DEAR ABBY: I'm starting to worry about my boyfriend's relationship with his mother. He's deploying at the end of the month. We have been friends for a long time and dating for a year. He's 31 and lives with his parents. We had just gotten a place together prior to finding out about his deployment.

The problem is, his mother comes over constantly, and she waits on him hand and foot. She tags along to his sporting events and cheers him on as if he's a 6-year-old. If he's hungry, she rushes to fix his food and brings him lunch while he's working. She makes all of his doctors' appointments for him and is on his bank account. She also texts me to find out where he is if he has been out of touch for a few hours.

She has taken a lot of time off work to spend with him. I hardly see him alone anymore because he's constantly with her. At the beginning of his deployment, he will be in Texas for a month. During that time he will get a week off. He told his mom the dates of his time off prior to telling me, and she booked a flight for the entire time! This means I will have no alone time with him or time to say a private goodbye.

I love him very much, but this whole mom thing has got me second-guessing everything. Abby, is this normal? -- COMING IN SECOND

DEAR COMING IN SECOND: No, it's not normal. It appears that when your boyfriend was born, the umbilical cord, instead of being severed, remained securely in place.

I hope you realize that if you should marry him at some point, you will be getting a husband who never learned independence, and you will be expected to take up exactly where his mother left off. Your problem is not that you are "coming in second," honey, it's that he appears to be already married -- to Mom!

DEAR ABBY: I have lived with my girlfriend for three years now. She works; I'm retired. She's 52; I'm 62. We get along well.

My problem is, she insists on having her 10-year-old grandson stay over every other weekend and holidays. It is a 70-mile round trip to pick him up. This means that half our weekends are consumed with baby-sitting him.

He's a good kid; I just feel that 26 weekends out of the year is extreme. Her ex -- the grandfather -- gets the boy for a more reasonable amount of the time -- maybe six times a year. Your thoughts? -- MIFFED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MIFFED: I am going to assume that you have already discussed this with your girlfriend and she knows you are unhappy with the arrangement.

She may want to see as much of her grandson as she can because she knows that in another few years he won't be as available to her as he has been. (How many teenage boys really want to spend weekends and holidays with their grandmother instead of with their friends?)

While I don't blame you for wanting more child-free weekends and holidays, if she isn't willing to compromise, perhaps it's time to rethink your living arrangement so you can plan adult activities on your own.

DEAR ABBY: I put a family member through nursing school. Since becoming an R.N. and getting a job in a hospital, he has told me that, with "the best intentions," he periodically reviews the medical records of other family members. I have told him what he's doing is illegal and inappropriate, yet he continues.

If I file a formal complaint, his career will be over and he could possibly even face jail time. I do not wish to do that. However, I need advice on how to keep him out of my private medical records. -- FED UP OUT WEST

DEAR FED UP: Your relative doesn't have the "best of intentions." Your relative is nosy! Because telling him how you feel about what he's doing hasn't stopped him, the only way to ensure your privacy is to turn him in.

DEAR ABBY: Why can't drivers be more careful about how they park? Yesterday it happened again. I couldn't get into my car because someone had parked so close I couldn't open the door and squeeze in. Luckily, I was the passenger, and my husband was able to get into his side and pull back so I could get in.

Does this happen to other people? What can you do but stand there and wait for the driver to show up and move his or her vehicle? I wish drivers would be more careful about parking between the lines instead of so close to the car(s) next to them. -- STUCK IN CANADA

DEAR STUCK: What happened to you is a fairly common occurrence when folks are in a hurry, distracted, or lack the courtesy to properly park their vehicles. It has happened to me. Fortunately, I'm limber enough that I was able to crawl into the driver's seat from the passenger side, but it wasn't easy.

I'm printing your letter in the hope that it will serve to remind drivers that there are other people on the road and in the parking lot, and not to forget their manners because they happen to be in a rush.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 13 and in seventh grade. I have a friend whose parents are divorced, and she really dislikes her stepmom. She talks bad about her, and she tells me she makes up really weird rules. She sometimes talks bad about her dad, too, and she told me they were moving over spring break. Now she's saying that they're not moving until summer. I'm starting to think some of the stuff she says isn't true.

What should I do? Believe everything she says, or question everything she says? -- CONFUSED IN MISSOURI

DEAR CONFUSED: If the things that someone tells you don't add up, it's sensible to be skeptical. As to her family's planned move, in just a few weeks you will know the answer to your question -- if you don't have a strong suspicion already.

DEAR ABBY: I divorced my narcissistic husband after our children were raised. Over the years, I have tried to have a relationship with all of my children and their families.

When I asked one of them for a three-day weekend with her children, she texted me saying they all had a lot going on. Then she added, "Maybe next year." I may not be here next year!

I know she may never read this, but it doesn't matter to me if it will help someone who does read it. I have decided to change my will. If I'm not worth my children's time, they don't deserve my money. Your thoughts? -- WORTHLESS UP NORTH

DEAR WORTHLESS: Could it be possible that your daughter and her family are actually busy? Not knowing how you raised your children, it's hard to render an opinion, but from your reaction, you appear to have a troubled relationship with this daughter. Rather than disinherit her, try to find out what motivated her to text what she did so fences can be mended. If that's not possible, then you have every right to reallocate your assets as you wish.

DEAR ABBY: I have a huge problem with low self-esteem. For most of my life I was ridiculed, teased and bullied, not only by my classmates and co-workers, but also by my own family. It started when I was very young and continued well into my early 30s. (I am 35 now.) Because of this, I find it incredibly difficult to date anyone.

I always seem to find it easier to talk down about myself than to make myself happy. Please help me, Abby. I'm at a loss about what to do. -- SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES IN OHIO

DEAR ISSUES: I'm glad you wrote. The seeds of low self-esteem were planted when you were so young you didn't understand what was being done was a form of abuse. Because it continued for so long, you should seek professional help to overcome it. It is important that you get it from a licensed therapist. Your physician or your insurance company can refer you to qualified people. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: Prior to meeting me, my husband was in a long-term relationship with a woman, "Karen," who was also a close friend of his sisters. Their relationship and the friendships ended due to Karen's behavior. Years passed, and then my husband met me.

Now, 10 years later, the sisters have decided to befriend Karen again. This would normally not be an issue, but Karen is invited to all family parties and weddings. It is very uncomfortable for my husband and me, as we feel we don't have the option to skip these events. I have tried to quietly object, but I'm being painted as "immature." Please help. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: If you and your husband prefer not to socialize regularly with Karen, you certainly don't have to. However, your discomfort with her does not entitle you to insist your sisters-in-law exclude her from all of their parties. Attend the ones you must, make the best of them, and send your regrets for the rest.