DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "David," and I are getting married soon. We have been living together and engaged for a year, and together eight years. It takes him forever to get things done around the house or buy things we need. I have tried lists and constant reminders.
David recently lost his job and is interviewing to find another one. He loves sports, so he plays softball with his friend in a league, which takes up an entire day of the weekend. When he comes home, he wants to watch sports on TV.
The house is old (it was my grandfather's), and there's always something that needs doing or fixing. When I ask him to help, he pushes it to the next day or says he'll get to it eventually. I told him he needs to grow up and start shouldering responsibilities. This is causing our relationship to suffer. I have been wanting to see a marriage counselor, but David refuses.
We're about to get married and I'm afraid I'm walking into a trap and the rest of my life will be one in which he has all the fun and I do all the housework. Help! -- SEES THE WRITING ON THE WALL
DEAR SEES: I'll try. Before entering into a marriage, couples should have premarital counseling. Clearly, you and David haven't done that. Please understand that at this point in your relationship, he should still be on his best behavior. This may be the way he handles -- or more accurately avoids -- responsibility.
I recommend you put the wedding on hold a little longer and talk with a counselor. If he's unwilling to go, please do not let it hold you back. You will find it to be supportive, enlightening and valuable.