women are more open about sharing their feelings. Men, particularly older men, were not raised to do that because they were taught that expressing emotion was "weak," so they stay silent. And men who were once breadwinners, active and vital, can become depressed when they retire.

Among the RISK FACTORS are:

-- Having lost a wife or significant other;

-- Being alone and isolated;

-- Concern about being a burden;

-- Substance abuse (alcohol or prescription drugs);

-- Firearms in the house.

SIGNS TO LOOK FOR include:

-- Lack of energy;

-- Lack of motivation;

-- Less interest in eating or getting out of the house;

-- Loss of interest in activities the person once enjoyed.

A common mistake people make is thinking these things are happening because a person is old. If you observe a change in someone's behavior, it is all right to ask the person what's going on. Keep in mind that people who feel connected are less likely to harm themselves. Isolation is the enemy. Visit them, or take them out so they won't feel alone.

It's also important to help seniors meet others they can relate to, particularly if their friends are dying off. A senior center can provide a place to socialize and meet new people. Exercise is important, too, and many senior centers provide exercise facilities.

Equally important is volunteering. Older men are valuable assets to the community and should be encouraged to regard themselves that way. They have a lifetime of experience to offer, which should not be wasted. By helping these men get and stay connected, you could actually be saving a life.

A final thought: As people age, they often have physical problems that are associated with depression. (Heart disease is one.) If you need advice about how to approach someone about your worries, an excellent resource is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The toll-free number is 800-273-8255.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a wonderful woman for two years. She has a son in high school I'll call "Jon." Like many teens I see, he is constantly on his smartphone, his school-required tablet or playing video games on the TV in his bedroom.

On a recent vacation, I decided enough was enough. Jon had headphones on and was watching videos online while we were at a restaurant. His mother was on her cellphone as I sat there wondering how long I'd wait. Jon's grades have dropped and he doesn't sleep well. I can see he is so connected to his electronics that he's disconnected from people.

While I don't want to seem controlling, I now feel I have a vested interest in the boy. I care about him and see that the constant stimulation is affecting much of his life. I'm not sure he even knows how to make friends.

Should I push for his TV to be taken out of his room? His mother is excellent at setting her own boundaries, but because of her divorce, I think she's reluctant to set boundaries for him. -- NEEDS HELP IN CHICAGO

DEAR NEEDS HELP: If you haven't discussed your concerns with Jon's mother, you should, because they are valid. If his grades are suffering and he isn't getting enough rest, it's time for her to step up to the plate and start acting like a parent.

When the three of you are having a meal together, the electronics should be put away, and you and your girlfriend should make a point of including her son in the conversation. At his age, he should be informed about and have an opinion regarding current events. As to removing the television/gaming from his bedroom, his mother should warn him in advance that it will happen if his grades don't improve.

Interacting with others doesn't come naturally to everyone. Developing these skills takes practice. Learning to make eye contact, carry on a conversation and pick up on social cues are skills people learn in person, not by texting. This is a conversation I have had with more than one mental health expert, and it's something parents need to remember when interacting with their children.

DEAR ABBY: My husband wants to help in the kitchen with the dishes. Call me stupid to complain, but he is causing me more work, and I don't know what to do.

This is the second marriage for both of us, and I am trying hard to be a kinder, gentler wife. When my husband washes the dishes, pots and pans, he misses spots, sometimes lots of them. Also, he is impatient and doesn't want to wait the three minutes it takes for the hot water to get to the kitchen, so he washes in cold water.

I tell him I will take care of the dishes, but then he gets upset with me. How do I handle this without hurting his feelings or his pride? -- KINDER, GENTLER WIFE

DEAR K.G.W.: Sometimes it's not what we say but how we say it that can hurt someone's feelings or pride. Tell your husband that you love him and know he wants to do this for you, but, respectfully, his "talents" lie elsewhere. Because he is willing to help, entrust him to the important task of doing the rinsing and/or drying.

DEAR ABBY: I recently had to spend a night in the hospital following minor surgery. One of the female techs taking care of me leaned over me to straighten out the bedding and I could see "everything" when the top of her scrubs fell open.

I'm not sure if it was on purpose or by accident. I say this because after the first time, it happened several more times. I only looked the first time out of shock. The other times, I looked away.

Other than saying, "Hey, lady, I can see your boobies when you bend over," what's the polite way to say, "Oops -- wardrobe malfunction"? -- GOT AN EYEFUL IN ILLINOIS

DEAR GOT AN EYEFUL: Since, with luck, you won't have to make another visit to the hospital, I think your question may be moot. However, the discreet way to deal with something like that would be to mention what happened to the head nurse or supervisor and say that it made you uncomfortable.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my early 30s and recently met a very attractive woman my age. We are planning to get married. She wants us to be married as soon as possible because she has been divorced for the last seven years.

My problem is, she's extremely secretive about her past, especially the period between her divorce and our meeting. I have been open with her about my past, but when I ask about hers, she refuses to discuss it and says it has nothing to do with our relationship.

I have a feeling there may be something nasty she's hiding. I'm afraid I'm heading into a trap, but my love for her makes it tough to consider breaking up. Am I being too demanding? -- CONCERNED GUY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CONCERNED GUY: If your intuition is screaming that your girlfriend's desire for a hasty marriage could spell trouble in the future, you should pay close attention to it. It is not "too demanding" to want to know what one's fiancee has been doing for the last seven years. Under no circumstances should you marry this woman without first talking to a lawyer, who I am sure will suggest doing a background check and/or drafting an ironclad prenuptial agreement.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a bridal shower for my nephew's fiancee. My sister-in-law (the future mother-in-law of the bride) also attended the shower. She did not choose any gifts from the bride's registry, but decided instead to give the bride lingerie, including thong underwear. Frankly, I was shocked. I didn't think it was appropriate for either the mother or the future mother-in-law to give such intimate gifts. Am I wrong? -- FLUMMOXED IN FLORIDA

DEAR FLUMMOXED: Shower guests are not restricted to items based solely upon the couple's registry. They can give whatever gift they wish to the bride and groom. Your sister-in-law chose something she thought the bride and groom would enjoy. Please try to be less judgmental and hope she was right.