DEAR ABBY: My 21-year-old daughter has a 6-month-old child. The father is a 36-year-old man who was recently deported to Mexico. He continues to contact her and wants her to travel to Mexico to visit him. I am terrified of all the things that could happen to her if she goes.
I don't trust him. I keep thinking, will he try to keep the baby? Will he try to keep them both or entice her to do something illegal? (He had an earlier felony conviction.) Am I overreacting? How can I get her to recognize that these types of things happen all the time? -- MOTHER IN ILLINOIS
DEAR MOTHER: The most important thing you can do right now is calm down. Your daughter is an adult, and you need to treat her like one. You are within your rights to express your concern, but if she wants to go, you cannot stop her.
If I were her mother, I'd approach it this way: Offer to take care of your grandchild while she visits the baby's daddy. That way she can get a look at how he's living and what he is doing. Suggest she take lots of photos with her. But unless she is absolutely sure that the environment is safe for her child, the little one should stay north of the border.