DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-year-old childless single woman. I spent several years doing various day care jobs and have great love for children, but due to female health issues, I am unable to have my own. I have a great job and home, but cannot afford fertility treatments or adoption, both of which are expensive.

My fertility issues have caused me heartbreak and many tears. My father often comments about how disappointed he is that he has no grandchildren. Recently, he made an offhand remark that I was "selfish" for not having had any. It upset me so much I cried for days. Dad is a good man, and I know he didn't mean to be hurtful.

How do I approach him about how his comment affected me without hurting him? I don't know how much detail to give him about my fertility issues. Should I just let it be and ignore him when he complains about not having grandkids? -- CHILDLESS IN IDAHO

DEAR CHILDLESS: Do not ignore this! Tell your father that you are unable to conceive because of a medical problem and exactly how his comment made you feel. You should also tell him you are unable to afford fertility treatments or adoption because of the cost involved, and not to raise the subject again because it is hurtful and beyond your ability to remedy. Perhaps you could channel your motherly instincts by exploring foster care and other ways you can help children in need.

DEAR ABBY: My husband left me for another woman four months ago. We had been married for 33 years, and my world has been ripped apart.

Now he says he wants to try to reconcile, and it has me feeling extremely confused. While I still love him, I know our relationship will never be the same as before. Will I look like a fool to everyone if I let him come home? -- HEARTBROKEN IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: How you look to "everyone" is far less important than how you feel. You are correct that if you reconcile, your relationship will never be the same. But has it occurred to you that it might be better?

Husbands stray for all kinds of reasons. Before you make any final decisions about taking him back, insist on counseling so you can understand exactly what they were. That's how broken marriages are repaired.

DEAR ABBY: I had friendships with both of my second cousins, "Tom" and "Jane," a brother and sister in their 60s. They have long been estranged from each other. Tom was estranged from his parents as well. Jane was their parents' caregiver.

Jane called me to say their father was near death and thought I would want to know. Then she said, "I'm not telling Tom, and I'm asking you to do the same." I told her it was an awkward request because I am friendly with him, too.

Well, I chose to tell him. Tom called his mother and it went well, after years of no communication. Jane has now cut me out of her life. Was I wrong to tell her brother? -- MIKE IN MEXICO

DEAR MIKE: Yes, I think it was wrong to have gone against the wishes of the daughter who had assumed the responsibility of caring for her aged parents. It's fortunate that the conversation went well, because it might not have.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 10 years, and he treats my family and friends very different compared to how he treats his own.

A few months ago, my sister called me at 9 p.m. She was driving through on her way to Florida with her 7-year-old daughter and had been trying for an hour to find a hotel at that point. We were only 40 minutes away, so I told her she could stay the night with us. When I told my husband afterward, he flipped out because I didn't ask his permission first.

I have never invited anyone to stay with us before. My family lives far away, but I didn't think it was a big deal to extend the invite because he constantly tells his family and friends they are always welcome. Today he informed me his son is coming to stay a week with his wife and 6-month-old (two weeks from now!).

Am I wrong to feel that if there is a rule, it should apply to both of us, and he should have asked me first? -- HOUSE RULES IN FLORIDA

DEAR HOUSE RULES: No, you're not wrong. Because your husband is such a stickler for "asking permission" before inviting relatives to stay, that same courtesy should have been extended to you.

House rules are supposed to be followed by everyone who lives in the household. There seems to be an imbalance of power in yours. Be smart. Talk with a licensed counselor about how to deal with your husband because unless you do, you'll spend the rest of your life playing second fiddle to a controlling, emotional bully.

DEAR ABBY: One of my longtime friends has become extremely religious. I have nothing against religion, but I am non-practicing, although I do believe in something greater. My problem is, now whenever we talk, text, Facebook page and Skype (with our children), everything is about God, religion, how He has a plan for us, etc.

I don't want to offend her, but my son and I do not need to constantly hear about her religious beliefs. My husband and I are raising our son to be a kind, honest person, but are letting him choose what religion (if any) he wants to be a part of when he grows up.

Although we now have only a long-distance friendship (I had to move away), this has put a strain on it because I haven't said anything. What should I do? How should I handle it? -- NON-OBSERVANT IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR NON-OBSERVANT: The woman means well, so don't be defensive. But do speak up and tell her -- nicely -- that while you understand religion has become an important part of her life, you would prefer she leave the subject out of your conversations.

Unless trying to convert people is a part of her religion, she will respect your wishes. However, if she doesn't, you will have to decide whether it's worth the annoyance to continue this long-distance relationship.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man who has been dating a divorced man for nine months. I'm 25 and he is 50. He was married to a woman for more than 20 years and has three children. (I am the age between his middle and oldest children.) We met one day and have never been apart since.

It started great. We had a connection I had never experienced before I met him. He was let go from his job, and I supported him for some time. He finally found a job in Georgia, and I am left in New York.

I made plans to move there with him, but I'm nervous about it. First, because I have never been in love before and I'm not sure if he's as in love with me as I am with him. Second, he cheated on his wife with a man my age. The guy left him right before he met me, and I'm not so sure he is completely over him. (I know they are still in contact, but he has never lied about it.)

I'm worried he might cheat on me too, or worse, give his ex another shot, and I'll be left on the sidelines. What advice can you offer me? -- WANTS TO MAKE THE RIGHT MOVE

DEAR WANTS: Do nothing drastic right now. Pay him a visit. Without committing yourself, take a look around to see if Georgia might suit you.

You say this man hasn't lied to you. While you're there, ask him whether he would give his ex another shot if the man were willing. However, don't prejudge him because he was unable to remain faithful to his wife. Like some gay men who come out later in life, he may not have fully realized that he was gay until some time after they were married. It happens.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a company that has small offices. Although most people have their own office, I share one because I was the last guy hired.

I have one co-worker who I really like, but he has a serious problem. He -- and his wife, I suspect -- don't do laundry. This results in him having serious odor. When he comes into my office or I have to go into his, or even walk by his door, the smell is seriously rank. How do I tell him or his superiors about this issue? -- HOLDING MY NOSE IN TEXAS

DEAR HOLDING: Go to your supervisor and explain the problem. You should not have to counsel the offending employee; the boss, your supervisor or someone in human resources should do it. If the problem is as severe as you say it is, it probably won't be the first time they have heard about it because others will have noticed it and complained, too.

DEAR ABBY: I have a new neighbor, and after meeting just once, she declared us to be "great friends." I work full time and she doesn't, so anytime I'm home she wants to get together. That would be fine if I liked her, but I don't! We are complete opposites, and she has a major gambling problem. How do I gracefully say I'm not interested in being friends? -- PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

DEAR PLEASE: The poor woman is new in the neighborhood. That may be why she's reaching out the way she is. When she suggests getting together, explain that you have a full-time job and things you need to do at home, so the answer is you don't have time. Sorry.