life

Foolishness Is Not Limited to a Single Calendar Day

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | April 1st, 2017

DEAR READERS: Once again, I can't let April Fools' Day pass without printing a few of the more "interesting" letters that have crossed my desk during the past year:

DEAR ABBY: I own a champion Airedale terrier I have been trying to breed for more than a year. Finding her the right match has proven difficult. But recently, we found a perfect match. Their genetics are superb, and they seem to like each other.

The male's owner and I took the two dogs on a dog run last month and, except for a bit of mud, it was a perfect afternoon. There have been other afternoons and evenings.

The problem is the male's owner. She will only allow her dog to breed mine if she and I also "breed." She claims it is the only true way to know if our canines are a perfect match.

I'm not a prude, but since my divorce, I haven't dated much. The woman is attractive, and I'm lonely, but her proposition felt odd to me. And if the breeding is a regular thing, would that be good for the dogs? What should I do? -- OVERWHELMED IN KANSAS CITY

DEAR OVERWHELMED: Keep your romances and those of your pooch separate unless you're willing to risk your love life going to the dogs.

DEAR ABBY: I wanted to show my elderly co-worker some photos I had taken of the countryside. Without thinking, I handed her my phone so she could browse through them while I went to get coffee. When I returned, my phone was on my desk and she was nowhere to be found.

Only then did I realize she must have seen the many nude pictures of me and my husband. (We like to send each other naughty selfies.) What's more, the photos are clown-themed -- rainbow wigs, red noses, makeup, etc.

My co-worker has never said anything, but now I sense she's avoiding me. Should I pull her aside and see if she wants to talk about anything? Pretend it never happened? Casually mention "the circus" and see if she gives a reaction? -- NAUGHTY IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR NAUGHTY: The less said the better. This mess was caused by your "greatest show on earth" of bad judgment. You have only your selfie to blame for the uncomfortable silence happening in your office.

DEAR ABBY: Would sex with a robot be considered infidelity? -- WONDERING IN WESTWORLD

DEAR WONDERING: It's not infidelity unless the robot belongs to somebody else -- or you do.

DEAR ABBY: I love my girlfriend so much. I'm trying to think of a unique romantic gesture to show her what she means to me.

Would it be acceptable to have a carnivorous plant delivered to her office? Although I've considered traditional ones, I think the carrion flower is my pick. It's huge, pink and smells like rotting flesh. I think it's the perfect way to express my love. What do you think? -- OFFBEAT IN ST. PETE

DEAR OFFBEAT: I think your idea stinks worse than the flower. Happy April Fools' Day to you and to all my readers! -- LOVE, ABBY

Work & SchoolSex & GenderHolidays & Celebrations
life

Teen Would Rather Text Than Talk to Her Crush at School

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 31st, 2017 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: There is a boy I like at school. He is a very well-known person around school. I'm not. I do have a wide variety of friends, and I even talk to some of his.

My friends know I like him, and they would like for me to talk to him. I wouldn't mind that, but what would I say? They want it to happen in person, but I want to do it by text, where I feel more me. What should I do? -- TENNESSEE TEEN

DEAR TEEN: Listen to your friends and approach him in person. A smile and a hello should break the ice. Then follow it up with a question about some activity that's happening at school.

Work & SchoolTeensLove & Dating
life

Grocery Store Samples Are Meant to Be Given, Not Taken

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 31st, 2017 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Could you please address the etiquette of tasting samples at stores, events, food shows, etc.? People walk up and try to grab a sample with dirty, bleeding, scabby hands not realizing that other people will also be sampling that food.

Samples are supposed to be given to each person. And when that happens, the food handler should be wearing clean gloves and be the only person touching the food.

Please let people know that once someone without gloves touches this food, the demonstrator must discard it for health reasons. Also, samples cannot be given to children without their parents' permission, and any food allergies must be addressed before someone asks for a sample. -- MARY IN FLORIDA

DEAR MARY: Your suggestions are not only good manners, they also make common sense. I hope that readers who don't know better will learn from your letter for the sake of everyone's health.

Etiquette & EthicsHealth & Safety
life

Help Is Available for Low-Income Students Applying to College

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 31st, 2017 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: "Enough to Share" (Dec. 5) was interested in supporting her daughter's friends through the college application process. "Enough" could mention to the family that SAT and ACT fee waivers should be available through the school counseling department if the twins are considered low-income.

Students should also know about government assistance programs, such as the Pell Grant, which can give additional money toward tuition for any low-income student. They can get more information through their schools when they fill out their FAFSA forms. -- TITLE I TEACHER

DEAR TEACHER: Thank you for the pertinent information. Read on for some instructive input from another reader:

DEAR ABBY: Many schools have "Helping Hands" funds available for this purpose and would allow the family to donate to these specific girls anonymously, if need be. As an educator, I encourage everyone to reach out to a local school to offer help to struggling high school students. If they are in a position to do so, they should ask if they can sponsor a student in the college application process or sign up to mentor. -- A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY

MoneyWork & School
life

Graciousness Is Key to the Art of Accepting a Compliment

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 30th, 2017 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I'm a young man in my mid-20s, and I have a deeper voice than my stature would typically suggest. Close friends even get thrown off when I talk to them if they haven't seen me in a while. I'm fairly happy with it, and people often ask if I do radio or voice acting. I run into problems, though, when strangers comment on it.

If someone says, "Wow, has anyone ever told you that you have a great voice?" or something of that nature, my first impulse is to make a joke about it. If I'm not quick enough on my feet, however, I often catch myself saying something like, "Yeah, I get that a lot," or, "I know," both of which sound egotistical, and I feel embarrassed afterward. Is there a way to acknowledge the compliment that doesn't come off so pretentious? -- NOT QUICK ON MY FEET

DEAR NOT QUICK: Yes, accept the compliment graciously by saying, "Thank you."

Etiquette & Ethics
life

Family Begins to Question Man's Disabling Illness

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 30th, 2017 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My husband has been sick and unable to work for several years due to a debilitating illness. He has been home taking care of the kids while I have been working full time. We have lost everything because of the financial burden of his illness. I am very grateful to my parents for helping us financially during this tough time.

Unfortunately, I believe some of my family think my husband is faking his illness. This is hurtful since they have known him for a long time (we've been married 12 years). My sister recently asked him in a rather nasty way why he doesn't just go get a job, and I'm beginning to think that my parents share her sentiment.

He already feels guilty and worthless for not being able to provide for our family. It's coming to the point where I just want to get away from them and cut off contact. Should I address the issue or just let it go? -- SICK IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SICK: By all means address the issue. What your sister did was both cruel and out of line. Ask your parents if those are their sentiments as well, because you are concerned they might be.

If they are having doubts about your husband's physical problems, offer to share medical information that proves his health problems are all too real. Because your parents have been helping out financially, it might help to clear the air.

Health & SafetyMoneyFamily & Parenting
life

Bombshell Revelation Could Splinter Family Connections

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | March 30th, 2017 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My son just got some devastating news. He found out that the son he has raised for 20 years isn't his. We will always love the young man regardless. The thing is, how do we help our son to overcome losing a child we all thought was his? -- HEARTBROKEN IN TEXAS

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: Regardless of who contributed the sperm that fertilized the egg that became your grandson, the person your son raised is his son. The bond is there. Your son is the only father he has ever known. If you move forward from there and don't deviate from that path, you should all be able to deal with this in a positive manner.

Family & Parenting

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