DEAR ABBY: I am a stay-at-home mom with three children. Recently, another mom asked me to care for her 3-year-old daughter while she went to work. She offered to pay me, but I declined, given her circumstances, because I consider her a friend, even though I have known her for only a short time.

My fiance is now mad at me for not charging her. How can I make him see that it is not a problem for me since I am stuck at home anyway? It's not like I am losing money by doing her a favor. -- STUCK AT HOME IN COLORADO

DEAR STUCK: That it's not a problem for you isn't the point. It's a problem for your fiance. He may not want the family's hard-earned money going toward feeding someone else's child. But ultimately, the decision about whether to do this favor for your friend should be yours, and not his.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I recently moved, taking jobs that are closer to our son and daughter-in-law. They have no children but want to start a family, and we are praying for our first grandchild.

When they take business trips (which is often), I take care of their cats and dogs. A few days ago, while I was in their bedroom (where the cats are kept), I saw an anatomically correct sex toy that had been left on the bed stand. I'm no prude, but should I say something to my son? We have an excellent relationship. I'm concerned that he may need some fatherly advice if they are having conception problems. What do you think? -- CONCERNED IN WASHINGTON

DEAR CONCERNED: In the interest of family harmony, keep your advice to yourself unless you are asked. If they are having "conception problems," rest assured they will find their way to a fertility expert without your assistance.

DEAR ABBY: My 24-year-old son got married in August 2016. His wife is very nice and we get along fine. He's my youngest child and we are very close.

My issue is, she refuses to put their wedding picture in the newspaper. She said it's not necessary, and the people most important know they are already married. I want to keep it as a remembrance just like my daughter had hers in years ago. My son is agreeing with her. Please help. -- NEWSPAPER WEDDING PHOTO

DEAR NEWSPAPER: It's seven months too late for your son and daughter-in-law's wedding picture to appear in the paper. At this point it's "old news." It would be better to reconcile your disappointment at not having the memento, because he and his wife are unified on this and the battle is already lost.

DEAR ABBY: I took an assignment with my company that posted me to Hong Kong for two years. My adult children, ages 21, 26 and 29, were supportive, although my youngest was not especially happy about it. We video chat with our kids, trying to stay involved as much as possible. We have also visited multiple times. It's not always ideal, but we try. We have also offered to pay for them to visit us as often as they would like.

My company has asked me to stay one more year because I haven't completely finished what I was sent here to do. I'm inclined to do it. My youngest child, however, is so angry at me for even considering it that she won't talk to me. She refuses to come and visit, and is punishing me for needing to stay an additional year. Am I choosing my job over my children? -- PROFESSIONAL WOMAN FROM MICHIGAN

DEAR PROFESSIONAL WOMAN: Yes, you are, but there's a practical reason for it. Also, your adult "children" aren't children anymore, even though your youngest is acting like one. As a career woman, if you feel you should stay in Hong Kong to complete your assignment, that is what you need to do.

DEAR ABBY: I am responding to the letter from "Unsure in the West" (Oct. 9). You advised that you "see nothing wrong with what she did" in opening a box in a grocery store and eating some of the contents before paying at the checkout. You should know that legally, eating or using the contents of an unpaid item in the aisle is considered "shoplifting." The perpetrator can be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

I am a certified protection professional. While the intent may not be to "steal," retailers -- whose industry loses billions of dollars to theft each year -- require that items in their stores be paid for before they can be used or eaten.

An employee of mine was assigned to work in a major grocery chain. He took a bottle of eye drops and used them while he was in the aisle. He had taken the exact change from his pocket and was holding it in his hand as he walked to the checkout. Before he could get there, he was arrested by store security. As a courtesy to me, the chain agreed to reinstate him if he passed a lie-detector test determining his "intent to steal." (He passed the test.) I strongly recommend that the practice of using or eating items before paying for them never be condoned. -- ALLAN IN YONKERS

DEAR ALLAN: I apologize for saying otherwise and thank you for your letter. Other readers also responded to that column citing firsthand experiences working in the retail field.

Several of them mentioned that it is impossible to correctly charge for food that is sold by weight if someone has eaten some, such as fruit. Others said that customers sometimes get to the register to pay and realize they have left their wallet at home, or their credit card is rejected.

A reader also suggested that if someone wants to pay for food after consuming it, that's what restaurants are for. In restaurants, if the customer can't pay, there are dishes to be washed.

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Maddy" is in 12th grade and will graduate soon. Over the last two years, we have grown really close -- from eating Chinese together every other day, to going shopping together. We have the closest relationship in the family, and I consider her to be my best friend. Although I have many close friends, her being my sister makes her the closest to me.

Lately I've been mad at her. I thought for a while it was because she got a boyfriend, but her boyfriend is like a brother to me and we get along great. After hearing her say, "Only a couple of more months 'til I'm done with school forever," I have realized I'm mad because she's graduating soon.

I have two younger sisters, but we aren't nearly as close as Maddy and I are. For the past month, I've been saying no when Maddy and her boyfriend ask me to hang out with them. I'm afraid that because of this I'm going to lose the bond I have with my sister.

I don't want her to graduate because it means she'll be moving away, and I won't get to see my best friend every day. I don't know whether to be happy about her graduating, or angry. Please help me. -- MIXED UP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MIXED UP: Try to be happy for your sister. Explain to Maddy why you have been behaving the way you have so she will understand.

From your description of your emotions, it appears you may be suffering from a version of empty-nest syndrome. It's a malady that often strikes parents when their child is about to "launch." An effective way to counteract it is to find activities you enjoy and keep yourself busy so you will have less time to brood.

Another thought: This is now your chance to be the supportive oldest sister in the house, and to forge a closer relationship with your younger siblings. It's an opportunity that may reap big dividends in the future, so please don't waste it.

DEAR ABBY: The daughter of a friend of more than 20 years is getting married next year. They live 1,400 miles away. She told me yesterday that I am invited to the wedding, but my live-in boyfriend is not. Her explanation is she has to control the costs. She told me a mutual friend's husband isn't invited, either.

Including the price of a gift, it would cost me around $900 to attend the wedding. She had implied that wedding gifts should be in the range of $200 to cover the expense of the food and drink.

I have decided to decline the invitation because my boyfriend can't come. What would an appropriate gift be? -- STAYING PUT IN WISCONSIN

DEAR STAYING PUT: According to the rules of etiquette, because you don't plan to attend the wedding, no gift is required. However, in light of your more than 20-year friendship, consider sending a token gift to the daughter -- the price range is up to you.

Readers, there is a common misconception that the price of wedding gifts must be in line with what the hosts spend on the food and beverages at the reception. According to Emily Post, that is a "modern myth," and "the amount you spend is strictly a matter of your budget."