DEAR ABBY: I'm a single 38-year-old woman. I haven't been in a relationship in more than 10 years because of school, work and kids. Lately, since I graduated, I have been on a string of blind dates. Men seem to want to hold my hand, touch my hair, stroke my arm, etc. right away. When I say I don't like it, they say they are "just being affectionate" because they like me.

I'm a cerebral person. I have fallen in love with men who are not conventionally attractive because they appealed to me intellectually. I have rejected handsome men because we weren't intellectually compatible. Until I feel some sort of rapport, I might as well be asexual. I am not turned on, and I do not want to be touched.

My dates, my friends and my family say this means I'm not ready for a relationship. What do you think? Is it unreasonable to want to feel a connection with someone before exchanging touches? What's the likelihood of success in courting when everyone keeps their hands to themselves in the beginning? -- NO TOUCHY, PLEASE

DEAR NO TOUCHY: I'm not sure I agree with your friends and family. A date may get the impression that you're not ready because the way you are delivering your message may come across as rejection. Try telling them exactly what you told me, that unless you feel an intellectual connection, being touched makes you uncomfortable. Most men appreciate a woman who expresses herself clearly about what she likes as well as what she doesn't.

DEAR ABBY: Several times now, my mother-in-law has given me cleaning supplies as gifts. I'm trying to decide how to interpret the gesture.

Is she hinting that she thinks our house is poorly kept? Is it that she enjoys buying new cleaning supplies and would also like to receive them as gifts? Or could it be a passive-aggressive dig at my decision to work full-time when she thinks I should be staying home keeping house? My husband and I share domestic responsibilities roughly evenly, and he's never received such gifts. -- MOTHER-IN-LAW GIFTS

DEAR MOTHER-IN-LAW GIFTS: Not knowing your mother-in-law, I can't guess at her motive for choosing the gifts she's giving you. If you want a straight answer to your question, you will have to find the courage to get it straight from the horse's mouth. She may buy in bulk and have supplies to spare.

However, a gift is thoughtful, and these products may come in handy. So be pleasant and appreciative when you thank her for them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 25. My boyfriend and I are planning to move in together. He lives eight hours away, so it means I'll be moving out of state.

I dread telling my parents because they haven't met him yet, and his work schedule hasn't allowed him to make the trip up here. (He can't drive at night.) The last time he was here was early in our relationship, and he thought it was too soon to meet my parents. Would a video chat introduction be all right? Any advice is welcome. -- MOVING ON IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MOVING ON: First impressions are important. A video chat would be better than nothing, I suppose. However, out of respect for your parents as well as respect for you, he should make the time to meet them in person -- preferably before you move in with him.

TO MY MUSLIM READERS: It is time for the breaking of the Ramadan fast. Happy Eid al-Fitr, everyone.

DEAR ABBY: We are from the Middle East. My younger brother married an American woman and moved to Arizona, where her family lives. Because our dad didn't approve, my brother made the plans behind our back and told Dad in an email. He also didn't mention that they were moving until a week before the wedding.

We have just found out from a friend that they're having a baby. They'll probably tell us after the baby is born. I have tried to get through to my brother that these secrets are not good for the relationship, but talking to him is frustrating. If they do give us the news after the baby is born, I no longer wish to speak to him. Is this OK? What should I do? -- FRUSTRATED IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your brother and sister-in-law's silence likely has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the way he and his wife felt about your father's disapproval of their marriage. They may have moved to Arizona because Arizona felt more welcoming than being close to your father did.

If possible, avoid the temptation to personalize the breach that has occurred. Try to keep the lines of communication open with your brother, because in the future it may be important. A card congratulating them on the birth of their baby would be a place to start.

DEAR ABBY: How does one tactfully deal with a super-sized guest? My husband can't travel anymore due to health issues. His brother and wife want to visit us. She weighs well over 400 pounds. My furniture probably won't hold her. To put it nicely, she is not "graceful."

We can rent a larger vehicle while they're here because she won't be able to fit in ours. I will have to pay someone to reinforce the bed in the guest room. We live in a rural area and there are no hotels nearby.

This is my husband's only living sibling, so at our age, who knows when we may ever see them again. Any suggestions? -- ONLY SIBLING

DEAR ONLY SIBLING: I do have one. Invest in a large, sturdy, comfortable chair that can accommodate your houseguest and guide her to it when she arrives.

DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old daughter, "Rapunzel," is due for a haircut and always wanted to keep her hair long, which my husband and I have encouraged. That was until my mother moved in. Mother now says things to her like, "Don't you want short hair like mine?" and, "It's so much easier to take care of when it's short."

Now Rapunzel wants a short haircut, and my husband and I are irate. We let her dress however she wants, but this is where we draw the line. I know hair grows back, but we feel my mother has stepped out of line. Who is in the wrong? -- RAPUNZEL'S MOM

DEAR MOM: Did you discuss your displeasure with your mother the first time she started trying to persuade your daughter to cut her hair? If you did and she persisted, then she is in the wrong.

DEAR ABBY: I recently met a 28-year-old father of three I'm interested in. He seems wonderful. He's a hard worker, takes care of his responsibilities and is an amazing father to his children. They're all still very little, but they're great kids.

The only thing that's been on my mind lately is he has a lot of baggage. Those kids are from three different women. He gets along with all of them very well, to the point that they sometimes do stuff together with the children. They go out to places, or sometimes he invites them over to his place to swim in the pool.

I understand that he has to maintain a healthy relationship with his exes for the sake of the children, but I never thought it would be this "healthy." I have never experienced something like this. I appreciate him being upfront about everything, but I can't stop thinking about it. Am I overreacting? -- THREE'S COMPANY

DEAR THREE'S COMPANY: I don't think so. While I admire the man's devotion to his children -- not to mention his skilled diplomatic ability -- it does appear that he has a problem making a lasting commitment to a woman. Unless you would seriously consider joining this "harem," I urge you to religiously practice contraception. If you would like children in the future, it would be better to approach it with someone who isn't as marriage-phobic as this young man appears to be.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding after which the bride chose not to adopt her husband's last name. After the wedding we met them for dinner. When they strolled up to the restaurant to meet us, I happily exclaimed, "Oh, here come Mr. and Mrs. Smith!" after which I was quickly informed that I was wrong because the bride was keeping her maiden name.

Abby, even if a woman goes by her maiden name, is it so wrong to refer to her as "the Mrs."? -- STEPPED IN IT

DEAR STEPPED: Your mistake was an innocent one. Now that you know this couple is sensitive about their individual identities, address them by their names ("Linda" and "Robert") if you wish to maintain a social relationship.

DEAR ABBY: You and your mother have answered many sexual questions in your column over the years. Editors back in the '50s were more prudish about what could be published in family papers. Did your mother have to battle with dragons to print sexual questions from her readers? -- SONNY IN ALABAMA

DEAR SONNY: If she did, she didn't mention it to me. While I agree that editors back then -- and even now -- tend to be conservative, if they disapprove of a letter, they are free not to print it.