DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old professional woman who has been having an affair with a married man for three years. We have great chemistry, a passionate sex life, endless laughs and give each other a lot of support. He's married and has children, and when he is with them I find myself incredibly jealous. I feel left out, and I no longer believe he will ever be with me, although he says he will.

Because of his legal status in the U.S., it could take a few years before he becomes a citizen and is able to divorce. Should we take a break and revisit our relationship in a few years, or should I stick by him until everything is sorted out? -- JEALOUS CONFUSED LOVEBIRD

DEAR LOVEBIRD: I'm all for taking that break. The status quo is painful. As things stand, there are no guarantees your lover will ever leave his wife and children for you. If you take a break, you might meet someone who is eligible and actually willing (and able) to build a future with you. I say, go for it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband takes personal and business calls on his cellphone. When I'm with him, I ask who is calling before he picks up. He thinks this is "unusual" and becomes upset when I do. I think it is a courtesy to let me know who he is talking to, since I am usually left sitting in the car next to him or at the table with an unfinished meal, playing a guessing game of "who is on the other end." Should I bite my tongue, or should he let me know? -- WHO'S CALLING

DEAR WHO'S: Unless your husband is a doctor or a bail bondsman, he shouldn't be taking business calls when you're having a meal together. If the call is important, he can return it after you have finished eating. As to being curious about who's on the other end of the line, if it's a friend, your husband could do what I do -- and that's mention the name of the person in his greeting or during the course of the conversation.

I don't think your curiosity is "unusual." Quite the opposite, in fact. But for heaven's sake, stop allowing your food to get cold while you wait for him to finish talking. Eat it while it's hot!

DEAR ABBY: This might seem like a trivial question, but it's one that has been bothering me for a long time. Does anyone else read the comics back to front, last to first? I simply can't enjoy reading them the "normal" way. Am I a horrible person? Do I have OCD? Am I antisocial? Should I write to "Dear Abby"? Oh wait. That's what I'm doing. Help! -- GARY IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR GARY: You are none of the above. Some people do the same thing with mystery novels because they can't stand the suspense.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a second marriage, which was only for the benefit of insurance so my husband could get insurance through my employer's plan. We were together for many years before getting married.

He received the health care he needed, and I'm ready to move forward with my life as a single person. However, he now says he's happy being married. That was not our agreement. I am not interested in spending any more time being dissatisfied with this relationship. What he brought to it was not all that I wanted, and he knew this.

I'm ready to move forward, but don't want to lose his friendship. What's the best way to approach this? I have spoken to him about another procedure he needs, but he is stalling. -- MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE

DEAR M.O.C.: You have devoted enough to this man's welfare. In a marriage, both parties are supposed to be happy, and he already knows you're not. It may not be possible to move forward and keep his friendship. If he needs another procedure, give him a deadline to have it done. If he hasn't had it by then, feel free to file.

DEAR ABBY: My grown son has broken up with his girlfriend. They were together for five months. He feels his life is over. His dad and I have been helping him get over it. He has a 7-year-old son who lives with him and we want him to be strong. He calls us every day and he's beginning to sound like a broken record, repeating the same story again and again.

I know time will make it easier, but in the short term, how do we help him tap into his inner strength and be an adult about this? He goes to work, so that's a blessing. How do people make it through breakups and cope with the grief? -- SAD FOR HIM

DEAR SAD: They depend upon their friends and family to listen to them while they vent. And if that doesn't work, they do it in the office of a licensed therapist. Because what you're telling your son hasn't helped, please suggest it.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 7, my mother hosted a birthday party for me. When we made out the guest list, there was a girl who wasn't popular who I didn't want to invite. Mom told me to invite her or I wouldn't have a party. I invited her, but she didn't come.

That lesson of inclusiveness made a big impression on me. Later, in school, I became an unpopular girl. I missed many of my classmates' parties because of it, but the lesson stayed with me.

In high school and beyond I have befriended people who were unpopular or who are seen as misfits. And you know what? My life has been richer from these experiences. So I would like to offer a belated thank-you to my mother for making me invite that little girl years ago, because it shaped my life. -- KATHY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR KATHY: Your mother is a wise and compassionate woman. The lesson here is, popularity can be fleeting. But having compassion for people who need it is forever.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Rita," and I separated a year ago. Our divorce is pending. The man she's seeing, whom I believe she was cheating with before we split, has a violent criminal past. He has already cheated on Rita with his ex-girlfriend, the woman who had him locked up in the first place.

Rita caters to him to the point that she ignores our kids. When he shows up, they often "retire" to the bedroom and my children are on their own for dinner. She even paid his bail when we were supposed to be saving for our daughter's school trip, which meant I ended up paying her half.

She is oblivious. She believes the kids want to spend time at my place only because there's a game system here. Our daughter is slightly overweight, and Rita and I had agreed to make sure we keep up her self-esteem. I don't think Rita's behavior is helping in this area at all.

My kids want him gone. They have expressed this to their mother, but she keeps making excuses to keep him around. They have told me she comes apart when he's not there. Could she be terrified of being alone? Is it possible to make her realize how this is affecting our kids? Or am I making too much of all this? -- PERPLEXED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR PERPLEXED: Your wife may have a severe fear of being alone, but if it's true that she can't function when he's not there, there may be other emotional issues as well. Please understand that now that you are separated, you cannot dictate how often she sees this man, or in what room of the house. However, because she appears to be unable or unwilling to be present for her children when he's there, consider having a calm, non-accusatory conversation with her about them staying with you "a while" -- a long while. She may surprise you and be open to it.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of a friend was looking for a weekend getaway. I offered my summer home to the couple at no cost. I love the place and spend all my summers relaxing there. They quickly accepted.

I gave them the keys, they left for the weekend and she texted me to say they arrived. Two hours later, I received another text saying that they could not stay there because their allergies were really bad and they had to leave.

I felt bad, but they were well aware of my two large, hairy dogs. I'm not a dirty person. Quite a few people come and stay at the summer house, and no one has ever left before. How should I react when I see them again? I thought I was doing something nice. -- FEELING BAD IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FEELING BAD: You were doing something nice, and you should not take what happened personally. Some people are extremely sensitive to animal dander, which is what likely caused your guests to leave. It was in no way a criticism of your skills as a housekeeper. While you may have been able to remove all or most of the dog hair, you may have missed flakes from their skin that were imbedded in the upholstered furniture and which triggered the allergic reaction. Let it go, and when you see these people, treat them as you always have.