DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend, "Samantha," whom I met in law school four years ago. We both graduated in 2014. I have passed the bar exam, and so have all our friends from school, but Samantha has not.

She was in a bad relationship back in school and planned to marry the guy. That fell apart, and she's now dating a guy who seems to be pretty great. Samantha has failed the bar exam twice now, and I know she's smart enough to pass. I have offered encouragement, to help her study and critique her practice essays, but she has refused.

I want to find a way to get through to her that it's OK to ask for help. I'd like to suggest that maybe she should put the new boyfriend on hold for a while as she studies for the next exam. I know it will be hard for her and most likely embarrassing, but I am her friend, and I want her to get what she worked so hard for. -- CHEERING HER ON IN BROOKLYN, N.Y.

DEAR CHEERING: You are a caring and well-meaning friend, but Samantha has refused your generous offer. While you may wish she'd put her romance on hold until she passes the bar, it's possible her emotional needs are greater than you understand. If you want to retain her friendship, back off and let her find her own way through this, or you may wind up driving her away.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is being married at a resort hotel where the bridal party and spouses, several relatives and friends will be spending the night. This resort has an upscale restaurant on site.

My husband and I are spending a lot on this wedding already. Must we also host a morning-after wedding brunch for everyone staying at the hotel and for other guests who have flown in from out of town (who may be staying at other hotels in the area)? Please advise! -- BRUNCH FOR A BUNCH

DEAR B.F.A.B.: There are no formal rules regarding post-wedding brunches. Usually they are hosted by the bride's or groom's family or friends. However, if paying for the brunch would strain your budget, consider inviting your guests to a "no host" brunch at a restaurant that's less expensive than the one at the hotel.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 60-year-old semi-retired widower living in central Florida. On hot days (hot, humid days are abundant in central Florida in the summer), I have taken to wearing a kilt. The kilts are the most comfortable garments I have ever owned.

Most folks are tolerant hereabouts, but I do get some odd looks. I say it is my right to be comfortable and to heck with the (very few) snickers I get while riding the bus, at the library, post office or grocery store. Abby, am I normal or just a bit nuts? -- ODD LOOKS IN FLORIDA

DEAR ODD LOOKS: I don't think it's "nuts" to want to be comfortable. If wearing a kilt provides the ventilation you need to feel comfortable, I say more power to you. However, I would not classify you as normal because most people prefer to just blend in, and what you're doing is unusual.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "David," and I are getting married soon. We have been living together and engaged for a year, and together eight years. It takes him forever to get things done around the house or buy things we need. I have tried lists and constant reminders.

David recently lost his job and is interviewing to find another one. He loves sports, so he plays softball with his friend in a league, which takes up an entire day of the weekend. When he comes home, he wants to watch sports on TV.

The house is old (it was my grandfather's), and there's always something that needs doing or fixing. When I ask him to help, he pushes it to the next day or says he'll get to it eventually. I told him he needs to grow up and start shouldering responsibilities. This is causing our relationship to suffer. I have been wanting to see a marriage counselor, but David refuses.

We're about to get married and I'm afraid I'm walking into a trap and the rest of my life will be one in which he has all the fun and I do all the housework. Help! -- SEES THE WRITING ON THE WALL

DEAR SEES: I'll try. Before entering into a marriage, couples should have premarital counseling. Clearly, you and David haven't done that. Please understand that at this point in your relationship, he should still be on his best behavior. This may be the way he handles -- or more accurately avoids -- responsibility.

I recommend you put the wedding on hold a little longer and talk with a counselor. If he's unwilling to go, please do not let it hold you back. You will find it to be supportive, enlightening and valuable.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 11 years and I have a running argument. I say a man should walk curbside. My husband insists that in the military, the higher-ranking officer always walks on the right. He says he "honors" me by doing so. I am grateful to have such a loving, caring spouse, but I'm not comfortable with this. Your insight would be appreciated. -- CALIFORNIA PEDESTRIAN

DEAR PEDESTRIAN: You were taught traditional rules of good manners. One of them is that when men and women walk on the street together, the man should stay toward the curb.

Back in the day, the rule was instituted because people used to empty chamber pots from second-story windows and the refuse was less likely to hit the person closer to the house. In the horse-and-buggy days, the pedestrian closer to the street was more likely to get splashed in rainy weather. (The same can happen when cars pass through puddles today.)

Because you're uncomfortable with your husband's show of chivalry, you should explain that to him. And if he continues because it has become a reflex, all you have to do is remind him and I'm sure he'll accommodate you.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to "Amanda" for four years. During that time, my parents, especially my mother, have called her and her family "trashy" because they live in a rural area in Texas.

My mother has no reason to abuse my wife the way she does. Amanda's family has always been very kind to me. What really gets me is that my mother also grew up in a rural area. My mother has said repeatedly that if I don't get a divorce, things will never get any better between her and me. -- ABUSE IN TEXAS

DEAR ABUSE: When a man marries, he is expected to separate from his family and form a new family with his wife. You must not allow your mother to belittle and abuse Amanda, who must now come first. Because your mother has no intention of changing, it's time to get a divorce -- from HER. If you don't, she will not only make your life miserable, but also your wife's. (Happy wife, happy life!)

DEAR ABBY: Over the last 10 years, I have loaned books to friends and co-workers. Each time, the books were never returned to me. When I followed up with one friend about it, he seemed insulted that I would ask for the book back. Other people I've loaned books to never mentioned them again.

Is there some etiquette rule that allows people to keep a book that is lent to them indefinitely? If not, what's the best way to make sure my book gets returned? -- BOOKWORM IN MICHIGAN

DEAR BOOKWORM: No rule of etiquette dictates that when something is lent it is the person's to keep. The individuals you lent the books to may have been embarrassed because they never got around to reading them or lost them.

I suppose you could make clear when you lend a book to someone that you expect it back within a certain period of time -- say, a month. But the only way to "guarantee" that you get the book back is to not lend it in the first place.

DEAR ABBY: Visitations after a death provide an opportunity for friends and family to see people they may not have seen in a long time. (Except for the immediate family, everyone has a good time!) I have decided that I don't want to miss mine, so I have decided to have it on my 75th birthday. There will be food, drink and photos on the big-screen TV.

My question is, what should I call it? A "celebration of my life" seems presumptuous, but I can't think of anything better. I plan to repeat this event every five years until I'm dead, in a coma, or run out of money for the caterer. Any ideas? -- STUCK FOR A LABEL

DEAR STUCK FOR A LABEL: I can't improve on the label you have already "stuck" on your party. It will be a celebration of life, so why not call it what it is? I do have a suggestion, though: If you run out of money before your demise, make it potluck.