DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I have been engaged for two years. Our wedding is set for a year from now. I'm thinking about calling off our wedding, not because I don't love him, or because I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know I want that. It's because I'm the only one with a decent job. He has a job, but doesn't earn enough to support us.

I can't be the only one earning an income. How are we supposed to move out of our parents' houses and start a life together if I'm the one doing everything? What will happen when things need to start getting paid for, and there's no guarantee he'll find something? I have talked to him about it, and he's angry. He knows it's time to change his life around and get serious.

Should I keep the date and keep my fingers crossed he'll find a job by then, or postpone our wedding, which has a venue but nothing else planned? I don't need to get married anytime soon, and I'd prefer to wait until he can support himself and we are in a better place financially. Then I feel like we could move forward. Am I making the right decision? -- CAUTIOUS IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Yes, you are. You are thinking with your head instead of being swept away by your emotions, and I applaud you for it. I have said for many years that before a woman marries she should be able to support herself, in case future circumstances require it. Well, the same is true for a man.

DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man. Recently, I rekindled a relationship I had with a guy I was close with many years ago. We have a lot of the same interests.

When he asked what it would take for us to be permanent, I asked that he stop smoking pot. He responded that he does it only "two or three times a year" and that for me to make that request was "controlling." I asked him for no other changes.

I hate the smell of smoke, and pot is illegal in our state, so I broke it off because he wouldn't agree. Did I do the right thing? -- TONY IN FLORIDA

DEAR TONY: Yes, because his response to your simple request indicates that any accommodation you asked of him would likely be met with the same reaction.

DEAR ABBY: My 63-year-old husband refuses to cut his hair. It is gray and thinning and is now longer than mine. Even when it's clean it looks dirty.

I was raised to take pride in my appearance. If I say anything about it, he thinks it's funny, or the other extreme, that I am picking on him. He's not a rock star or a young lad. Please help. -- NEAT AND CLEAN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NEAT AND CLEAN: I'll try. Your mistake is making his problem (poor grooming) your problem. Continue to take pride in your appearance, and if he prefers to look like an old hippie, let him. Neither you nor I can change him, and because his tresses are thinning, the problem may resolve itself.

DEAR ABBY: I've had a feeling my wife is about to leave me for another man. For the last few months he has been coming to the bar where she works and saying stuff to her. I don't know what he says, but he has also been texting her and posting things on her Facebook page.

She told me he's only a friend, but since he has been coming around at her work, she's been really cold to me at night. We don't have sex like we used to, and she doesn't let me hold her when we are in bed. Plus, she used to sleep nude, but now she wears pajamas to bed.

What should I do? She told me I need to get help because I'm jealous of him. -- JEALOUS IN OREGON

DEAR JEALOUS: I think "help" would be a good idea. Tell your wife you're willing to get some on the condition that she come with you. It's called marriage counseling, and clearly you both are in need of some. Your doctor can refer you to a licensed therapist. Also, if you have a religious adviser, make an appointment to talk with him or her. If your wife refuses, do both of these things without her. Please don't wait.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old sophomore. People in my class openly share their opinions and act disgusted when a slightly older man and a younger woman are together, or vice versa.

I get offended when my classmates make these comments because my mom is 39 and my stepfather is 27. They love each other very much, and I don't think age should interfere. Am I oversensitive because I'm offended by these comments? -- AGE IS JUST A NUMBER

DEAR AGE: Becoming offended solves nothing, unless the comments are made specifically about your mom and stepdad. It's my observation that people with little life experience tend to be judgmental about things they know nothing about, and 15-year-olds are no exception. Perhaps when your classmates are older, they'll realize that people don't fall in love "by the numbers" and that it's a mistake to generalize.

DEAR ABBY: When I was growing up, I was always told to remove my shoes when visiting another person's house, especially if they have new flooring. Now that I'm an adult and building a new house, I would like to ask people to remove their shoes upon entering my home.

I have young children and expect family with other small kids will visit. I'd like to keep the floors clean and maintain their good condition. Would it be tacky or rude to ask this of visitors? -- SHOELESS IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR SHOELESS: I don't think so, but some people may. In Japan, removing one's shoes before entering a dwelling is customary. The soles of shoes are covered with germs, and if small children crawl around on your floors, it's not too much to ask. Be sure to warn prospective guests in advance so they can bring their own slippers, or keep a supply of them by your front door.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 911 dispatcher and I am shocked by the abuse of the 911 system. We are here to help in times of emergency, but our lines are continuously tied up by people who don't have one. Please help by passing along this plea to your readers:

1. Please don't call to ask for phone numbers; we are not Information.

2. If you are on a speakerphone or shouting, WE CAN'T HEAR YOU CLEARLY! We know you are upset, but we can't help if we can't understand where you are or what type of assistance you need.

3. Do not assume that our computers can pick up your location. We can get an idea of where you are, but there is no guarantee that the information is accurate.

4. Every question we ask is important. You may not think so, but we wouldn't ask if the information was not vital.

5. And please, don't call us asking for directions or the time!

A dispatcher's job is to keep our responders and the public safe. When our lines are tied up by people who abuse the system, we are unable to help those in dire need of our help. We spend our days dealing with high-stress situations, and we do our best to guarantee a safe outcome for everyone involved. Please respect the 911 emergency system and call only for true emergencies. -- 911 DISPATCHER

DEAR 911 DISPATCHER: I'm printing your letter because it boggles my mind that anyone would be so stupid or inconsiderate as to deliberately call the emergency phone number asking for directions or the time. It is my understanding that some of the 911 systems are antiquated, and too many calls can tie them up, leaving someone with a real emergency unable to get through. In times like that, minutes can be critical. Perhaps the problem would be solved if callers who did not have a true emergency were fined for doing so -- since I'm sure you have the number from which the call was placed.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 10 years and have four children. Two years ago, we went through a rough patch and separated. After working through our problems, we moved back in together recently.

Over the last few months, I have noticed that I become depressed whenever he's around. It's nothing he does. He's nice and has improved himself over the last two years, but I miss living without him. I wish we would get a divorce so I could go back to living with just my children.

Do I feel this way because of low self-esteem, or is it something else? I'm not sure what to make of it, and your advice would be greatly appreciated. -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN OHIO

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: It appears that although you and your husband worked through your problems enough to move back together, there's still more work to be done to repair your relationship.

Be careful what you wish for. Whether your attraction to him has simply grown stale or you have fallen completely out of love with him, I can't guess. But with four children in the picture, I hope you will schedule some sessions with a licensed marriage counselor before making any final decisions about making that wish of yours come true.