DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married 11 years, but together for 15. We've had our ups and downs as normal couples do, but lately it seems like everything she does, I try and find something to nitpick and argue over. In fact, I kind of enjoy it.

There was a recent misunderstanding that led to an awakening of a jealous side to me that I never had, and now I can't seem to turn it off. When she goes to her chiropractor appointment, I call to make sure she has the appointment for the time she told me. She spent time visiting her dad and aunt, and even that made me jealous. I feel like if I keep this up, I may lose her.

We had a baby five months ago, and he's very needy, much more than our older child was, so that's also putting a strain on our relationship. What can I do to be a better husband and not get angry at her for the dumbest and smallest things? -- FRUSTRATED HUSBAND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You say this new behavior started because of a "recent misunderstanding." I wish you had mentioned what it was, because it would have been helpful to know. Did the misunderstanding make you feel insecure, or just angry and punitive? Or is the fact that your wife needs to share her time caring for the new baby what's bothering you?

If you haven't already talked this through with your wife, you should. The arrival of a new baby can result in not only the arrival of a bundle of joy, but also bring with it postpartum depression, fatigue, physical aches and pains and lack of physical desire.

If these are what's setting you off, you should both discuss what's happening with her doctor. If that's not the cause, some sessions with a licensed psychotherapist may help you find the answer you're looking for.

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old son has always been very shy. I don't think it helps that he's now 6 feet 6 inches tall and obviously stands out. Recently at a sports event which his team won, there were celebrations that were caught on video, and I could see him milling around outside of the "celebratory circle" of his teammates. It seemed very sad that he didn't feel comfortable enough to jump into the huddle. When he was asked to join his teammates for lunch, he said he wasn't hungry.

He has known many of the kids on his team for more than six years and has hung out and been on sleepovers with some of them on many occasions, so it's not like they are strangers. My husband thinks we should just let him find his own way in life. I desperately want to talk to him and see if I can't get him to be more sociable, but I'm not sure how to achieve this. What would you suggest, Abby? Leave him alone or intervene, and if so, how? -- MOTHER OF A SHY GUY

DEAR MOTHER: I would suggest a little of both. Because you are concerned that your son is isolating himself, talk to him about it and try to find out why. However, you should not push him into doing anything he's not comfortable with. And if he appears to be happy with his life, let him live it and, as your husband says, find his own way.

DEAR ABBY: I was married for more than 20 years. My ex and I divorced five years ago. During that time I stayed busy focusing on my children and their needs.

About seven months ago I met a nice guy. We saw each other for about five months, then out of nowhere, he broke things off. I was devastated. He said his reason for the breakup was "he needed time to find himself." He was recently divorced and has sole custody of his kids. He has been under a great deal of stress and started seeing a therapist a couple of months ago.

I understand why he needs this time, but I also wish he would let me help. He said he wants to remain friends. I avoided contact with him for several weeks, but now I am drawn back to him. My friends keep telling me to forget him, but I can't get him off my mind. We talk almost daily and have even gotten together again a couple of times. I keep telling myself all the reasons it won't work. Should I run away, stay friends only, or hope to work things out? -- HOPELESS ROMANTIC IN WISCONSIN

DEAR HOPELESS ROMANTIC: When a man says he "needs time to find himself" and breaks things off, it usually means he's no longer interested or ready for the kind of relationship you're looking for.

This man is newly divorced and parenting solo, so he has as much on his plate as he can handle right now. That he's seeing a therapist is a wise move, so give him credit for that. But the kind of problems he is trying to work through are not ones you can "help" him with. At a later date things may work out, but clearly not now. A friendship may be possible, but only if you are strong enough to disengage emotionally until he is ready -- which could take a very long time.

DEAR ABBY: I have noticed a trend at children's birthday parties. The children aren't opening their presents at the party. Instead, the parents collect the gifts and take them home for the child to open later. To me, this seems rude and inconsiderate to the children who are attending the party. Part of the enjoyment of giving a gift is seeing the recipient's response. Please let me know the rule of etiquette in this matter. Am I correct in thinking that presents should be opened at children's birthday parties in front of their guests? -- GIFT ETIQUETTE

DEAR G.E.: No rule of etiquette decrees that gifts "must" be opened at the birthday party. Because this trend bothers you, ask the parent of the birthday child why she or he has chosen to have the gifts opened afterward, because there may be more than one reason for it. One that occurs to me might be that it's a way of preventing embarrassment on the part of children who might not be able to afford a gift as expensive as some of the other children's.

DEAR READERS: Today marks the 100th anniversary of America's entry into World War I. In commemoration, I'm mentioning a special initiative to save America's war letters. Almost 20 years ago I wrote about a historian, Andy Carroll, who had launched a project to seek out and preserve war-related letters as a way of honoring and remembering our veterans, troops and their loved ones.

After the column appeared, Andy was deluged with responses. Today that collection holds approximately 100,000 wartime correspondences -- from handwritten letters penned during the American Revolution and Civil War, to emails from Iraq and Afghanistan. Andy has donated the entire collection to Chapman University in Orange, California, and the project is now called the Center for American War Letters (CAWL).

This week, Andy and CAWL are kicking off an ambitious "Million Letters Campaign." Andy will travel nationwide speaking at public libraries, museums, VFW and American Legion posts, civic groups, places of worship, military academies and more to explain the importance of these correspondences and encourage people to share with him their own war-related letters and emails. If you know of someone who has war letters, please share this information so the stories and voices of the men and women who have sacrificed so much for our nation will be preserved.

Andy would love to meet in person anyone with letters to contribute to this "Million Letters Campaign" and is always seeking new venues. If you know of a place he should speak, email him about it. For families with letters who cannot attend, submissions can be sent to Andrew Carroll/CAWL Chapman University, One University Drive, Orange, CA 92866. (Originals are preferred, but scans are also appreciated.)

Ultimately, Andy and CAWL are seeking letters from ALL American wars, on ANY subject matter. For information on how to attend or invite Andy to your community, visit www.WarLetters.us.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Tom," is a senior in high school. About a month ago, he asked a girl named "Allie" to the prom. She said yes. Allie's mom is a hairdresser. My husband and I don't know her or her husband.

Allie's mother has asked two different people about us. One of them told us about it; the other I heard about secondhand. So last week I introduced myself to her at a local function. We spoke briefly, and I told her I would be in touch. A few days ago I called to invite her out for coffee and left a message with my phone number. She hasn't called me back. What can I do to get to know Allie's mother better? -- PROM MOM

DEAR PROM MOM: Make an appointment to have your hair done, and you'll have at least an hour with her.